YAY … ish … AGAIN …

I woke up at 3 am all on my own. AGAIN. At 3:30 I realized I wasn’t going to fall back to sleep without a fight. A few years ago I created a little yoga stretch sequence that I can do in bed. It either wakes me up or stretches me out enough so that I can relax and go back to sleep. Today it worked like a charm and I fell back to sleep before 4 am. YAY … ish. I then proceeded to have a crazy dream about my ceiling falling down from a water leak. I woke up in a panic at 4:30 searching my ceiling for any bulging and dripping water. Luckily it was fine. But I was wide awake. AGAIN. I tried my hardest to fall back to sleep but this time it wasn’t happening. So I got up and went on an early morning walk. I surrendered to the idea that God was just going to give me more hours in my day to enjoy. YAY … ish. AGAIN.

Well, I hope you all have a day we’re you rise, stretch, dream, freak out and give in!!!

Advertisements

Be still …

Quiet mornings reveal little treasures! I have been a little obsessed with arrows for a while now. Correction … A LOT. And it only seems to be growing stronger! I’ve always identified with the quote:

“An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it’s going to launch you into something great. So just focus, and keep aiming.” (Author unknown)

This quote couldn’t represent my life any better. I LOVE IT.

And the whole running thing is caught up in this too. Runners often describe running as “flying”. For me, I always imagined that like an arrow. I have always found this feeling of “soaring” to be one of the BEST things EVER. It’s honestly intoxicating. The freedom it fuels in my heart cannot be replicated. Again, arrows are AWESOME!

Then the knowledge of “The Lucky Few” Down Syndrome awareness tattoo came my way. Well, if I wasn’t infatuated with arrows before, I CERTAINLY was then! So much so, that after 30 years of trying to figure out a tattoo for myself, it all became CRYSTAL CLEAR! Anyway, my point is that arrows mean something to me.

This morning after getting Libs off to school, I had some unusual down time. I guess it wasn’t true “down time”. Does anyone even have THAT anymore?!?! I guess what I mean is that I TOOK the time to enjoy my coffee in the quiet and calm moments before I got Reese up for school. And in doing so, I realized something. My “to-go” cups, that I have been using all summer, we’re covered in a pattern of three “V”’s that matched my tattoo perfectly. HOW on earth did I not notice this before?!?!

Oh wait … I know … I was just too busy.

If you know me, you know that I love things like this. I truly believe that these are God/the Universe/Spiritual moments that give me grounding. They are things … NO … TREASURES that remind me of what is important. And they inevitably put a smile on my face and motivate me to look at the world differently. These moments are a GIFT! I just wish we all took the time to notice them.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you find the time to BE STILL!!!

Faith, love and miracles …

Despite posting these words every year they still bring me to tears. Happy tears. Tears that warriors cry after winning a long battle. I don’t think I will ever be able to change how I tell this story. To do so would be an injustice to her and to me. And to all of our family and friends who stood by us then and who continue to walk through this life with us now. This story is about our beginning together. The story that we all fought so hard to tell. It is a story about faith, love … and miracles.

When I was about 11 weeks pregnant we were told that she did not look quite so “typical” … I didn’t care. I loved our baby. And I prayed.

A few weeks later we were told, that not only was our baby “not typical”, but that there was a chance I would be delivering her stillborn. I wanted our baby even more fiercely than I had before. And I prayed.

Several weeks later, we almost lost our baby … to which I screamed an angry and adamant “NO!” And I prayed.

A month later we were told that our baby had a “very large hole in her heart” … to which I said, “I don’t believe you.“ And I prayed.

Two months later we were told, “Your baby is small” … to which I laughed and said, “Of all the things that you have told us, this seems pretty manageable.” And I prayed.

Two weeks later, on what was supposed to be a brief doctor’s visit before we headed to our local water park, we were told that our baby was not growing, that she was too small and that she was not acting the way that she should be. We were told that I would be given another amniocentesis to see if her lungs were developed. If they were, my doctor wanted to take her right away. I felt like my body was failing her. And I prayed.

My doctor gave me a drug to speed up our baby’s lung development. The results of the amniocentesis were not what we had hoped for. My doctor told us that our baby’s lungs were not developed, our baby could not breath on her own. Now we had a team of medical professionals. They hoped nothing would go wrong for the next 48 hours so that the steroid they had given me would have time to help our baby’s lungs grow … to which I said, “OK”. And I prayed.

Less than 24 hours later I had a hospital room full of people wearing blue. They were running around and pumping my body full of fluids and drugs. We were told that we could no longer wait. We were told that our baby would not be breathing and that she would be very small and weak … to which I cried in her father’s arms and said, “I’m scared.” And I prayed.

Minutes later I was strapped to a table. I had refused anything that would alter my mental state. I wanted to be there for our baby. It took a long time to get her out. I was told that she was so small that she kept slipping through the doctor’s hands. I kept screaming, “Is she out?!?!” And I prayed.

Then, I heard a cry … to which I thought, “That is a loud cry for a baby who is supposed to be weak, small and not breathing.” And I prayed.

A few minutes later our baby was brought over to me, warmly swaddled, pink as could be, breathing all on her own and with no hole in her heart. (Sure, she had some extra chromosomes, but who cares about that?) And when I saw her I thought, “You are my miracle and I love you.” And then, I praised God for our beautiful daughter.

Nine years ago today, through God’s amazing grace, Reese Lindsey Grace Henry was born by emergency cesarean section. She was 6 weeks early. She weighed 2lbs 15oz and was 15 ½ inches long. My world has not been quite the same since that day … and I would have it no other way.

Happy 9th Birthday to my precious miracle! Reesey Roo you are my JOY, the smile on my face and my WHY! Mommy loves you and all of your extra parts 💕

Well, I hope you all have a day where you celebrate a miracle … and always remember to pray!!!

Changed for the better …

Nine years ago today I literally LIVED the quote “life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans”. And I also learned that God can be working on giving you a miracle … even when you didn’t know that you need one.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you are changed for the better!!!

Loved and needed …

Having four children, and one with special needs, comes with an incredible amount of responsibility. Even with two adult children now, life can often seem like it’s pulling me in every direction possible. Maybe even in some directions not yet discovered by scientists and mathematicians, HA! I am constantly doing something for someone or planning something that needs to be (or someone wants to be) done. I am their GO-TO person for problem-solving and … cash. HA, again! We share long talks late at night and I receive ugly early morning wake up calls. I have event alerts on my phone for us along with calendars (TWO) posted in our kitchen to keep us organized. Every night I review my To-Do List for the next day. It is usually filled with things that they need help with. I am available 24 hours a day 7 days a week for them. Until I die. And even then, l’m sure that I’ll figure out a way to still stay involved. HA, again again!

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am NOT complaining. Actually, I feel like I’m bragging.

Why?

Because my kids are incredible human beings. They are thoughtful, kind, loving, responsible and driven. And they LOVE and NEED me. To be LOVED is wonderful. To be NEEDED magnifies love 10-fold. Heck, 1,000,000-fold. Is that even a thing?!?! Regardless, my heart is full. My life is blessed, SO BLESSED, because of these humans who I love beyond measure. It may sound exhausting, and honestly some days it is, but I wouldn’t trade this life with them for anything. I love that they still need me. That they choose to make me THAT person. Because really, they don’t have to. They can turn to friends and other family members who would be there for them just as readily as I am. But they go to me. Their mom. And well, I don’t think there has ever been anything in my life that has been quite so rewarding and humbling. I thank God every day for them and the privilege of being their mom. And all the duties and responsibilities that go with it and that I take on. It’s an honor. Truly.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you feel LOVED and NEEDED!!!

I hope He is right …

Some days I am faced with some stressful junk. I really try to make peace with moments like this. One way is by telling myself that this is God’s way of reminding me of how strong God thinks I am. BIG SIGH.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you hope He is right!!!

Rise and shine …

Good morning and happy Saturday! I woke up unusually early and with an energy I don’t take for granted these days. When I have mornings like this I am always extra thankful. They put me in a GLOWINGLY good mood! It’s like God is allowing me more time in my day to enjoy my life. How cool is that?!?! And trust me, I’m not going to waste one single second of it!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you rise and shine!!!