Six years later and still going strong … 

Today is my 6-Year Blogiversary. I can’t believe it. What started off as a few friends encouraging me to formally do something with my qwerky daily well wishes has turned into so much more. It has truly become my hope. There are days when I don’t want to find one positive thing to say about my world. But this blog has motivated me to do it anyway. It has been a gift. A very unexpected gift.

Six years ago today I set out to do a daily blog. A place to find hope for each new day. Even if it was silly or not very hope-filled, I still wanted to keep at it every day. As the years passed I often wondered what would stop this daily writing streak of mine. I didn’t know. But unfortunately I found out last Fall exactly what would stop me.

I was recovering from my second round of meningitis. At first I found myself able to blog daily even through my hospitalIzation but a terrible drug reaction set me back. WAY BACK. I was so sick I couldn’t stay awake for more then a few minutes at a time. It aggravated the pain still lurking in my head from the encephalopathy. I couldn’t stay focused and I had ringing and buzzing in my ears. I was a mess so I reluctantly decided that I wasn’t going to blog until I got better. It took 21 days before I was able to write again.

There were days early on when I didn’t miss blogging one bit. Rest and sleep was all I wanted. That made me so sad. But what made me even sadder was when I became well enough to be aware that I couldn’t keep it up. That my body and mind were not THERE yet. So I waited and thought about the many times when my little blog had pulled me through tough days. I was so grateful to have THIS THING and for the people who encouraged me to start it in the first place. And for the kind souls who actually read my blog entries. Their comments on and involvement with these penned words of mine mean the world to me. And only after having to give it all up did I realize how much this blog had become a part of me … and I missed it dearly. It wasn’t until those 21 days that I realized how important it is that we lift ourselves up EVERY SINGLE DAY. We need to force ourselves to see the good in our lives, even if we don’t want to. Whether it is written on paper, spoken out loud or a thought in our head. Finding even a shred of something we can be hopeful about will do our souls good. I have lived THIS for 6 years now, probably longer. And I can tell you that those 21 days without a conscious decision to diligently seek that hope out were some of the darkest days that I have ever known.

So when will I stop blogging again? I can honestly say that I don’t know. I’ll certainly know it when that day comes around again. But until then, I’ll just keep writing and running and hoping my way through each new day.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you celebrate that you’re still going strong!!!

Living lovingly in denial …

I absolutely love having all of my kids at home. The laughter and conversations. The loudness and busyness. Listening to them “catch up” with each other. I love it ALL! Being a parent who was only child I wanted so much so to have a home filled with lots of children. I have been blessed to live that dream.

This may sound silly, but as my kids where growing up it never occurred to me how much it would affect me when they left home to go to college. At minimum, I WAY underestimated those feelings. It has been terribly hard to be so far away from Sidney. I miss her very much when she is gone. And the worry! Let’s not even discuss THAT one! YIKES!

Anyway, I remember when Sid’s second semester of her senior year rolled around, my emotions where similar to that of a roller coaster on steroids. I was utterly shocked at myself. Even I didn’t know it could be THAT emotional, HA! And now, with G3 just a few weeks shy of graduating, I have been overwhelmed with all the same emotions. The same feelings of loss and elation all over again. I’m tearful one minute and excited the next. How is this possible?!?! Isn’t this process supposed to get easier?!?! Because it’s not, at least not for me. And that’s OK. These feelings remind me of just how blessed I am to love so deeply these wonderful beings I get to call my children. I am thankful that our close bonds have made these milestones emotionally charged. Love really does crazy things with your heart. I have written before, that as painful as this growing-up process is, I wouldn’t want it any other way. I have found no greater joy than loving my children and watching them plan to leave home to chase their dreams. It truly is beautiful.

I am so thankful that we are all together again. I know it’s not going to last very long. But for now, for the next few months while they are all home, I’m going to pretend that I don’t know that times like these will become fewer and farther between. I’m going to love them like always and relish in the joy I feel just being their mom … appreciating every precious second.

Well, I hope you all have day where you live lovingly in denial!!!

Just sitting here …

Have you ever been so tired (lazy) that even the mere thought of getting up from your spot was exhausting? Like the only thing you want more than your next breath of fresh air, is the power to WILL your bed to you? OK, maybe I’m being a little dramatic but you get my point. I don’t want to move.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you just sit there!!!

We survived …

A holiday. A move home. Three 4-hour dress rehearsals. Two of three (the third being tonight) musical performances. A school cranival. A very important application submission. An AP final exam. And an 18-miler. Ya know, amongst all the other things we normally do around here in a week. I’m lucky we crawled out unharmed. I think …

Well, I hope you all have a day where you survived!!!

More animals in my circus …

This week has been filled with pandemonium and this afternoon we had a visitor that added to our mayhem. Just as we arrived home from Reese’s school carnival and were rushing out the door for the second of three performances for G3 and Libs, a lizard made its way into our house. The timing couldn’t have been more ridiculous. Thankfully G3 was able to get the little beast out of our house fast enough for everyone to get to where they needed to be one time. But all I kept thinking was … a freaking lizard … NOW?!?!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you don’t have more animals added to your circus!!!

Runners are fickle …

I came in from my run this morning and announced, “I hate running.” Sid said that this statement can only be fully understood if you are a runner. A runner who hates running. Yep, it sounds odd but Sid is right. Running is hard. And it sucks. Yet runners keep doing it anyway. Even after the worst run imaginable we almost immediately start planning the next. Which is exactly what I started doing. Excitedly.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you aren’t fickle!!!