Love and a loss for words …

Happy Mother’s Day everyone! Words can’t express how much I miss my mom. But in a way that comforts me. It means that I loved and still love that woman HUGE. Sometimes you get lucky enough to experience something in life and you get to just FEEL it. For me it’s the motherly love she filled my life with. I can still feel it. But to describe it, explain its’ influence over me and how I feel about loosing her, is not something I’m capable of. It’s just too big. But I try to express it in different ways like living genuinely, just the way she taught me. And in sharing her legacy of hope every single day and at every opportunity I get. It may be 24 years since her passing but her influence on me, my family and our little world will continue on forever. And that is certainly something to celebrate.

Well, I hope you all have a day where love leaves you at a loss for words!!!

Advertisements

Happily and hopefully still at it …

Today is my blog’s 7th year anniversary. That is a whole lot of years filled with hope. And that just makes me smile. Thank you all for sharing them with me.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you are happily and hopefully still at it!!!

Hell hath no fury like a runner disappointed in themselves …

I did my long run yesterday … and it was horrific. I was looking forward to it and had no reservations about getting it done, but it got ugly. REAL UGLY.

The first six miles were fine. Completely uneventful. But by mile 8 I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. The miles that followed were even worse. The word NASTY describes it about as good as “ice cube” describes an iceberg. Yep, it was THAT BAD. It was honestly one of the toughest training runs I’ve ever had. Don’t get me wrong I have experienced these awful miles before. Some runs just SUCK. And this one SUCKED HUGE.

But as much as I loathe these trying runs, I have also grown to appreciate them. Not at the time, of course! At the time I’m too wrapped up in the misery to see anything good. I wonder why I continue to subject myself to the disappointment. I wonder if my body was ever meant for distance. I berate myself with all sorts of negatives! The appreciation I have for tough runs comes later when I realize that I can suffer greatly and still somehow manage to survive. There is something in this realization that gives me strength. Knowing that I can push myself mind, body and soul is empowering. It’s hell, but it’s empowering!

Thankfully by the next day, the memory of my terrible run fades and I begin to think about my next long run. One that I envision will be better. WAY BETTER. The best part of this is that my mind believes it’s possible. Somehow my feelings of defeat morph into determination. FIERCE determination! And it gets me back out there, HAPPILY, week after grueling training week. To try to explain this roller coaster of emotions and self-inflicted physical torment sounds insane even to me. But I guess that’s why they say runners are crazy, HA!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you can’t wait to do it all over again!!!

Fresh eyes and some new hope …

Reese and I saw her pediatrician today. Although the appointment had nothing to do with her feeding issues, of course her doctor asked. And I’m glad she did because we brainstormed a little. AND I am excited to report that we have a new consultation scheduled! We have tried it all. Therapies, assessments, scans, (you name it) to figure out why Reese is still not chewing. It has presented as an issue for both her nutrition and her safety. Heck, one of the main reasons I went back to school was to make sure I was doing everything I could to keep her off a feeding tube! Although I’ve been successful with her nutritionally the choking risk remains. And it’s scary. So needless to say, I am THANKFUL for this new opportunity and GRATEFUL to still have more options to explore.

Well, I hope you all have a day where fresh eyes give you new hope!!!

Living your highest potential …

When I was young I believed that finding my purpose in life would also be when and where I would find my greatest joy. When all the other drama I focused on would just miraculously fall by the wayside. Like a BOOM of clarity that would leave me feeling good and right and comfortable in my own skin.

And … it is ALL that.

But there is something that I have learned as I’ve gotten older. Something my young mind never considered.

I’ve got A LOT of different purposes. Actually, TONS.

It is a blessing to know this now and it’s something I wish I could go back and tell my younger self. How freeing it would be to know that all my eggs weren’t in just one basket. To understand that time and wisdom opens doors to new opportunities to recreate or find one’s purpose. With all the gifts we are given and the diverse personalities we embody I can’t imagine that God would only have one BIG thing for us to become. We are capable of so much more! And as I inch closer to my 50th Birthday I am wildly aware that time dictates nothing. As long as I have breath, I have purpose. It’s just up to me to allow it to happen. Over and over again. To seize every exciting day as a lesson and treat it as an opportunity to grow even more into me. Could you imagine if we all lived with this freedom? A world where we never gave up on ourselves or settled. Where change was welcome and passions were lived no matter what our ages may be. I don’t know about you, but I think it would be pretty amazing.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you live your highest potential!!!

Celebrating EXTRA …

Today is World Down Syndrome Day! And we all know that I have someone very special in my life who has Down Syndrome. My beautiful 8 year old daughter Reese!

March 21st is a global day of awareness that has been officially observed by the United Nations since 2012. How cool is that?!?! This date was chosen to represent the triplication of the 21st chromosome (3/21) found in individuals with Down Syndrome. Today I celebrate Reese and the amazing community of people with whom we share our lives.

I was told when I was 15 weeks pregnant that Reese had Down Syndrome. I did not grieve or cry. I did the complete opposite. My heart was immediately filled with hope for the future. And not just for my future or hers. From the moment that I was told that she had Down Syndrome I knew that Reese was going to change the world for the better. It was like a blanket of understanding that I had never felt before. And I have witnessed her work her magic time and time again ever since. She has softened the hardest of hearts and changed the most ridged of minds. I am so proud of her! This little girl of mine is smart, silly, kind and caring. Her compassion for others runs deep. She is a bright light in this dark world. She has taught me SO SO SO much and has showed me what real strength and perseverance looks like. And best of all, she loves me HUGE! Reese is an incredible human being and I am humbled that God chose me to be her mommy. It is truly a blessing and an honor.

I love you my Reesey Roo. You are my hero!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you celebrate EXTRA!!!

I finally decided …

I got my first tattoo yesterday. It took the better part of 30 years to figure out what I wanted. HA! I’d like to say that isn’t the truth, but it is. I have wanted a tattoo for years but I could never figure out specifically what I wanted. An upcoming Down Syndrome Awareness tattoo event prompted my desire to really think this one out. Even at the event I was thinking that I would wait and get a custom design. But I fell in love with one of The Lucky Few designs and couldn’t get it out of my head. The triple “V” represents the triplication of the 21st chromosome found in people with Down Syndrome. And we all know that I simply adore someone with Down Syndrome! The word LOVE was something I had considered getting for many years. Because I truly believe it’s all we really need. And the arrow symbolizes how far you can go even after difficult life experiences “pull” you back. The incorporation of all these things really hit home for me. So, after years of being indecisive. I just wasn’t … and I went for it!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you FINALLY decide!!!