Feeling nostalgic …

Sid took an early train to see her boyfriend this morning. I drove her to the train station. On my way back I opted for a different route home. I took me by California State University, Fullerton. My alma mater. One of them anyway. I didn’t realize it but this is graduation weekend. Despite being early there were many people arriving. Some walking. Many in their caps and gowns. It really took me back. I remember my graduation days from both Fullerton and California State University, Long Beach like they were yesterday. Such great days, filled with so much excitement, reflection and hope! I know I’m feeling more emotional these days with George’s high school graduation just around the corner. So I’ll just dismiss my crying watching perfect strangers cross the street.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you feel nostalgic!!!

I cried my eyes out …

I booked the restaurant for George’s graduation party.

I bought decorations for George’s graduation party.

I bought a dress for George’s graduation ceremony and party.

I looked through dorm room supply catalogs.

BIG SIGH.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you don’t cry your eyes out!!!

Six years later and still going strong … 

Today is my 6-Year Blogiversary. I can’t believe it. What started off as a few friends encouraging me to formally do something with my qwerky daily well wishes has turned into so much more. It has truly become my hope. There are days when I don’t want to find one positive thing to say about my world. But this blog has motivated me to do it anyway. It has been a gift. A very unexpected gift.

Six years ago today I set out to do a daily blog. A place to find hope for each new day. Even if it was silly or not very hope-filled, I still wanted to keep at it every day. As the years passed I often wondered what would stop this daily writing streak of mine. I didn’t know. But unfortunately I found out last Fall exactly what would stop me.

I was recovering from my second round of meningitis. At first I found myself able to blog daily even through my hospitalIzation but a terrible drug reaction set me back. WAY BACK. I was so sick I couldn’t stay awake for more then a few minutes at a time. It aggravated the pain still lurking in my head from the encephalopathy. I couldn’t stay focused and I had ringing and buzzing in my ears. I was a mess so I reluctantly decided that I wasn’t going to blog until I got better. It took 21 days before I was able to write again.

There were days early on when I didn’t miss blogging one bit. Rest and sleep was all I wanted. That made me so sad. But what made me even sadder was when I became well enough to be aware that I couldn’t keep it up. That my body and mind were not THERE yet. So I waited and thought about the many times when my little blog had pulled me through tough days. I was so grateful to have THIS THING and for the people who encouraged me to start it in the first place. And for the kind souls who actually read my blog entries. Their comments on and involvement with these penned words of mine mean the world to me. And only after having to give it all up did I realize how much this blog had become a part of me … and I missed it dearly. It wasn’t until those 21 days that I realized how important it is that we lift ourselves up EVERY SINGLE DAY. We need to force ourselves to see the good in our lives, even if we don’t want to. Whether it is written on paper, spoken out loud or a thought in our head. Finding even a shred of something we can be hopeful about will do our souls good. I have lived THIS for 6 years now, probably longer. And I can tell you that those 21 days without a conscious decision to diligently seek that hope out were some of the darkest days that I have ever known.

So when will I stop blogging again? I can honestly say that I don’t know. I’ll certainly know it when that day comes around again. But until then, I’ll just keep writing and running and hoping my way through each new day.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you celebrate that you’re still going strong!!!

Living lovingly in denial …

I absolutely love having all of my kids at home. The laughter and conversations. The loudness and busyness. Listening to them “catch up” with each other. I love it ALL! Being a parent who was only child I wanted so much so to have a home filled with lots of children. I have been blessed to live that dream.

This may sound silly, but as my kids where growing up it never occurred to me how much it would affect me when they left home to go to college. At minimum, I WAY underestimated those feelings. It has been terribly hard to be so far away from Sidney. I miss her very much when she is gone. And the worry! Let’s not even discuss THAT one! YIKES!

Anyway, I remember when Sid’s second semester of her senior year rolled around, my emotions where similar to that of a roller coaster on steroids. I was utterly shocked at myself. Even I didn’t know it could be THAT emotional, HA! And now, with G3 just a few weeks shy of graduating, I have been overwhelmed with all the same emotions. The same feelings of loss and elation all over again. I’m tearful one minute and excited the next. How is this possible?!?! Isn’t this process supposed to get easier?!?! Because it’s not, at least not for me. And that’s OK. These feelings remind me of just how blessed I am to love so deeply these wonderful beings I get to call my children. I am thankful that our close bonds have made these milestones emotionally charged. Love really does crazy things with your heart. I have written before, that as painful as this growing-up process is, I wouldn’t want it any other way. I have found no greater joy than loving my children and watching them plan to leave home to chase their dreams. It truly is beautiful.

I am so thankful that we are all together again. I know it’s not going to last very long. But for now, for the next few months while they are all home, I’m going to pretend that I don’t know that times like these will become fewer and farther between. I’m going to love them like always and relish in the joy I feel just being their mom … appreciating every precious second.

Well, I hope you all have day where you live lovingly in denial!!!

A wonderful gift …

My son, G3, received his first college acceptance letter yesterday. It was a total shocker since we were told by all the universities that we should not expect to hear anything until after the new year and as late as March. I’ll be honest, I know I’m more excited than he is! And not just for having so much to look forward to. But his really takes some pressure off of him. He knows that no matter what, he’s going to a university that he chose. A place he thought would be a good fit for him. Somewhere he could spread his wings and become the man he is dreaming of. That’s pretty darn awesome if you as me. And having him be notified earlier than we ever expected goes perfectly with this holiday season.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you were given a wonderful gift!!!

48 the GREAT …

Today is my 48th birthday. 

Every year I come up with a new birthday mantra (not to be confused with my New Year mantra, HA!). They are usually little phrases that keep me going throughout MY new year. If I can make them rhyme, all the better (I am such a nut)! They are a simple reminder of how I want to live and who I want to be.

I believe that if we are truly living, we are always changing. Constantly seeking to become a better version of ourselves. As hard as this can be, there is an inexplicable joy in the process. Each new day is a gift. A chance to do life differently. A moment in time that we can chose to begin again. Upon opening our eyes we should be flooded with feelings of hope. Life is what we make of it and we are who we decide to be each and every day.

Birthdays should not be a reminder of what we haven’t done or what we haven’t become. They should be motivators. A new starting point. The first page in the next chapter, to be written, in our lives. And we should appreciate that the story is ours to write. 

What story will you chose to tell in your next year of life?

Me?

Well … we all know I’m a bit of a dream chaser. And although I don’t know all the details of my story quite yet, I can promise myself one profound thing … it’s going to be EPIC. 

Well, I hope you all have a day where you chose to be GREAT!!!

Happy Blogiversary (I AM REALLY GLAD I DID IT) … 

Holy. Moly. Guess what today is?!?! Oh this questioning on my part never works, HA! You would think after four years (4 YEARS) I would learn. And yes, THAT is it! Today is my 4 year BLOGIVERSARY on my original Facebook blog LIVING IN LALA LAND!!! Can you believe it?!?! Another question, I just can’t quit!
Anyway, I can’t believe it’s been that long. 4 YEARS and over 1,400 blog entries later, I still remember my friends trying to convince me do to it. A daily blog to find hope in EACH NEW DAY?!?! How could I commit to such a HUGE undertaking?!?! Is it EVEN possible to do such a thing?!?! To be THAT hopeful even on days I didn’t feel that I could be. Or wanted to be! As many reservations that I initially had about starting that little daily blog, I can tell you now, that I have no regrets. It has been life changing in the most wonderful way.
I do tend to have a happier and more hopeful disposition than most people I meet (I blame my mother). However, I do have my bad days, weeks, even months! Being hopeful, especially every day, has not been easy for me. But I choose to be anyway. Do I get sad and down? Do I struggle, worry and cry? ABSOLFREAKINLUTELY. But I also, deep down, truly believe that life is magnificent. I believe that dreams come true, that nothing is impossible and that love will always prevail. I believe life, even in its’ darkest and most disappointing times, is still worth giving it a hopeful shot at WOW-ing us. And blogging helps remind me of all of that. Living in LaLa Land and Living and Running in LaLa Land have been two of life’s greatest surprises and gifts for me. Both of which I can no longer imagine my life without.
I would like to thank everyone who continues to follow me on both Facebook and WordPress. I am humbled by your commitment to me and I am inspired to write because of your tenacity to find hope in each new day. You are what keeps me committed to this hope-filled journey. Without all of you, I really couldn’t do this. Nor would I want to. Put simply, YOU have helped changed my life for the better and I am truly grateful ❤️
So cheers to another blogging year in the books and to the hope of many more to come …
Well, I hope you all have a day where you are REALLY glad you did it!!!