I am not invincible. 2016 beat that into me more times than I can count. There were attacks on my family, health issues, loss of relationships, and a roller coasters of change. I’m not saying that 2016 didn’t have quite a few high points, it did. Blessings were abundant. And I am thankful that most of the issues that presented themselves were resolved. I just needed to weather the storm. Lots of them actually. And those storms were pretty darn rough.
Despite having felt vulnerable, broken, weak, disappointed and scared, I am somehow ending this year with my spirt intact. There were MANY moments when I didn’t think I’d ever feel like myself again emotionally. Physically, I’m getting there and I know in my heart that I will be completely restored in this area too. I really couldn’t be more grateful.
It took me a while to emerge from the darkness of 2016 but when I finally did I felt something wash over me. I’ve always been a pretty cautious person and planned as much as I could throughout my life. But after a lot of soul searching and reflecting on 2016 events I realized that without some serious guts … I will never have any glory. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want fame or any craziness like that. But I do want to achieve some pretty lofty personal goals. And without some bold moves, they aren’t ever going to happen. I see that now. Worry and overly cautious behavior has no place in my life now. None.
I’m not a big resolution maker. But I do love new beginnings and the coming of the new year is exciting to me. As I’ve written before, I like to come up with a New Year mantra. They motivate me and remind me of what is important to my heart.
So after all I’ve survived in 2016 I think it’s time to dig deep and find out what I’m really made of. I’ll use the strength and tenacity that I found this year to make 2017 exactly what I want it to be. Maybe even more. I won’t back down. I will be brave and courageous despite what life throws at me. I’ll also add an element to all this that I’ve never added before. Something that grew out of pain, stubbornness, feeling fed up and being totally OVER IT. Yes, last year broke me … but God gave me the ability and the time to not stay that way. And I don’t plan on taking any of it for granted or wasting one second of my restoration. I will always be grateful for the defeat I felt in 2016, because in those moments of complete and utter brokenness I became a little more edgy, daring and determined. A combination I can’t wait to put into action.
Well, I hope you all have a YEAR where you become FEARLESS!!!
Reese loves music. She loves to sing and dance. And I LOVE to watch her. I’m just a puddle of mommy goo hearing her sing her little heart out and seeing her twirl across the floor. She’s precious!
Well, I hope you all have a day where your heart is melted!!!
I perceive a lot of my world through my feelings. I know many people would say that’s not always good because I can be wrong in how I perceive things. But I am never wrong. NEVER. And I need to remember that.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you listen to your intuition!!!
Today is not a normal run day for me, but I ran anyway. I woke up so grateful for my health that I just had to run. I know that non-runners will probably not understand this at all. I will admit, it sounds a little crazy to me too, HA! But it’s where I’m at and I just had to run.
I ran because I can. Because I truly love it. I ran because there were many times over the past few months when I couldn’t run and I was plagued with thoughts that I may never be able to run again. Running is so personal to me and without it I felt lost. I’ve been through a lot in my life, but the thought of losing that part of ME almost broke me.
I am not completely restored but I’m getting there. I still battle fatigue and have issues with my back from the lumbar puncture, but I honestly couldn’t be happier with my progress. When I woke this morning and laid in my bed I was contemplating whether a run was in my best interest. My miles aren’t high so I took the chance and promised myself I’d keep it an easy run. As a distance runner you can face many runs that are unpleasant. This run was perfect. Not because it was long or because I was fast. Neither of those things happened today. It was because with every footstep against the pavement I felt alive.
Starting over is never easy. Specially talking running, it is without a doubt, humbling. But it reminds me of how far I’ve come since the first day I took a chance to run again all those years ago. Today I can say it was worth the struggle. And I know it will be this time too.
As I came to the last half mile of my run I thanked God for brining me through another tough time. I’m still trying to make sense of all of it, but I’ve found peace in it too. Things happen, sometimes just to bring you back to another new beginning. And that’s OK by me.
As I neared my home the shuffle on my playlist switched to a new song. It instantly made me smile. It was the first song that I ran to when I starting running with music. Dancing Queen by ABBA. It was perfect timing to say the least. No, I am not 17 anymore and I hardly dance anymore either. But I do run and I do plan on “having the time of my life” finding myself again.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you get to do what you love!!!
I have gel nails. I mention this only because I need to get a new set and they are literally driving me crazy. I truly believe that they are the best fit for my nail needs, but holy moly, at some point they grow out enough to kinda snag on things. Yikes. I file them and buff them, but as they “age” they lift-ish. It feels soooo weird and awful. And if my nails touch something in just the right (or wrong) way, I get the heebie geebies. Yet, I go back for more.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you aren’t creeped out!!!
Today I set up my new phone. And it was harder than grad school. All three years combined. Thesis included.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you don’t feel schooled!!!
Merry Christmas everyone! May this day be a glorious celebration for each and everyone of you.
“For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.”~Luke 2:11
Well, I hope you all have a day where you celebrate our Savior’s birth!!!
From the bottom of my heart I am hoping that each of you find yourselves in good health and in the presence of those who matter most to you today. I pray that you also feel safe and truly loved. Life just doesn’t get much better than that.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you have a Merry Christmas Eve!!!
Eminem, Dr. Dre, Tupac, Jay Z and me. Guess what I’m doing today.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you are a (w)rapper!!!
It’s raining. It has been for the past day. I usually don’t like the rain unless I’m inside. It’s nice to watch, but I don’t ever really want it to touch me, HA! For some reason this rain has been unusually pleasant for me. Perhaps it’s that I feel like this type of weather goes along with Christmas. I’m not sure. But it’s cozy. And I actually don’t mind being out in it. Living in Southern California I know that the rain will soon be gone. Until then, I’ll just appreciate it and allow it to make our holidays feel … um … more holiday-ier.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you enjoy it while you can!!!