Come and go …

I am not sure why but I woke up this morning thinking about relationships. I feel extremely blessed to share my life with so many good souls. Even the ones with whom I no longer have contact. I guess those are the people that I thought of the most today. Strangely, no one specific, just the idea that people don’t always stay emotionally close to you. And that’s OK. Sometimes this happens because of bad situations. YUCK. And yet other times it happens because life changes and time passes. Whatever the situation may have been I remain grateful for their influence on me and the lessons (good or bad) that they taught me. Why?!?! Because if, at one time, they were one of “my people” then I saw something special in them … and I am truly thankful that they shared it with me.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you appreciate the ones who come and go!!!

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It’s a wonderful world …

We have spent the past few days along the California Coast and we plan on seeing a whole lot more of it before we head home. It’s been exciting to see new things and to share new experiences with my children. I have told them since birth, to appreciate moments not things. I have shown them that sharing time with the people they love and adventuring with them will bring them more joy than any material treasure ever will. And I have taught them that this planet we call home will give them the opportunity for those moments and that joy, if they just take the time to explore it.

Well, I hope you all had a day where you got to experience our wonderful world!!!

Special …

Last night Sid, George and Libs (my three oldest children) took me to see Imagine Dragons at The Forum. It was incredible! I LOVE Imagine Dragons but it didn’t occur to me until last night how many songs of theirs I actually run to. HA! I guess their songs really speak to me. And they certainly got me up and dancing last night. The performance itself was absolutely phenomenal. The band really puts on quite a show visually and sends some beautiful and authentic messages throughout about acceptance, suicide, depression and mental health just to name a few. And if you thought Dan Reynolds’ voice is powerful when you hear it on your earbuds, JUST WAIT, until you hear it live. WHOA! I am no expert but I will tell you that this man can sing!

But what I loved most about last night, is who I got to share it with. My kids. They started planning this 50th birthday celebration for me a long time ago. The effort it took to pull it all off and to keep it a secret from me until my actual birthday took a village. They certainly surprised the heck out of me and made me feel loved. I know I say this a lot but I really do have the greatest kids in the world.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you feel special!!!

Love and gratitude …

I’m feeling incredibly grateful for the good people in my life. Along with these souls I am thankful that many of us are being blessed with some incredible opportunities and experiences that really speak to our hearts. How awesome is that?!?! It feels wonderful to see the people who mean the world to me be so happy and it’s delightful to get to celebrate right along with them. It certainly fills my heart with all the best feels!

Well, I hope you have a day where your heart is filled with love and gratitude!!!

Still JOYFUL …

Every year I come up with a new birthday mantra. A short personal saying that I believe will help me shape the next year of my life. Some years they come quickly to me. Other years they take a bit of time and reflection. This was definitely one of those years that required some thought. And I’ll tell you why.

I don’t think that one simple saying can ever describe how grateful I am to turn 50 years old today. I honestly want to scream it from the roof tops that I MADE IT! There were years that I was skeptical because of my family history. And moments, when my personal health seemed grim, my pain was unbearable and I felt so ill, that I made peace with death. Trust me folks, encephalopathy is no joke. I’ve been in that ugly place where I had to face my own mortality. I have had to surrender to what was happening to me because I was too weak to do anything more. But I have also felt God’s beautiful grace when He blessed me with full healing. TWICE. I know not everyone is that “lucky”. But for some reason I was. I was given more time to live life with the people that I love … and I simply couldn’t be more thankful. Again, “thankful” just doesn’t seem like enough. There is no word that even comes close to describe how it feels to be HERE. To breath, to laugh, to love and to LIVE in this moment is just about the best feeling I have ever known. And I am not going to waste one second of it. No way. No how. God gave me THIS. My life. My story. My miracle. And not being able to describe how I feel about all of this is incredible. I am 50 and life still leaves me speechless. It can still completely consume me with emotion leaving me with no other choice than to just be IN IT and FEEL IT. And if that isn’t the best gift EVER, I just don’t know what is.

So, I guess that leaves me with only one choice for my new birthday mantra. This year I will continue to do what I have always done, to try to see the best in everyone and in every situation. I will continue to carry hope in my heart. And I will celebrate every season, the good and the bad, that I am blessed to experience. Because I know that life is precious. Very, very precious. Every. Single. Moment.

Well, I hope you all have a year where you are STILL JOYFUL!!!

Happily growing older …

Yesterday I found myself explaining how elated I am to be turning 50. I know that may sound absolutely crazy to a lot people, but if you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m not like most people. I’ve never been one to focus on my age. I’ve actually spent most of my life focused on my mortality. Having a mom who died in her mid forties after battling breast cancer twice taught me that life isn’t so much about longevity as it is the quality of time you have here. But it also scared me A LOT. I honestly never new if I would make it to see 50 especially dealing with meningitis … twice. OY. But despite it all, here I am. Healthy. Fit. And feeling quite blessed. I am honestly surprised I made it, HA! So how can I be anything less that overjoyed? I’m surrounded by incredible friends and family and I’ve been given the most wonderful children in the world. And God has graciously given me more time to share with them than I ever expected.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you are happily growing older!!!

Loved and needed …

Having four children, and one with special needs, comes with an incredible amount of responsibility. Even with two adult children now, life can often seem like it’s pulling me in every direction possible. Maybe even in some directions not yet discovered by scientists and mathematicians, HA! I am constantly doing something for someone or planning something that needs to be (or someone wants to be) done. I am their GO-TO person for problem-solving and … cash. HA, again! We share long talks late at night and I receive ugly early morning wake up calls. I have event alerts on my phone for us along with calendars (TWO) posted in our kitchen to keep us organized. Every night I review my To-Do List for the next day. It is usually filled with things that they need help with. I am available 24 hours a day 7 days a week for them. Until I die. And even then, l’m sure that I’ll figure out a way to still stay involved. HA, again again!

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am NOT complaining. Actually, I feel like I’m bragging.

Why?

Because my kids are incredible human beings. They are thoughtful, kind, loving, responsible and driven. And they LOVE and NEED me. To be LOVED is wonderful. To be NEEDED magnifies love 10-fold. Heck, 1,000,000-fold. Is that even a thing?!?! Regardless, my heart is full. My life is blessed, SO BLESSED, because of these humans who I love beyond measure. It may sound exhausting, and honestly some days it is, but I wouldn’t trade this life with them for anything. I love that they still need me. That they choose to make me THAT person. Because really, they don’t have to. They can turn to friends and other family members who would be there for them just as readily as I am. But they go to me. Their mom. And well, I don’t think there has ever been anything in my life that has been quite so rewarding and humbling. I thank God every day for them and the privilege of being their mom. And all the duties and responsibilities that go with it and that I take on. It’s an honor. Truly.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you feel LOVED and NEEDED!!!