Tapping back in …

Sooooo … I have a race on Sunday. I haven’t raced since last July and that was just for fun when I was in Alaska with friends. Sunday will be fun too but it’s also me officially starting to race seriously again. It is both scary and exciting. Getting sick messed with my mind, body and soul. I’ve slowly crept out of the funk it put me in and I feel like I’m finally owning that my heart is vested in my dreams again. I’m a LONG way off from achieving them. Trust me, Sunday’s race will be slow and steady to the finish. No where near my old finishing times. But you know what? I am going to appreciate every single second of it because those footsteps are the beginning of me believing in myself again.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you tap back in!!!

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Hell hath no fury like a runner disappointed in themselves …

I did my long run yesterday … and it was horrific. I was looking forward to it and had no reservations about getting it done, but it got ugly. REAL UGLY.

The first six miles were fine. Completely uneventful. But by mile 8 I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. The miles that followed were even worse. The word NASTY describes it about as good as “ice cube” describes an iceberg. Yep, it was THAT BAD. It was honestly one of the toughest training runs I’ve ever had. Don’t get me wrong I have experienced these awful miles before. Some runs just SUCK. And this one SUCKED HUGE.

But as much as I loathe these trying runs, I have also grown to appreciate them. Not at the time, of course! At the time I’m too wrapped up in the misery to see anything good. I wonder why I continue to subject myself to the disappointment. I wonder if my body was ever meant for distance. I berate myself with all sorts of negatives! The appreciation I have for tough runs comes later when I realize that I can suffer greatly and still somehow manage to survive. There is something in this realization that gives me strength. Knowing that I can push myself mind, body and soul is empowering. It’s hell, but it’s empowering!

Thankfully by the next day, the memory of my terrible run fades and I begin to think about my next long run. One that I envision will be better. WAY BETTER. The best part of this is that my mind believes it’s possible. Somehow my feelings of defeat morph into determination. FIERCE determination! And it gets me back out there, HAPPILY, week after grueling training week. To try to explain this roller coaster of emotions and self-inflicted physical torment sounds insane even to me. But I guess that’s why they say runners are crazy, HA!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you can’t wait to do it all over again!!!

Up and at it at undead hours …

I woke up at 4 a.m. today. I was WIDE awake but I decided to stay in bed until it was an acceptable hour to run. I’ve mentioned before that my neighborhood wakes fairly early. I am often the first one out there, but it’s usually within a few minutes of running that “Good Mornings” are exchanged with neighbors who are also out starting their day. Four in the morning, however, is pushing it. As understanding and supportive my neighbors may be of my running and training, no one wants their light sensors triggered and dogs barking that early. Unless of course it was a real threat of vampires and werewolves in the area, HA!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you are up and at it at undead hours!!!

I avoided the waddle …

We have had freakishly cold weather for Southern California. When I went out to run this morning at 5am it was 35 degrees. Needless to say I decided to wait. I didn’t think it would be possible for me to run in the amount of clothes I would need to wear to keep warm. The layers would be endless. Like an onion. Well, I guess I could run like that, but I don’t think it would look much like running … but it would be down right hilarious.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you don’t waddle!!!

Born free …

Running in the wind is hard. Running in the wind and heat is even harder. But there is something primal about it. It’s got to be the closest feeling I’ll ever have that mimics an animal running in the wild. I might look more like a chihuahua running across a gated dog park. But I sure feel like a cheetah running top speed in the African grasslands!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you feel BORN FREE!!!