Today is one of those days when I’m not sure one of me is enough. Yesterday round two of cold and flu season hit our home. Sid and Reese are both sick with fevers again. And these fevers are MUCH higher than the first time around. Ugh. This makes week FOUR of someone being sick here. Heck, I’m still not myself and it’s been almost two weeks since I first got sick. This YUCK lingers! On top of two girls down, George is getting his wisdom teeth pulled today. I got out of bed incredibly early to make sure he ate a huge breakfast since he can’t eat 8 hours before his surgery. I know he’s 18 now and could have made his own breakfast but he’s still my son. Moms lose it a little when it comes to the words CHILD and SURGERY. Well, at least I do. So needless to say I made him breakfast. Which was fine because I was awake anyway. I was up most of the night with Reese who was extremely restless. I was happy though, I was finally able to fall asleep for about an hour. YAY! Then it was time to wake up to do Libs’ hair for choir portraits today. She had to be at school early today. Of course she did. OY. But somehow I managed to get her to school UNUSUALLY early with her backpack, tennis bag, choir dress and hair and makeup done. Nothing forgotten! A miracle, if I do say so myself.
At some point today I’m going to cry. I just know it. My guess is when they take George back to have his teeth removed. I’ll have a moment alone and a second to breath. Let’s just hope it’s more tearful rather than blubber-y.
Clearly most of this crazy day piled up by no fault of my own. I scheduled George’s surgery months ago and we just found out about the portraits. And SICK happens whenever it happens. My friends and I joke that when I have a stressful day it’s not like everyone else’s normal scoop of stress. It’s got extra toppings, HA!
Days like this I am in awe that God trusts me so much. When I look in the mirror I see just one small woman. But God has put some major love, tenacity and determination into this little frame of mine. He’s packed me with everything I need to get through days like this. And I’m grateful. So, so grateful.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you feel like SUPERMOM!!!
I’ve mentioned before that Reese’s biggest delay is in her oral motor development. One significant issue we have is that she doesn’t chew. Despite years of therapy and trying to teach her how nothing has “turned-on” that ability for her. Nothing. And no amounting of testing, evaluations and specialists can tell us why. So I purée, mash and grind all her food. She’s a great eater but she is choking hazard. And that’s just scary. Really, really scary.
As a parent, you do what you have to do. Therapy, puréeing, whatever. If your child has a special need, you just meet it. You change and do what you have to do to help your child thrive. The changes soon become part of your daily activities and a part of your normal routine. But in addition to these adaptions a slow disappearance of hope occurs too. You start to forget what you had originally wanted for your child. You mourn and move on.
Until this morning I wasn’t even aware of the amount of hope I had lost in this area of Reese’s development. We have adapted well to her limits and her nutritional needs are met quiet well if I do say so myself. Let’s be honest, it was no coincidence that I chose to become a certified nutrition and wellness consultant. I’ve always loved nutrition but my Reese was a huge motivator for me to get my certification.
Anyway, I say that I “realized” all this this morning because twice today Reese picked up 1/4 size pieces of Trader Joe’s Os and put them in her mouth. She needed help getting them to her molars to “chew” them but she totally got the concept. WHOA. This is HUGE.
And IT all came flooding back to me. The hope and dreams I have for my little girl.
Perhaps I’m being selfish but I also want those things for me too. Simple things that parents don’t think twice about are things that Reese and I have never experienced together. I have never seen my daughter delight in eating her birthday cake. I have never seen a smile come across her face when she was given her favorite cookie. And I’ve never not worried that she would choke if I wasn’t there to meticulously monitor her food intake. Yes, I selfishly want all that … for her.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you are given a glimmer of hope!!!
When I look back at all the changes that have happened over the past year I almost can’t believe it. Sid graduating, starting college and moving away. G3 starting to drive and getting ready for his senior year. All his volunteer work. Our “College Tour Palooza”. Libs and her busy social life. All of her performances and all the hard work she put in for her video production class. Her acceptance into the Digital Media Arts Academy that she will begin next year when she starts high school. And my precious Ree. She started kindergarden and became the most adorable yogi EVER. She made huge developmental strides despite being sick off and on for so long. She has grown into the most delightful and loving little girl. And she discovered Barbie, HA! And let’s not forget Reese’s and Sid’s surgeries.
Wow. What a year this crew has had.
It wasn’t all good, but it certainly wasn’t all bad. It was just different. A year marked with growth and change. Struggles and victories. Gains and losses. It was life … and living.
As this school year comes to a close I can’t help but think of what is to come. Undoubtedly more change. My children are getting older. My baby will be 7. That is a hard one to swallow. But I am in awe of this life we have made. Of the years that have passed so sneakily. I remember like it was yesterday being pregnant with each of them. Feeling their movement in my belly. Time flies. But that’s OKAY, because our time together, although not always perfect, has been perfectly us.
My heart cannot contain the amount of love I have for my children. No words can adequately describe it. And I am so thankful that I absolutely adore who they have all become. I am truly blessed to have been chosen to be their mother. To walk through life with them is simply my greatest joy.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you appreciate the ones you love!!!