It never gets easier …

Sid left to go back to school today. BIG sigh. I know she will be home for Christmas in less than three weeks, but it still made me sad to put her on that plane. BIG sigh … again. I wonder if this ever feels good? If it ever comes naturally? Or if it ever stops feeling so awful? 

Well, I hope you all have a day where it gets easier!!!

Time flies when you are having fun …

I can’t believe how fast the past 10 days passed by. They were utterly enjoyable. It was time spent with family and friends, in various stages of celebration. Life isn’t always this pleasant, so I really try to appreciate every moment of stretches like this. I also try to not be sad knowing that they are about to end. BIG sigh. 

Well, I hope you all have a day where time flies when you are having fun!!!

Family Fun …

I. Am. So. Excited! Today we are headed to see The Good Dinosaur at Disney’s El Capitan Theatre in Hollywood. Then we are having dinner at my favorite childhood pizza place! Oh. My. Goodness!





AND the people I love MOST.

Does it get any better than this?!?!
Well, I hope you all have a day where you have some family fun!!!

A great Black Friday …

I am comfy cozy at home with my family, drinking my tea after a long day (15 hours to be exact) enjoying our traditional Black Friday shopping day. We have the best time every year. It’s one of those days I can pretty much guarantee I will be spending most of it laughing. It is truly one of my favorite family traditions. We are usually pretty sleep deprived Black Friday and as the hours pass we get quite kooky. Perhaps that’s what adds to all the funny that’s found throughout our day. And by the end of the day, I can tell you that absolutely nothing feels better than having a nice warm shower and passing out on the couch. Yep, from beginning to end, this is one of my most favorite days of the year.

Well, I hope you all had a great day!!!

Complete …

Sid came home from college today. I can’t believe how good it feels to have her back. My heart and soul are at peace. This is how my life feels most right. We are all together again and I feel a sense of relief.

THEY say that when you have children they become a physical extension of you. That your heart is literally walking around outside of your body. I agree, that this is spot on. I have not felt right since the day we left Sidney at school in August. I have missed her. I have felt “off” and like things are not the way they should be. It’s like a piece of me went missing.

I’ve been told that over time, these feelings get better. That their absence gets more tolerable. That life between their visits becomes more normal as the years pass. And although I see glimpses of this now, I am in no way near living in that state full time. I miss my daughter horribly. Every. Single. Day.

Trust be told, I’m OK never accepting that life as we knew it is no longer. Why? Because relationships this powerful deserve the respect of our true feelings. Loving so genuinely comes with a process, and on some levels that means feeling grief. Grief is something I learned to make peace with long ago. And in this particular situation, I find comfort in knowing that my grief stems from something wonderful. My baby girl, out there, chasing her dreams and becoming the woman she wants to be. There is a beauty in that. It makes her absence acceptable. Understandable. And as a mother, it is everything I could ever want for her.

That being said, today, with her here, all is right in my world. Balance has been restored. That part of me that was missing has been found. I feel whole again. And I simply couldn’t be happier.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you feel complete!!!

I enjoyed the heck out of it …

We had a busy fun day today! I did some last minute prep around the house for our Thanksgiving Day extravaganza. Then I headed out with Libs and Ree for some shopping at the mall. We came home, made dinner and baked cookies. A LOT  of cookies! Later we delivered cookie boxes to our neighbors and then FaceTimed Sidney at school. The weather started changing as the day wore on too. It officially FEELS like the holidays to me. And I love it! It is such a wonderful warm feeling. The energy it resonates is fantastic. And today was pretty darn close to perfect.

Well, I hope you all had a day that you enjoyed the heck out of!!!

Unkinked …

It is always a priority, if not a necessity, of mine to make it to a yoga class within a day or two of a race or long run. I tend to be pretty knotted up but the time the class rolls around. My shoulders and back usually ache. And of course, my legs and hips are tight and stiff. I am pretty sure I could pass for Frankenstein’s sister if you saw us walking side by side, HA! I can’t even fathom what others in my class think of me and the mess that I bring in. I’m thinking whimpering mannequin is a pretty accurate guess. Yikes. But boy oh boy, after going to class I feel like a different woman. Ahhhh, the relief!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you get unkinked!!!

Knocked out …

I’m sure that it probably goes against all scientific data out there about sleep, but Candy Crush exhausts me. I know playing games on my phone before bed is supposed to have some stimulant effect on my brain, but it doesn’t. Not by a long shot. In fact, it puts me to sleep. FAST!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you are knocked out!!!

Still dreaming BIG … 

Today I ran the USA Half Marathon Invitational in San Diego. It is my last race of 2015, a year that I won’t soon forget. Good and bad, it was memorable to say the least! I am thankful for my new half marathon personal best that I earned in June. Which will never cease to amaze me at my age. SHOCKING is a better word for it, HA! But this year really wasn’t about personal bests for me, that would be too simple. This year’s running lessons were much deeper than that. These lessons were about hope and potential. It was about choosing to still believe in myself even when things seemed pretty grim. It was about taking chances and, most importantly, not allowing fear to dictate my decisions.

I admit that I was scared out there today. I was scared for a lot of reasons. Fear of being swept (there were multiple points on the course where, if you weren’t fast enough, they would have pulled you off the course). Which came from my fear of re-injuring my foot. And that lead to my fear of failure. Fear. Fear. Fear. BLAH. Being that my FEAR FEST all stemmed from worrying about getting hurt again, I decided I would face it head on. I told myself to just run. To run as fast as I could for as long as I could. And IF I got hurt again … well … then they (my doctors) would just have to fix me again. Seems a little crazy, but I didn’t want fear to stop me from enjoying this race. I earned my right to be there and I wanted my last race of the year to reflect my spirit, my hope in what could be. Scratch that … my hope in knowing what one day, WILL BE.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you choose to keep dreaming BIG!!!