Hope …

We cannot touch it. But we can certainly feel it. It’s lighter than air. But it keeps us rooted in our dreams. It cannot be contained. Yet we cling to it.

Well, I hope you all have a day filled with HOPE!!!

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Happy New Year’s Eve…

Here we are. The last day of 2018. We made it! I am looking back fondly and looking forward hopefully. I wish you all a safe day celebrating!

Well, I hope you all have a Happy New Year’s Eve!!!

Happy and hopeful …

Pleasant and positive people should not have to deal with unpleasant and yucky people, ESPECIALLY first thing in the morning. THIS should not have to be a THING. Good Lordy, life is hard for ALL of us but some people look at it as an excuse and opportunity to be a bad human. Well, I am here to tell you that NO, THAT IS NOT OK. I usually do my best to avoid these types of people, but unfortunately sometimes encounters with them are unavoidable. Ew. If this is the case, I just try to do my best to deal with the situation, knowing that it is temporary. THANK GOD. I am grateful that these interactions don’t change me or impact my day negatively. I tend to bounce back pretty fast knowing that my life, despite its difficulties, is still blessed in great and humbling ways. Negative people do not have the ability to alter my thankfulness nor can they take away my happiness and positivity. For some wonderful reason, those things tend to come naturally for me for the most part. And when they don’t, I fight like heck to get back there … because honestly, who would want negativity to be the central point from which they perceived their life?!?! Certainly, NOT ME.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you remain happy and hopeful!!!

Wide awake …

Before getting sick I was an early riser. No, I mean REALLY early. I woke up before my alarm usually about 5 am, easy peasy. And FULL of energy. That has NOT been the case for 16 months now. Don’t get me wrong, the nagging fatigue is gone. THANK GOD. But waking up is a whole different ballgame for me now. I wake up groggy. No more bouncing out of bed. You’d think I’d be used to it by now. NOPE. After decades of being one way, you don’t forget it … NOT EVER. Anyway, that being said, I’m INCREDIBLY thankful for the recovery I’ve had thus far and for all the neurological bullets I dodged. I just recently had a physical and my doctor told me again how lucky I was to have had no lingering issues from the encephalopathy. She also seemed very hopeful that I’m going to one day feel FULLY like myself again. Needless to say I left that appointment feeling GREAT!

When you are in the midst of recovery and healing you don’t always feel or see the progress you have made. I can now that so much time has passed but some things still really bother me. Like the difficulty I have waking up. It’s incredibly frustrating to say the least. But as soon as I get frustrated I remind myself of how far I have come and of what could have been (EEEEK). And now I have the words my doctor said to me. I’m going to CLING to her hopefulness. And let life unfold.

This morning I received a little gift. I woke up at 4 am. All on my own. And feeling like me again. This has happened a few times now. I have learned that these mornings don’t last. Tomorrow or the next day will likely be a different story. But that’s OK. I enjoy having a glimpse of the old me. No matter how fleeting these mornings may be I couldn’t be more grateful to still have them.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you are WIDE AWAKE!!!

Hopeful …

For most of my adult life if you were to ask me what the greatest mistake I could ever make was, I’d say it would be not fully appreciating my life. Seriously, THIS is my greatest fear. Perhaps it came from losing my mom when she and I were both so young, but that thought really bothers me. Our days may be long but our years are definitely short. For some, those years are even shorter. In my early twenties I made a decision that I wasn’t going to take one day for granted. I made it a goal to find happiness in each new day no matter what trials I faced. And I promised myself that I would relish every joyful moment I was given. I refused to live with regret or worry being the theme of my life. These choices have served me well. But I will admit, it takes a whole lotta work. It doesn’t always come easy, but this “habit” of mine is worth it.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you are hopeful!!!

What if …

I realized something about myself today. I have grown to have very little patience for people who are major doom and gloom-ers. I don’t mean people who are negative at times or even people who are pessimistic by nature. I mean people who go to extreme awful places in their thoughts and decide to share them with me to drive their point home. Like somehow recruiting me into their “kooky” is going to benefit anyone. These are people who make situations worse, not better. And they attempt disguise their thoughts as helpful or precautionary. Um. No. No they are not. Don’t get me wrong. I find worrying and anxiety to be beneficial at times. They get us thinking and help call us to action. But unwarranted worry is not helpful. It’s hurtful. And it’s exhausting. To watch someone engage in this type of behavior is downright unpleasant.

I have written before that I used to be a worrier in my early 20s. I worry now, but differently. It’s far more discerning than it was when I was younger. If I worry it’s got meaning. I also believe that my optimism has won out over fear. It takes precedence in even the most unpleasant situations I face. I somehow always manage to find some room for hope. I like that about myself. I like that life and its’ mishaps haven’t made me bitter or worrisome. Life is not easy. Heck, it can me down right awful at times! But I figure I’ve come this far without losing my hope and without assuming the worse. I don’t think I’ll be changing anytime soon. So the doom and gloom-ers can steer clear of me. I’ve got better things to do. Like deal with reality. Happily and hopefully.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you don’t dwell on WHAT IF!!!

Head in the clouds …

I’ve always been a dreamer. I think it is one of my biggest flaws and one of my greatest blessings. Even when I was a young woman filled with anxiety I still managed to dream BIG. Now that I’m older many of my anxieties have fallen by the wayside which leaves lots of room for dreaming. I think that by allowing myself to dream I have had a better stronghold on hope. It really has worked for me in just about every situation I’ve been in. Even the really ugly ones. I think the ability to dream has also allowed me to maintain a certain measure of flexibility in my thoughts. If one thing doesn’t work out exactly the way I had hoped it can be easily modified. My thinking can be changed, and before I even realize it a new dream is in place. Some things have to change to bring us to the right place in our lives or to help us reach our goals, right?!?! From the bottom of my heart I believe that both God and the universe direct me in the way I need to go. I find so much comfort in that. Rigidity definitely has no place in this dreamer’s life. With all the twists and turns my life has taken I think rigidity would have been the end of my happiness. My soul would have deflated like a balloon decades ago. My spirit would have been crushed. Dreaming has kept me happy and hopeful. So … I guess I’ll just stick with it.

Well, I hope you all have a day where your head is in the clouds!!!