About three and a half years ago I started my blog page on Facebook called Living in LaLa Land. I was encouraged by a group of friends to start a blog. Those nutty peeps thought I had an uncanny gift for finding hope in each new day, HA! I would often (OK fine, daily) post about my life’s little mishaps and then I’d somehow flip it to a positive hope. I don’t even know how I started doing it. Or why. It just sort of happened … naturally.
It took my friends about 6 months of convincing but I finally decided to do it. I hesitated because I really wasn’t sure I could keep it up. Could I really keep finding hope in every new day I faced??? Well, I decided that giving it a try certainly couldn’t hurt … and so, I did.
I have to say that after almost 1000 posts later, I think I’ve succeeded. It also turned into one if the biggest gifts I could have ever given myself. You see, it forced me to keep seeing the positive, no matter how small it may be, even when I didn’t want to.
It REALLY hasn’t always been easy either.
To think that I’m just THAT happy would be a mistake. Yes, I am a very happy person. Self admittedly, probably more than most. But I certainly have my days. Putting myself in a situation to consistently look for hope, even in a poopy day, is no easy task. LET ME TELL YOU!
I have struggled through many days in the past three and half years. There are days that I had spent in tears. Some, have have been very dark and scary. I have felt alone and lonely. I have experienced loss and pain and devastation … just like everyone else. Yes, some I blog about … but many others … I don’t.
There are days when the last thing I want to do is to find some kind of hope in the mess I call my life … but for some reason, that commitment that I took alll those years ago, actually means something to me.
Darn it, I WANT TO FIND HOPE IN EACH NEW DAY … even if all I really want to do is bury myself like a mole under my blankets. Oddly I have found through all of these posts that I can actually do both! I can find some hope AND be buried under all those blankets like a mole… whoda thunk!?!?
So … here I am. Today. Having one of those days. Where I just felt … BLAH. Where I felt run down and sad. Where I missed people I loved. Where I wished for things I knew I could never bring back or have. Where I cried and just felt lousy.
But … here I am. Trying to find hope. Here … yet, again.
Well, I hope you all had a day where you found a little bit of hope, in a very special place, even when you didn’t want to!!!