About 10 years ago I reconnected with my mother’s boyfriend from long ago. And yesterday was the first time I had seen him in over 27 years. We managed to carve out some precious time to spend together. He also brought one of his daughters and his son, some of my earliest childhood friends. And it was incredible. With my mother having passed away so long ago and not having any siblings many of the memories I have of this time period I have kept to myself. Sure I’ve mentioned my early childhood, but most of the details we kept hidden away in my heart and mind.
I’m not sure if I could ever put into words what it felt like reliving those memories with the people I actually made them with. To have those things in common with others, after all this time, was surreal. My mom’s ability to make ridiculous amounts of Italian meatballs. Our camping trips in the snow. Feeding chipmunks in the forest. Jumping off the rocks into the water at Kings Canyon. Hiking. The pillow that my mom sat on to see over the steering wheel of her first car. Riding our bikes to the candy store. Our lemonade stands. Crawling out of our second story window and watching fireworks on our roof. The reason I HATE watermelon. All of it, I hadn’t thought about, let alone talked about, in YEARS.
I feel so connected to my past now. Like it was somehow validated as real and it’s no longer dreamlike. Sadly, I didn’t even know it was all starting to feel that way. When I found the quote below by Lois Lowry from The Giver, I was blown away. Memories DO need to be shared. I feel a genuine sense of peace about this whole experience. It’s like I got relief from something that I didn’t even know was upsetting to me. I may never know why God chose this exact time in my life for all of this to happen, but I guess I really needed it because it all feels pretty darn good. And I’m thankful. Very, very, thankful.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you no longer walk down memory lane alone!!!
My heart is always full of gratitude and respect for every serviceman and servicewoman, past and present. Today is a day set aside to honor those soldiers who lost their lives serving our country and protecting its’ citizens. I am humbled by their sacrifice and my heart also aches for their loved ones. I pray that they can find peace in their loss and that are comforted by millions of heartfelt thanks.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you honor a hero!!!
I am heading into this Mother’s Day weekend feeling pretty good so I want to write all of this now. It’s always unknown how the actual day will hit me. I can feel fine going to sleep the night before Mother’s Day and then BAM a blanket of sadness is there in the morning. But right now I feel overwhelmingly blessed and I want to stay focused on what I have, not on what I have lost. I truly have SO much to be thankful for. I’m thankful because I am a mom with the best kids in the world. I am thankful that I have been allowed to share so much of their lives with them. I am thankful I have watched almost three of them now grow to be adults. I absolutely LOVE watching them chase their dreams! And I am thankful that God entrusted me with Reese. I think I needed her just as much as she needed me. Of all the things that I have become in my life, MOTHER, is my favorite. Yes, I lost my mom, and that still hurts after 25 years. But being a mom has healed me so much and has eased my grief in a way that nothing else can. So, I want to give a BIG shout out to Sid, George, Libby and Reese (and, of course, Trevor Sid’s boyfriend too). Thank you. Thank you for taking the broken parts of me and putting me back together again. Thank you for understanding my grief and helping me grow through it. Thank you for readily seeing and honoring grandma’s legacy that has been weaved into each of your lives. You are truly my greatest joy. You are the reason I smile so much and why I laugh so hard. You are my hopes and dreams come true. I couldn’t possibly be me, without all of you. And there is absolutely nothing in this world that I love more than all of you!
Well, I hope you all have a day where you feel thankful, grateful and blessed!!!
Yesterday Reese participated in the Special Olympics Regional Games Track and Field events. This is her second year as an Special Olympics athlete. I can’t imagine that there will ever come a time when I’ll get used to how incredible these events are. If you have ever questioned the value of Special Olympics, I encourage you to attend. The joy and pride I have seen on these athletes faces is absolutely life changing. These are the REALEST of moments and the most GENUINENESS of feelings I have ever witnessed. I can’t help but be moved to tears by this level of beautiful humanness. Thank you Special Olympics! To encourage, to help and to give another human being the opportunity to DO and ACCOMPLISH great things, is nothing less than heroic.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you are grateful to be a part of something special!!!
Today my son George officially found out that he will be studying abroad his next school year. He will be heading to Germany, and he will be leaving sometime this summer and he will be returning in late Spring 2020. When he sent me a copy of his acceptance letter I literally stopped and wept. My son’s dream came true. And it’s absolutely beautiful. As much as I struggle with the changes that have come with having adult children and the directions we have all been pulled, I can’t help but feel overjoyed. I am so incredibly thankful for the opportunities that have come George’s way. He has worked hard and he has persevered and God has blessed him abundantly. I know that at some point the distance and the time apart will hit me like a ton of bricks. But for now, I’m just going to be happy for my son and grateful that he is living the life that he’s dreamed of.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you get to go FAR AWAY!!!
Yesterday I went to the wedding of one of my best friends from high school. It was a pretty darn perfect day in my opinion. The weather was gorgeous. The bride and groom were happy. And the reception was a blast! We all had so much fun. And I think the biggest reason why, is that this beautiful couple brought a lot of us together who hadn’t been in been in REAL contact, other than through social media and maybe an occasional event here and there, for a long time. It was so good to see everyone. It was like no time had passed at all. We danced and laughed and joked and talked and shared just like we did over 30 years ago. I think that if decades later you can feel as comfortable with your high school friends, as you did in high school, then you have definitely been blessed with special friendships. I know that I have been and I’m truly thankful.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you celebrate a lifetime of love and friendship!!!
Yesterday was my son’s first full day at home in 2 months. I am so HAPPY he is back! He has been very busy at school, so keeping in touch this semester has seemed different. Not difficult and not distant, just different. George has created a nice life for himself at school with friends, clubs, sports and church. And he’s a good student. It’s really all a mom could ever ask for. I honestly couldn’t be happy for him. The thing that blows my mind though, is that he handles almost everything on his own now. Shopping, scheduling, meetings, appointments, etc. It has been such relief to see him take these responsibilities over easily and master being an adult. We have always had a great relationship so thankfully he balances all of that out, still asking for advice and assistance when he really feels he needs it. As a mom, I needed him to get to THIS place in his life NOW. Why? WeIl, if it all works out George will be studying abroad the entire next school year. This is also something he’s handled all on his own. Which has shown me so much about my son. He is driven. He is responsible. He knows what he wants and he is capable of making it all happen. And somehow he maintains an air of humility that is rare to see these days.
Yesterday, we had fun. George loves to cook so we shopped at his favorite butcher’s market to get food for his week home. We planned out our week ahead. And we also started researching and shopping for some of the bigger items he may need for his year abroad. It’s all very exciting! I am so thankful that he includes me in all of that when he can and I am grateful that there are pieces of it that I can still help him with. And it really helps me have a better understanding of what his year away will be like. A familiarity of sorts. I think he knows that including me in what he can somehow makes it all a little easier for me knowing he will be so far away for so long.
If I had to describe my son in one word (it’s really impossible to do that) I would choose KIND. He knows that I will never let my fears hold any of my children back from chasing their dreams. So he does his best to ease my nerves when he can. Even if he has no time in his day, he will find the time to reach out to me if he thinks I’m worried. I appreciate his compassion. And I appreciate him so much.
Yesterday I surprised George by sending him off for his first day spa visit. This was DEFINITELY not something he would have ever planned for himself. Not. At. All. But I sure think he deserved it.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you stay humble, work hard and relax harder!!!