Still JOYFUL …

Every year I come up with a new birthday mantra. A short personal saying that I believe will help me shape the next year of my life. Some years they come quickly to me. Other years they take a bit of time and reflection. This was definitely one of those years that required some thought. And I’ll tell you why.

I don’t think that one simple saying can ever describe how grateful I am to turn 50 years old today. I honestly want to scream it from the roof tops that I MADE IT! There were years that I was skeptical because of my family history. And moments, when my personal health seemed grim, my pain was unbearable and I felt so ill, that I made peace with death. Trust me folks, encephalopathy is no joke. I’ve been in that ugly place where I had to face my own mortality. I have had to surrender to what was happening to me because I was too weak to do anything more. But I have also felt God’s beautiful grace when He blessed me with full healing. TWICE. I know not everyone is that “lucky”. But for some reason I was. I was given more time to live life with the people that I love … and I simply couldn’t be more thankful. Again, “thankful” just doesn’t seem like enough. There is no word that even comes close to describe how it feels to be HERE. To breath, to laugh, to love and to LIVE in this moment is just about the best feeling I have ever known. And I am not going to waste one second of it. No way. No how. God gave me THIS. My life. My story. My miracle. And not being able to describe how I feel about all of this is incredible. I am 50 and life still leaves me speechless. It can still completely consume me with emotion leaving me with no other choice than to just be IN IT and FEEL IT. And if that isn’t the best gift EVER, I just don’t know what is.

So, I guess that leaves me with only one choice for my new birthday mantra. This year I will continue to do what I have always done, to try to see the best in everyone and in every situation. I will continue to carry hope in my heart. And I will celebrate every season, the good and the bad, that I am blessed to experience. Because I know that life is precious. Very, very precious. Every. Single. Moment.

Well, I hope you all have a year where you are STILL JOYFUL!!!


Still so much to learn …

We are out in the desert this week. It’s absolutely beautiful here. And I love the desert heat. I’m also incredibly fascinated by the windmills. They look and operate like moving pieces of art. I’m memorized by them. And they are a reminder that there are still so many things in this world that I know nothing about. I’m a pretty intelligent woman, if I do say so myself. But I have absolutely no idea how these things work. And I don’t care. I could watch them all day long. It makes me kind of happy that I can just enjoy them. I’m thankful that there are people who do understand them. The people who created them and operate them are brilliant in my opinion. But I wonder if they see it that way? Do they just see work and numbers? Or do they see the magnificence of them? I hope for them, the latter. Or at minimum, I hope that they know that there are people like me out here who stand in awe of their creation.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you realize you still have so much to learn!!!

Vibrant …

I’m not sure what it is. Perhaps the weather. The air quality. The season. My mood, HA! But the past few days have been utterly gorgeous. Colors seem to be more vivid and intense. Everything just seems so crystal clear. I love noticing things like this. I don’t want busyness and life to get in the way of appreciating the world around me. That would be a shame!

Well, I hope you all had a vibrant day!!!

A beautiful and imperfect life …

When I pray I don’t ask for a perfect life. But instead, I ask for perfect moments in my rather imperfect life. I do not need an easy life to be happy. I do not need flawlessness. What makes me the happiest are those times when I am with the people I love most, sharing easy conversations, laughs or even stillness, quiet or tears. Those moments when I find myself saying that I wouldn’t trade RIGHT NOW for anything, no matter what situation I may be in. We could be home or on an adventure. At the market or an appointment. We can be going through tough times or good. It doesn’t matter. Opening my heart to accepting that these moments can happen ANYWHERE and under ANY circumstances has allowed me much joy. The genuineness of these moments allow me to feel the closeness that I am blessed to share with others. I appreciate the natural flow of these interactions and the contentment that they bring. They are a reminder that there is a great beauty in just BEING.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you appreciate your beautiful life!!!

A great day …

We all have good days and bad days. I have a hard time staying fixated on the bad ones. It’s not that I dismiss them. I don’t! I find them invaluable. I feel like they make my good days, better. I guess I just find it easy to not get stuck in the thoughts of a bad day. I don’t expect them reoccur the next day or to have lasting negative effects. I see them more like a snapshot in time. And I use them as a measure to help me appreciate my good days even more.

Well, I hope you all have a great day!!!

Finding joy … 

Late last night I had the opportunity to be down in Newport Beach. I was at a place high enough in the city where I could see the marina all lit up. It was lovely. The way the lights twinkled on the water had me in awe. As “present” as I try to remain in my daily life and as thankful as I am for having any moments at all, I am often STRUCK by experiences like this. I am so captivated by the gift that I see in them, that I can’t help but stop and take them all in. I want to feel and appreciate the unexpected beauty that life so generously hands me. It’s times like these that truly feed my soul.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you find your joy!!!

A quiet and peaceful moment … 

There is nothing quite like waking up completely rested before everyone else is awake. I love lounging in my bed and listening to the silence. Life can be really loud … OK I mean my life, and specifically the people in my life, can be really loud. Seriously they come with a lot of clatter and chatter. LOTS. HA!

Well, I hope you all have day where you appreciate a quiet and peaceful moment!!!