This is one of those days where I have a lot to do and a lot to figure out. Some of it won’t be easy. NOPE. But I know that I got this! At some point today, someone should probably give me one of those football player chest bump thingys to keep me going. But not too hard, because knowing me, that won’t end well. HA!
Well, I hope you all have a day where you scream LET’S DO THIS!!!
I had such a great run this morning. But probably not for the reasons you would think. I wasn’t fast and it wasn’t monumentally long. It didn’t signify the beginning of a training or the end of one. It was a normal run that made me happy. That deep runner happy! I guess I was just so grateful to be out there. Again.
My running over the past two years was not marked with great successes. I had some goals that got me feeling comfortable with running distance again, but for the most part running was for fun and to stay fit. Today as I ran, I started thinking about the running goals that I’ve had in the past. They have seemed so unattainable since I got sick. But today when I was out there I looked back on the past two years and realized that I’m making my way back to the runner I used to be. Slowly (like literally, HA!) but surely, I am regrowing the heart I had for running and seeing my past goals more clearly. I feel THAT passion stirring in my heart and it’s driving me to chase my dreams all so over again. Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment and disappointment but I think I’m ready to put myself out there. Whether I have success or face more failure and setbacks, I really don’t care, because I can’t shake how good it felt being out there today dreaming the way I used to. It was honestly a gift.
Well, I hope you hope you all have a day where you chase your dreams and find your joy (again)!!!
My chores were done yesterday. I got a good night of sleep. I woke to beautiful blue skies. And EVERYONE here is healthy. If that doesn’t motivate me, nothing will. My mood has lifted. After last week, I feel renewed. Restored. Ready. I am grateful to be worry-free. Well, at least for the moment. This kind of energy feels INCREDIBLE after the despair I felt last week. It was dark. I felt our skies agreed. We had more rain falling than I had seen in years. I honestly felt like I was in a pit deep with fear. When your child is sick you feel so helpless. And that feels horrible. But Reese is fine now. GOD IS SO GOOD. And I have climbed out of that hole. I am back standing in the light. And I am THANKFUL. So, so THANKFUL.
During yoga this morning, I stretched my body taller and reached high into the sky so that I could physically take in as much of this day as I could. I have taken so many deep breathes today. In relief and to absorb this easiness of this day into my soul. I don’t want to waste one moment of how I feel. The weightlessness of this day is a gift and I will treat it as such. I choose to be present. To balance. To enjoy. To serve others. To love. To chase my dreams. And to bravely wear my purpose. To me, THIS is living my best life with all that God has given me. I don’t have to, I want to. I choose embrace this day and to be open to all that it brings me.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you rise!!!
Yesterday was HARD but I can’t complain because everything worked out okay. But because it was so stressful and because I was absolutely exhausted last night, I honestly wondered if I’d wake up sick this morning. Thankfully I didn’t! I woke up early and ready to go with memories of yesterday behind me. I love that my mind and body continue to be resilient after experiencing difficulties. I’m not sure if I am going to maintain this ability forever, but since I’m almost 50 now, I think that I have a pretty good shot.
Well, I hope you all woke up thankful for a new day!!!
I absolutely love my new Fitbit. It “talks” to me way more than my last one. It can be a little bossy when it wants me to get moving. But in the morning it always has something positive to say. It gives me that last little bit of encouragement that helps me get out the door to go run. It seems silly, but I actually look forward to seeing what it has to say. Like this morning, I woke up early and motivated to get out there and work on my pace. Last week I kept all my runs easy as it was my first week back to running after my race. But this morning I was looking to get a little more out of my run. I was pretty excited! And I guess my new Fitbit was too because it “told” me exactly what I needed.
Well, I hope you all have a day where YOU GOT THIS!!!
Sooooo … I have a race on Sunday. I haven’t raced since last July and that was just for fun when I was in Alaska with friends. Sunday will be fun too but it’s also me officially starting to race seriously again. It is both scary and exciting. Getting sick messed with my mind, body and soul. I’ve slowly crept out of the funk it put me in and I feel like I’m finally owning that my heart is vested in my dreams again. I’m a LONG way off from achieving them. Trust me, Sunday’s race will be slow and steady to the finish. No where near my old finishing times. But you know what? I am going to appreciate every single second of it because those footsteps are the beginning of me believing in myself again.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you tap back in!!!
I did my long run yesterday … and it was horrific. I was looking forward to it and had no reservations about getting it done, but it got ugly. REAL UGLY.
The first six miles were fine. Completely uneventful. But by mile 8 I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. The miles that followed were even worse. The word NASTY describes it about as good as “ice cube” describes an iceberg. Yep, it was THAT BAD. It was honestly one of the toughest training runs I’ve ever had. Don’t get me wrong I have experienced these awful miles before. Some runs just SUCK. And this one SUCKED HUGE.
But as much as I loathe these trying runs, I have also grown to appreciate them. Not at the time, of course! At the time I’m too wrapped up in the misery to see anything good. I wonder why I continue to subject myself to the disappointment. I wonder if my body was ever meant for distance. I berate myself with all sorts of negatives! The appreciation I have for tough runs comes later when I realize that I can suffer greatly and still somehow manage to survive. There is something in this realization that gives me strength. Knowing that I can push myself mind, body and soul is empowering. It’s hell, but it’s empowering!
Thankfully by the next day, the memory of my terrible run fades and I begin to think about my next long run. One that I envision will be better. WAY BETTER. The best part of this is that my mind believes it’s possible. Somehow my feelings of defeat morph into determination. FIERCE determination! And it gets me back out there, HAPPILY, week after grueling training week. To try to explain this roller coaster of emotions and self-inflicted physical torment sounds insane even to me. But I guess that’s why they say runners are crazy, HA!
Well, I hope you all have a day where you can’t wait to do it all over again!!!