Most people who know me would say that I hold it together unusually well during times of stress and change. I deal with things straightforward. What’s on my plate that day, gets my effort and attention. When I was younger I was a worry wart. I was anxious about EVERYTHING. That all faded away. Now I save my efforts for the real stuff and even then I remain pretty calm. And optimistic. It drives my crew crazy sometimes. I think they want to see more “emotion” out of me. Trust me, I am one emotional woman. I’m a crier. I laugh at just about everything. And I’m usually the happiest person in the room. But when it comes to stressful situations or change I just gave up freaking out about them. It’s way easier to just deal with them. In a “matter-of-fact” kind of way I muddle through the tough times. I do make a TON of lists. They tend to keep me focused. Plus they are a great visual for me to measure my progress through the problem or situation I’m currently in the thick of.
Regardless of what I’ve been dealing with, when the day comes when I feel like I am finally passed it, I tend to fall apart. I’ll cry more, sleep like a rock and sometimes I get sick. It’s like my mind and body can finally let their defenses down. It’s funny. Even though this is when I feel like a mess, it’s also a time when I feel my strongest. It’s like earning another battle scar. And it’s a reminder that I am a survivor. Again.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you happily fall apart!!!
I woke up this morning feeling something I hadn’t in a very long time. RELAXED. Sidney has been home from college for about a month now. George graduated from high school last night. Libs and Reese have their last day of school today. Our absolutely exhausting, unpredictable, and stressful school year is OVER. There were many times when I wondered if we were going to make it out of this one unscathed by our circumstances. It was a tough one. This past week one particularly memory has come to mind time and time again.
I was just recently out of the hospital. On top of everything else my vision was terrible even with my glasses on. Between the medications and being so sick everything was just a blur. But there George and I were, sitting in front of his computer finishing up his college applications. I remember thinking HOW? How exactly are we going to get from HERE to THERE? And what if we didn’t? The worry was incredible. So much “hinged on” those applications. Too much to even imagine the loss. He needed my guidance. He needed my help. No excuse was good enough. It all had to get done and it had to get done then. His future wasn’t going to wait for me to feel better and for me to see clearly again. So we did what we had to do and got them done despite our obstacles.
And here we are. Many months later. Sid home for summer and soon to be entering her Junior year in college. Libs with a Distinguished Scholar Award for keeping a 4.0 her Freshman year. My Reese thriving and ready to take on 2nd Grade. And George, a high school graduate leaving for college in just two short months. I can’t believe we got from THERE to HERE. Their resilience amazes me. They persisted and it all paid off. We made it. THEY made it.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you breathe a BIG SIGH of relief!!!
Reese was given an award for “Excellent Progress” today at school. This kid never ceases to amaze me. Children with intellectual delays can regress when they are under times of stress or change. Let’s face it, we all can. But in Reese’s case this really has never been an issue. Even with me having been sick and still now recovering, she has just “gone with the flow”. Things are just now starting to get somewhat normal again, and here we are in the midst of the holidays. Yet this beautiful and bright little girl keeps excelling in her world despite all that has been going on. She really is my hero.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you are one proud parent!!!
This is all I have in me.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you don’t get a stress migraine!!!
I have had a weird Fall racing schedule. First, I had three races planned. Then certain circumstances made me think that I was only going to be running one of those three races. But in the past 24 hours both the races I wasn’t running were added back to my calendar. And I have to admit, I’m glad. In the midst of all the craziness that has gone down in my life the past two weeks, the thought of these races seem like a nice escape. Training will help me take my mind off of things and it will be a positive outlet. Even if it is just for a fraction of my day, I know that the reprieve will do me good. Running has saved me from being totally absorbed by stress more times than I can count. And if running were a person, I’d give it a big hug.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you have a welcomed distraction!!!
I haven’t been sleeping well in WEEKS. It’s just part of my “normal” sleep pattern when I am stressed or out of my routine. It passes. Eventually. Luckily in the midst of all of this sleep disturbance I can usually manage to get a night in of solid sleep. It’s not always a long night’s rest but it is deep enough to keep me going. When I wake up from sleep like this I feel almost disoriented. Like … what year is it?!?!
Well, I hope you all have a day where you don’t feel line Rumpelstiltskin’s sister!!!
Sid was discharged from the hospital last night and I was once again reminded that facing a stressful situation doesn’t just take its’ toll on you emotionally. It can place a huge physical burden on you as well.
When we left the hospital last night and our back tires hit the asphalt of the street I was shocked to feel what I did. It was physical. A heaviness lifted off of my body. It was so profound that it took my breath away. At that very moment my mind AND body both realized something. This ugly chapter was closed. This terrifying experience behind us … forever.
Well, I hope you all have a day where the weight of the world has been lifted from your shoulders!!!