Run down …

At the end of another busy day we found ourselves out to dinner AGAIN last night. UGH. To put it into perspective, Libs didn’t finish up at school until 7 pm and she probably could have stayed longer if I had let her. Again, UGH.

Sitting at dinner last night I was abundantly thankful that I didn’t have to cook. I really don’t like eating out during the weekdays, but I was so tired and hungry that I didn’t care. I’d even been feeling a bit sketchy earlier in the day too. Almost like I was about to come down with something. I dismissed it because I’ve been so busy and stressed these past few weeks. Add in the poor night’s sleep that I had the other day when Reese had her growing pains and it wasn’t a good equation. I, however, chose to remain in complete denial. Bad idea. Again, again, UGH.

As we were enjoying our not-homemade blessing of a dinner last night, I caught a glimpse of something on Reese’s face. SNOT. Her nose was dripping ever so slightly. I instantly began claiming that the chill in the air both inside and outside the restaurant must be causing it. As she began to drip more I moved into accusing allergens as the culprit. This was clearly a desperate stretch since the child doesn’t even have allergies! By the time we got home Reese was in full drip mode. Somehow I still managed to give her a bath, dry her hair and get her into bed a few minutes before her bed time. Moments like that, I feel like I have magical powers.

Unfortunately the magic wore off pretty quickly. My poor baby girl was not having a good nights sleep. I rubbed her back, repositioned her and cuddled her all night long. At around 4 am she seemed to be more comfortable than she had been all night and was sound asleep. I was SO THANKFUL!

So what did I do? Sleep, right?!?! NOPE. I got up and rummaged through paperwork. Really Jennifer, REALLY?!?! Oh and I forgot to mention that at some point in the darkness of night, my denial officially wore off. I began to feeling sniffly too.

1000 times, UGH.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you don’t feel run down!!!

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SUPERMOM …

Today is one of those days when I’m not sure one of me is enough. Yesterday round two of cold and flu season hit our home. Sid and Reese are both sick with fevers again. And these fevers are MUCH higher than the first time around. Ugh. This makes week FOUR of someone being sick here. Heck, I’m still not myself and it’s been almost two weeks since I first got sick. This YUCK lingers! On top of two girls down, George is getting his wisdom teeth pulled today. I got out of bed incredibly early to make sure he ate a huge breakfast since he can’t eat 8 hours before his surgery. I know he’s 18 now and could have made his own breakfast but he’s still my son. Moms lose it a little when it comes to the words CHILD and SURGERY. Well, at least I do. So needless to say I made him breakfast. Which was fine because I was awake anyway. I was up most of the night with Reese who was extremely restless. I was happy though, I was finally able to fall asleep for about an hour. YAY! Then it was time to wake up to do Libs’ hair for choir portraits today. She had to be at school early today. Of course she did. OY. But somehow I managed to get her to school UNUSUALLY early with her backpack, tennis bag, choir dress and hair and makeup done. Nothing forgotten! A miracle, if I do say so myself.

At some point today I’m going to cry. I just know it. My guess is when they take George back to have his teeth removed. I’ll have a moment alone and a second to breath. Let’s just hope it’s more tearful rather than blubber-y.

Clearly most of this crazy day piled up by no fault of my own. I scheduled George’s surgery months ago and we just found out about the portraits. And SICK happens whenever it happens. My friends and I joke that when I have a stressful day it’s not like everyone else’s normal scoop of stress. It’s got extra toppings, HA!

Days like this I am in awe that God trusts me so much. When I look in the mirror I see just one small woman. But God has put some major love, tenacity and determination into this little frame of mine. He’s packed me with everything I need to get through days like this. And I’m grateful. So, so grateful.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you feel like SUPERMOM!!!

A lot of baggage …

Flying two kids home from college with all their STUFF is a lot to manage and can be quite stressful. They have finals to deal with and I’m excited to have them home and want their travels go smoothly. So it can be a big cluster of anxiety to say the least. But this morning after thinking about it and trying to convince myself that there is nothing to worry about, I made myself giggle (alone at the carwash).

Well, I hope you all have a day where you don’t have a lot of baggage!!!

Disturbing sounds …

My stomach has been growling ALL day. My appetite has been quite suppressed over the past month. Stress and busyness does that to me. I just don’t seem to get hungry. I eat because I know I need to, but not nearly as much as I normally do. Anyway, today my stomach started growling. I don’t get it because I’ve actually eaten normally today and I’m not hungry at all. Yet the growling is out of this world. It’s not regular growling. This growling has to be coming from the depths of my soul. It is so loud! Even Libs commented when she sat next to me. Apparently it was shaking the couch! Yikes!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you don’t hear some disturbing sounds!!!

Spinning …

We have had a busy summer. It's been fun but we have been on the go since George's graduation day in June. It's honestly been a whirlwind. The past few days we have had at home we spent catching up on life. And by life I mean laundry, HA! Well, that was part of it anyway. But we also had even more running around to do. Ugh. Next week Sid is moving into her new house and George will be moving into his dorm. So we had lots of shopping and packing that needed to be done this week. Not to mention Libs and Reese! Luckily they have a few more weeks of summer left so I still have some time to get their back-to-school things in order. Thank. God.

Last night George and I finished the last of our errands to get him ready for college. I felt so relieved! So relieved that I think my body shut down when I went to sleep last night. I woke up in the same position I fell asleep in. Ouch. And I was rudely reminded by my body that I drank no water yesterday. How is that even possible?!?! Busy anxious mom-ness is how that is possible! Needless to say I was so dizzy when I woke up that I could hardly walk. I guess my body has had quite enough of this summer schedule and has decided it's time for me to rest. OK, fine … I'll reluctantly listen.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you aren't spinning!!!

Happily falling apart …

Most people who know me would say that I hold it together unusually well during times of stress and change. I deal with things straightforward. What’s on my plate that day, gets my effort and attention. When I was younger I was a worry wart. I was anxious about EVERYTHING. That all faded away. Now I save my efforts for the real stuff and even then I remain pretty calm. And optimistic. It drives my crew crazy sometimes. I think they want to see more “emotion” out of me. Trust me, I am one emotional woman. I’m a crier. I laugh at just about everything. And I’m usually the happiest person in the room. But when it comes to stressful situations or change I just gave up freaking out about them. It’s way easier to just deal with them. In a “matter-of-fact” kind of way I muddle through the tough times. I do make a TON of lists. They tend to keep me focused. Plus they are a great visual for me to measure my progress through the problem or situation I’m currently in the thick of.

Regardless of what I’ve been dealing with, when the day comes when I feel like I am finally passed it, I tend to fall apart. I’ll cry more, sleep like a rock and sometimes I get sick. It’s like my mind and body can finally let their defenses down. It’s funny. Even though this is when I feel like a mess, it’s also a time when I feel my strongest. It’s like earning another battle scar. And it’s a reminder that I am a survivor. Again.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you happily fall apart!!!

A BIG SIGH of relief …

I woke up this morning feeling something I hadn’t in a very long time. RELAXED. Sidney has been home from college for about a month now. George graduated from high school last night. Libs and Reese have their last day of school today. Our absolutely exhausting, unpredictable, and stressful school year is OVER. There were many times when I wondered if we were going to make it out of this one unscathed by our circumstances. It was a tough one. This past week one particularly memory has come to mind time and time again.

I was just recently out of the hospital. On top of everything else my vision was terrible even with my glasses on. Between the medications and being so sick everything was just a blur. But there George and I were, sitting in front of his computer finishing up his college applications. I remember thinking HOW? How exactly are we going to get from HERE to THERE? And what if we didn’t? The worry was incredible. So much “hinged on” those applications. Too much to even imagine the loss. He needed my guidance. He needed my help. No excuse was good enough. It all had to get done and it had to get done then. His future wasn’t going to wait for me to feel better and for me to see clearly again. So we did what we had to do and got them done despite our obstacles.

And here we are. Many months later. Sid home for summer and soon to be entering her Junior year in college. Libs with a Distinguished Scholar Award for keeping a 4.0 her Freshman year. My Reese thriving and ready to take on 2nd Grade. And George, a high school graduate leaving for college in just two short months. I can’t believe we got from THERE to HERE. Their resilience amazes me. They persisted and it all paid off. We made it. THEY made it.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you breathe a BIG SIGH of relief!!!