Pull it together …

After a crazy month I feel like I am finally reeling it all back in. Life has calmed the heck down. Or, probably more likely, I have a better grasp on the life season that we are in. I like this feeling. It’s like everything goes from completely unraveled to being more closely knit together and stronger. Life can be pretty awesome that way.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you pull it together!!!

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Finding out who you are …

Over the weekend I found myself at Urgent Care with Reese. Saturday night she presented with some signs and symptoms that seemed vaguely familiar to me. After putting all the pieces together, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Reese has a hernia. Sure enough, my suspicions where right. She was diagnosed with an abdominal hernia, and after seeing her pediatrician yesterday, they suspect that she may also have a small ulcer from stomach acid and the stress she experienced from vomiting so much. This makes everything she has been through the past few weeks finally make sense to me. Which thankfully brings me a lot of peace of mind. Not knowing was very upsetting. But with the learning of this kind of information, actions must follow. This is when being a social worker, with a boatload of medical experience, and a mom all seem to come together perfectly. Or so, this is my hope.

If you ask most people who know me, they will say that I’m a pretty happy and excitable person. But when it comes to stressful situations, I’m calm. Unusually calm. So calm that it often angers my children. They think I’m too “matter-of-fact” sometimes. But I honestly, can’t help it. Usually when I’m presented with a fairly stressful situation I consider the information I am given with objectivity and discernment. I look at all of the facts, tap into my existing knowledge on the topic, research any questions that I may have, develop a plan and go from there. This whole process gives me a feeling of control over seemingly out of control situations. This also pairs nicely with a promise that I made with myself long ago as a way of dealing with some anxiety that I was experiencing. I don’t worry about ANYTHING unless it is literally sitting on a plate in front of me. The bottom line is, for the most part, I can remain rational when most people can’t. But I will tell you that as a parent, having dealt my children’s health issues in the past and as of present, this can become hard. REAL HARD. I am thankful that I can boast a pretty successful track record of “pulling it together” … so far.

I admit that in the past few weeks I have been emotional regarding Reese’s health. Her symptoms have been concerning and I was presented with no solid answers to why she was experiencing them. Well, we had some, but my mama’s instinct said that there was more. And there was. But that period of unknowing really unnerved me. Thankfully, we now know what we are dealing with. And even better, it’s fixable. THANK YOU GOD.

So now it’s time for action and THIS what I’m good at. THIS I can handle.

Today we see the surgeon. It is all happening much faster than I expected. I’ve already done a ton of research on treatment plans and I feel ready for this meeting. Finally KNOWING the UNKNOWN I feel confident again. I want my daughter pain-free, symptom-free and restored to her happy healthy active self. I know that these goals will keep me focused, grounded and driven. And that feels good.

When I earned my MSW in 1995 it was YEARS before Reese was even a thought in my head. Yet it is through her that I have a complete understanding of my being. You see, God knew she was coming. Gracefully and purposely He molded me into exactly what Reese would need to live her best life. He educated me through books and life and love to turn me into the mommy I am today. A mommy full of crazy fierce protective unconditional love for this incredible little girl who has so much to teach the world. Today that mommy and the social worker in me collide (again) and I get the privilege of doing my life’s calling, my purpose, for her. For this amazingly beautiful little soul that God has gifted me with to raise and to love. I can’t help be but humbled by His trust. And grateful. So. So. Grateful.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you find out who you are!!!

Thankful for a new day …

Yesterday was HARD but I can’t complain because everything worked out okay. But because it was so stressful and because I was absolutely exhausted last night, I honestly wondered if I’d wake up sick this morning. Thankfully I didn’t! I woke up early and ready to go with memories of yesterday behind me. I love that my mind and body continue to be resilient after experiencing difficulties. I’m not sure if I am going to maintain this ability forever, but since I’m almost 50 now, I think that I have a pretty good shot.

Well, I hope you all woke up thankful for a new day!!!

I hope He is right …

Some days I am faced with some stressful junk. I really try to make peace with moments like this. One way is by telling myself that this is God’s way of reminding me of how strong God thinks I am. BIG SIGH.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you hope He is right!!!

No opportunities on hold …

It’s been one heck of a week. A wonderful week filled with lots of exciting things, but holy moly, it’s been exhausting! Last night I was out late too. I’m not sure what I was thinking, HA! I knew morning was coming with all of its responsibilities. But you know what? It was worth it!

I thank God every day for doors that He opens to life’s adventures. Big or small, timed or untimely, they are all a blessing. So I seize them! If I have learned anything over the past year it’s that life can leave you tired in two different ways. The first, from being weighted down by stress, worry and other unpleasantries. And the second, by getting out there, despite it all, and having a ball anyway! Regardless of how hard it may have been at times, life has taught me to chose to do the latter. And it’s never served me wrong when I have. This decision to ACT and not WALLOW has allowed me to share incredible experiences with some beautiful souls that I would have missed otherwise. And THAT is what, I like to believe, is the definition of a life well-lived.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you don’t put any opportunity on hold!!!

Run down …

At the end of another busy day we found ourselves out to dinner AGAIN last night. UGH. To put it into perspective, Libs didn’t finish up at school until 7 pm and she probably could have stayed longer if I had let her. Again, UGH.

Sitting at dinner last night I was abundantly thankful that I didn’t have to cook. I really don’t like eating out during the weekdays, but I was so tired and hungry that I didn’t care. I’d even been feeling a bit sketchy earlier in the day too. Almost like I was about to come down with something. I dismissed it because I’ve been so busy and stressed these past few weeks. Add in the poor night’s sleep that I had the other day when Reese had her growing pains and it wasn’t a good equation. I, however, chose to remain in complete denial. Bad idea. Again, again, UGH.

As we were enjoying our not-homemade blessing of a dinner last night, I caught a glimpse of something on Reese’s face. SNOT. Her nose was dripping ever so slightly. I instantly began claiming that the chill in the air both inside and outside the restaurant must be causing it. As she began to drip more I moved into accusing allergens as the culprit. This was clearly a desperate stretch since the child doesn’t even have allergies! By the time we got home Reese was in full drip mode. Somehow I still managed to give her a bath, dry her hair and get her into bed a few minutes before her bed time. Moments like that, I feel like I have magical powers.

Unfortunately the magic wore off pretty quickly. My poor baby girl was not having a good nights sleep. I rubbed her back, repositioned her and cuddled her all night long. At around 4 am she seemed to be more comfortable than she had been all night and was sound asleep. I was SO THANKFUL!

So what did I do? Sleep, right?!?! NOPE. I got up and rummaged through paperwork. Really Jennifer, REALLY?!?! Oh and I forgot to mention that at some point in the darkness of night, my denial officially wore off. I began to feeling sniffly too.

1000 times, UGH.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you don’t feel run down!!!

SUPERMOM …

Today is one of those days when I’m not sure one of me is enough. Yesterday round two of cold and flu season hit our home. Sid and Reese are both sick with fevers again. And these fevers are MUCH higher than the first time around. Ugh. This makes week FOUR of someone being sick here. Heck, I’m still not myself and it’s been almost two weeks since I first got sick. This YUCK lingers! On top of two girls down, George is getting his wisdom teeth pulled today. I got out of bed incredibly early to make sure he ate a huge breakfast since he can’t eat 8 hours before his surgery. I know he’s 18 now and could have made his own breakfast but he’s still my son. Moms lose it a little when it comes to the words CHILD and SURGERY. Well, at least I do. So needless to say I made him breakfast. Which was fine because I was awake anyway. I was up most of the night with Reese who was extremely restless. I was happy though, I was finally able to fall asleep for about an hour. YAY! Then it was time to wake up to do Libs’ hair for choir portraits today. She had to be at school early today. Of course she did. OY. But somehow I managed to get her to school UNUSUALLY early with her backpack, tennis bag, choir dress and hair and makeup done. Nothing forgotten! A miracle, if I do say so myself.

At some point today I’m going to cry. I just know it. My guess is when they take George back to have his teeth removed. I’ll have a moment alone and a second to breath. Let’s just hope it’s more tearful rather than blubber-y.

Clearly most of this crazy day piled up by no fault of my own. I scheduled George’s surgery months ago and we just found out about the portraits. And SICK happens whenever it happens. My friends and I joke that when I have a stressful day it’s not like everyone else’s normal scoop of stress. It’s got extra toppings, HA!

Days like this I am in awe that God trusts me so much. When I look in the mirror I see just one small woman. But God has put some major love, tenacity and determination into this little frame of mine. He’s packed me with everything I need to get through days like this. And I’m grateful. So, so grateful.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you feel like SUPERMOM!!!