10 miles and everything I’ve ever wanted to be …

I’ve mentioned before that when I finally decided I would run a marathon I had to approach it incrementally. 5K, then 10K, half marathon, then full marathon.

Early in this whole process I read an article that talked specifically about distance running. They considered anything over 6 miles “distance” because training changed. I always assumed they meant because once you ran over 6 miles the next racing increment was a half marathon, and yes, that is a whole new ball of wax in the training world.

For me personally, the first time I ran over 10 miles I felt like I had finally earned the right to call myself a “distance runner”. I’m not sure why but that number always stuck in my head as being fairly meaningful in miles. Once I was able to run that much I never really dipped below that on my weekly long runs. Truth be told I rarely dropped below 13.1. I always wanted to be race ready and that distance felt good to me, so I stuck with it. If I did need to cut a long run down, I did, but only to 10. Again, it just meant something to me.

Starting over this training has been much harder on my heart and mind than anything else. Yes, I was injured, but what has bothered me more is that I felt like I wasn’t capable of running 10 miles … and that bugged the poo out of me.

Two weeks ago I ran 9.3 miles. It was the longest run I had had since the LA Marathon … and then I got hurt. I was just about to get to my 10 miles and I couldn’t … and that sucked. But I remained patient. I took care of myself. Had a wonderful vacation with my family. And healed.

Not running for two weeks wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. And trust me, all the while the thought of those up and coming 10 miles would pop into my head. And sadly as the weeks passed I felt the pressure of knowing that according to my training I was supposed to run 12 last weekend and then 14 today … when I hadn’t even made it back to10 yet … BIG HUGE SIGH.

So today I went out with the intention of running 6 “easy” miles, hopefully adding 1-2 more miles on my hill nemesis. Honestly I wasn’t sure if my foot would allow me to run 4 … but it did. It got a little hinky around mile 4 but I pulled back and stopped running as fast as I was. At mile 6 I felt fine, so I ran another 2 at an easy pace. After I finished those I felt good so I decided to run a mile on my hill. I felt great after the first mile, so I decided to try another … and then another … and another. I ran a total of 12 miles today. Only two behind where I need to be in my training schedule and 6 more than I ever hoped to be possible today. AND 2 more than 10 … and I couldn’t be happier.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you see that you are exactly who you have always wanted to be!!!

Not feeling like myself …

It’s a pretty rare occurrence, but today I woke up in foul mood. Normally I wake up in a great mood regardless of what happened the day before. I really do feel renewed and I’m usually quite excited to find the potential each new day promises. But today this was not the case. I didn’t even have a bad day yesterday nor did I have to do anything unpleasant today. I was just blah for no reason at all. I did go to yoga which seemed to help quite a bit. But I found at times throughout today I revisited my poopy attitude … I didn’t even want a donut … and I watched television.


Well, I hope you all had a day where you felt like yourself!!!

I want it and I want it bad …

I have not run in 12 days. OK, yesterday I did a few little jaunts just to be able to say I’ve actually run in Boston, HA! But I didn’t want to blow it. My foot is healing and I’m not rushing anything.

Last night when it was fairly late and quiet in the city, we headed over to Boylston Street. To the Boston Marathon finish line. I was so delirious when we got there that I didn’t realize that we actually parked on it! OH MY GOD! We moved, of course.

We got out of the car and I saw it FOR REALS. I took a few pictures. Standing on it seemed almost like sacrilege to me. I don’t belong there. Not yet anyway. I couldn’t even imagine running over it just to say that I had. I wouldn’t dare. It means more than that to me. This is my dream. I want to cross that finish line because I EARNED the right to so so.

I spent a few tearful moments alone there. Do I have what it takes to get here? Can I really do this? I heard the words of my mentors. I know that without them I wouldn’t dare to dream this dream. They believe in me and I don’t want to disappoint them … or me. I thought of my friends who want to earn the right to be at THIS place too. I want that so much for them. I thought about my foot. How injuries happen. Life happens. I fail. I break. It sucks.

The Boston Marathon … sure, some runners are just THAT gifted. They are just THAT fast. But then there are the runners like me. Runners willing to do what it takes, time and time again, to achieve their goals. The runners so full of hope and daring to believe that the impossible is, in fact, possible.

Standing there last night I promised myself I would be back. Of course I don’t know when, but that doesn’t matter to me. One day I WILL be back to run across that finish line. I also promised myself that I would not feel disappointed with setbacks. They happen. Deal. I will only allow them to make me stronger, to teach me patience and allow them to push me to WANT IT more!

Again … life happens.

I break and it hurts.

I fail, A LOT.

BUT my life can also be SO good. THANKFULLY I still mend. And I PROMISE … I will succeed.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you WANT IT AND WANT IT BAD!!!