All the feels …

This morning I had a yucky awful terrible run. Those are THE WORST and they usually leave me pretty irritable. About an hour after my run I spoke with my son, George, who is in Germany. This was THE BEST! My spirits were quickly lifted after hearing his voice. I miss him more than words could ever describe and his calls make me feel SO MUCH better. But a little while later Libs sent me a picture of herself after she got her hair styled for her senior portraits that she’s having done later today. This got me CRYING. When did my Little Libby Lu Lamb Chop become this beautiful young woman?!?! Needless to say, my morning has been chocked full of emotions.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you feel all the feels!!!

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Perfectly …

Today is my daughter Libby’s 17th birthday. To say that time has passed quickly since the day she was born is an understatement. I remember her beginning like it was yesterday.

I was standing in a deli after church on a Sunday morning when I realized that I was pregnant with Libs. I had just prayed the day before, that if the timing was PERFECT, that I would love to have another baby one day. Life was definitely not perfect at that time. I had just returned back to work and was loving the contract that I took with a local hospital. My head was in a different place. Yet there I was in that deli, already stricken with ALL DAY sickness and knowing that I was headed into what would likely be my third high-risk pregnancy. NOT the perfect time but it definitely all turned out PERFECTLY! God knew that our family needed Libs and He knew exactly when we would need her. I saw God move so much when I was pregnant with her. It was truly miraculous. And she came in God’s PERFECT timing. Libs was born into this world to a room full of laughter. All of us, doctors and nurses included, were laughing and having a wonderful time. Her birth was honestly like a party. I remember when I first held her, I felt an unexplainable familiarity with her. I felt like I had held her my whole life. She fit PERFECTLY into my arms, my heart and our family. I can’t imagine us without her! Libs is one of the funniest people you will ever know. I love how she sees and relates to this world. She is genuine and honest. She has always been a justice-seeker and she is incredibly fair. Libs is a gifted artist and brilliant, but most of all, Libs is kind and compassionate. This girl has a HUGE heart. I couldn’t be more proud of the young woman that she has become and of all the things that she has already accomplished. Life will take a lot of twists and turns for her over this next year. But I have no doubt that her future will turn out exactly how she came into this world … perfectly.

Well, I hope you all have a day where things turn out PERFECTLY!!!

Faith, love and miracles …

I know that this is the 10th year that I’ve been blessed to share this story, but I still cry like I wrote it yesterday. This story is about our beginning together. The story that we all fought so hard to tell. It is a story of faith, love and miracles.

When I was about 11 weeks pregnant we were told that she did not look quite so “typical” … I didn’t care. I loved our baby. And I prayed.

A few weeks later we were told, that not only was our baby “not typical”, but that there was a chance I would be delivering her stillborn. I wanted our baby even more fiercely than I had before. And I prayed.

Several weeks later, we almost lost our baby … to which I screamed an angry and adamant “NO!” And I prayed.

A month later we were told that our baby had a “very large hole in her heart” … to which I said, “I don’t believe you.“ And I prayed.

Two months later we were told, “Your baby is small” … to which I laughed and said, “Of all the things that you have told us, this seems pretty manageable.” And I prayed.

Two weeks later, on what was supposed to be a brief doctor’s visit before we headed to our local water park, we were told that our baby was not growing, that she was too small and that she was not acting the way that she should be. We were told that I would be given another amniocentesis to see if her lungs were developed. If they were, my doctor wanted to take her right away. I felt like my body was failing her. And I prayed.

My doctor gave me a drug to speed up our baby’s lung development. The results of the amniocentesis were not what we had hoped for. My doctor told us that our baby’s lungs were not developed, our baby could not breath on her own. Now we had a team of medical professionals. They hoped nothing would go wrong for the next 48 hours so that the steroid that they had given me would have time to help our baby’s lungs grow … to which I said, “OK”. And I prayed.

Less than 24 hours later I had a hospital room full of people wearing blue. They were running around and pumping my body full of fluids and drugs. We were told that we could no longer wait. We were told that our baby would not be breathing and that she would be very small and weak … to which I cried in her father’s arms and said, “I’m scared.” And I prayed.

Minutes later I was strapped to a table. I had refused anything that would alter my mental state. I wanted to be there for our baby. It took a long time to get her out. I was told that she was so small that she kept slipping through the doctor’s hands. I kept screaming, “Is she out?!?!” And I prayed.

Then, I heard a cry … to which I thought, “That is a loud cry for a baby who is supposed to be weak, small and not breathing.” And I prayed.

A few minutes later our baby was brought over to me, warmly swaddled, pink as could be, breathing all on her own and with no hole in her heart. (Sure, she had some extra chromosomes, but who cares about that?) And when I saw her I thought, “You are my miracle and I love you.” And then, I praised God for our beautiful daughter.

Ten years ago today, through God’s amazing grace, Reese Lindsey Grace was born by emergency cesarean section. She was 6 weeks early. She weighed 2lbs 15oz and was 15 ½ inches long. My world has not been quite the same since that day … and I would have it no other way.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you celebrate a miracle … and always remember to pray!!!

Happily living in denial …

Today my little girls start school. But with Reese in 4th Grade and Libs a senior in high school I realize that there is something that I should probably no longer hide from … my babies aren’t babies anymore. But ya know what? I’m going to do it anyway.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you live happily in denial!!!

The happiest person EVER …

Last night I spoke with my son, George, for the first time since he left for Europe four weeks ago. We have been texting daily but we had not talked. I mentioned calling a few times but he’s been very busy and with a 9-hour time difference, it’s been difficult to find a time that worked for both of us. I think delaying our first call probably worked out best since it really allowed him to get settled and adjusted into his life there without me bugging him, HA! Quite unexpectedly, last night things happened to fall into place so that we could talk .. and it was EVERYTHING this mama’s heart needed! YAY!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you feel like the happiest person EVER!!!

You can make it to the finish …

My kids are BUSY. There are a lot of them. And they are heading in all sorts of directions. Libs and Reese have one more week of school left. THANK GOD. Libs had her Farewell Concert last night and her choir banquet is tonight. After that it’s JUST finals. For the record, when finals are used in correlation with the word “just” you know it’s been a heck of a school year. Despite there only being a week left, we still have a lot to work out too. UGH. I have some issues to deal with regarding Reese’s school plan for next year. Along with that I am helping George maneuver through the study abroad program. THAT is a DOOZY. So needless to say, the end of this school year has kicked my mom butt. I keep telling myself it will all be over soon. Which is actually what I tell myself on practically every run and race I’ve ever completed. HA! Anyway, the difference a mere seven days will make is honestly astonishing. School will be out, we will have lots of answers to our questions and Sid will be home. I simply can’t wait.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you make it to the finish!!!

You got this …

Tomorrow Libs takes the SAT. If I told you all the things that this girl has done to prepare herself for this test, I’m not sure you would believe me. But that’s the kind of kid she is. She makes sure she has no regrets. She makes sure that she does all the “right” things. And she puts her all into achieving her goals. She works HARD. And she will go far. As a mom, this week I have been on pins and needles. I have been extra mother-y.

Eat healthy.

Go to sleep early.

No, you can’t go to that.

The list goes on …

I was not going to let anything derail all of her efforts. She is READY and her dreams are BIG. And I want to see them all come true.

Well, I hope you all have a day where YOU GOT THIS!!!