TOO MUCH …

Today I worked on our family calendar. This is usually NOT fun. Today it was especially NOT fun. We typically prepare for about 6-8 weeks of CRAZY in the Spring. OH I WISH it was just 8 weeks this year! As I wrote out our calendar, week after week, I filled our days with STUFF through JULY. I could have kept going too. But I couldn’t! I had enough of a glimpse into our future to be sure of one thing. I need three of me.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you don’t do TOO MUCH!!!

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Finding out who you are …

Over the weekend I found myself at Urgent Care with Reese. Saturday night she presented with some signs and symptoms that seemed vaguely familiar to me. After putting all the pieces together, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Reese has a hernia. Sure enough, my suspicions where right. She was diagnosed with an abdominal hernia, and after seeing her pediatrician yesterday, they suspect that she may also have a small ulcer from stomach acid and the stress she experienced from vomiting so much. This makes everything she has been through the past few weeks finally make sense to me. Which thankfully brings me a lot of peace of mind. Not knowing was very upsetting. But with the learning of this kind of information, actions must follow. This is when being a social worker, with a boatload of medical experience, and a mom all seem to come together perfectly. Or so, this is my hope.

If you ask most people who know me, they will say that I’m a pretty happy and excitable person. But when it comes to stressful situations, I’m calm. Unusually calm. So calm that it often angers my children. They think I’m too “matter-of-fact” sometimes. But I honestly, can’t help it. Usually when I’m presented with a fairly stressful situation I consider the information I am given with objectivity and discernment. I look at all of the facts, tap into my existing knowledge on the topic, research any questions that I may have, develop a plan and go from there. This whole process gives me a feeling of control over seemingly out of control situations. This also pairs nicely with a promise that I made with myself long ago as a way of dealing with some anxiety that I was experiencing. I don’t worry about ANYTHING unless it is literally sitting on a plate in front of me. The bottom line is, for the most part, I can remain rational when most people can’t. But I will tell you that as a parent, having dealt my children’s health issues in the past and as of present, this can become hard. REAL HARD. I am thankful that I can boast a pretty successful track record of “pulling it together” … so far.

I admit that in the past few weeks I have been emotional regarding Reese’s health. Her symptoms have been concerning and I was presented with no solid answers to why she was experiencing them. Well, we had some, but my mama’s instinct said that there was more. And there was. But that period of unknowing really unnerved me. Thankfully, we now know what we are dealing with. And even better, it’s fixable. THANK YOU GOD.

So now it’s time for action and THIS what I’m good at. THIS I can handle.

Today we see the surgeon. It is all happening much faster than I expected. I’ve already done a ton of research on treatment plans and I feel ready for this meeting. Finally KNOWING the UNKNOWN I feel confident again. I want my daughter pain-free, symptom-free and restored to her happy healthy active self. I know that these goals will keep me focused, grounded and driven. And that feels good.

When I earned my MSW in 1995 it was YEARS before Reese was even a thought in my head. Yet it is through her that I have a complete understanding of my being. You see, God knew she was coming. Gracefully and purposely He molded me into exactly what Reese would need to live her best life. He educated me through books and life and love to turn me into the mommy I am today. A mommy full of crazy fierce protective unconditional love for this incredible little girl who has so much to teach the world. Today that mommy and the social worker in me collide (again) and I get the privilege of doing my life’s calling, my purpose, for her. For this amazingly beautiful little soul that God has gifted me with to raise and to love. I can’t help be but humbled by His trust. And grateful. So. So. Grateful.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you find out who you are!!!

Normal …

Reese went back to school today. Before we left she said she was “excited” to see her friends. This settled my nerves … a little. The plan was to have me pick her up after lunch recess to shorten her first day back and for me to be notified if she couldn’t make it that long. The only message I received today was an email from her teacher telling me that she was eating and playing and all smiles. THAT was a good email! I don’t know what I expected but when I picked her up Reese looked great. She told me that she was a little tired but excitedly showed me a card and gift that her class had given her. Despite how last week unfolded for us, today was really no different than any other day. Again, I am not sure what I really expected, but I sure do like how this day turned out.

Well, I hope you all had a day that felt normal!!!

Back to our regularly scheduled programming …

It was a ROUGH week. Reese was in the emergency room TWICE. She’s never been that sick. I don’t think I have worried about her like that since she was 2lbs and in the NICU. It was scary to say the least. Thankfully she is recovering well and is her happy healthy self for the most part. Her appetite and energy aren’t quite back to normal yet, but they are getting there. So needless to say I pretty much abandoned our normal way of life this past week. It’s honestly all a big blur now. Being gone last weekend didn’t help either. I can’t tell you how many times I had to ask what day of the week it was. I was so LOST! But I can’t let a week like this pass without mentioning our VILLAGE. The friends and family who ALWAYS have our back. Their love and support are the REAL DEAL and we are blessed to walk through life when them. They make tough times easier and good times even better. The seasons we have shared with them have weaved into a lifetime of memories that I wouldn’t trade for anything. I honestly couldn’t be more thankful for these beautiful souls!

So, I guess there is only one thing left to do now that things have gone back to normal around here. OK fine, OUR normal. HA!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you get back to your regularly scheduled programming!!!

The calm before the barf …

It is a calm morning. A cozy morning. A parental bliss morning. But I have memories of yesterday’s morning. It started off much the same way as today … until a stomach bug “showed” itself just after Reese finished her breakfast … when she was holding her iPad and sitting in my bed. Ew.

Well, I hope you all have a day that doesn’t have any barfing!!!

Digging my out …

Laundry. PILE. Laundry. PILE. Laundry. PILE. With three of my four kids home, the holidays and new clothes literally EVERYWHERE I have been up to my earlobes in LAUNDRY.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you dig your way out!!!

Home for the holidays (in heart, mind, body and soul) …

My son, George, came home from college last night. I am so happy! Although Sid won’t be making it home this year and our house won’t be as full this holiday season as it has been in the past, I have a hard time feeling bad for myself. If I’ve learned anything over the past few years it’s that TIME is precious and HOME can very much so be a feeling or a state of mind. Again, change will always bring this MOM heart of mine a little bit of sorrow and a whole lot of joy. The process of growing and letting go, as a part of motherhood, is something that I suspect will challenge me for the rest of my life. But I can’t deny that regardless of proximity my heart is full knowing that the people I love most are where life has taken them. I know that they are where they feel they need to be. And THAT is beautiful.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you return HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS (whether it be in heart, mind, body or soul)!!!