I’m back and happy about it …

I took a few months off from writing. Well, I guess I was still writing just not the way I usually do and I didn’t publish anything. It’s the longest break I’ve taken away from my blog since I started it. And although a break was much needed, I did miss it terribly. This blog has very much become a part of me. The daily hope and silliness I seek to write when I am “here” is so valuable to me. It’s a habit that is now hard to break. And that is very good thing.

This summer was all about possibilities, opportunities and change. So I guess I just felt I needed to give myself some time to feel it, figure it out and to grow with it. To put it mildly we have had A LOT going on over here. For starters, I took and completed an herbal apothecary class that I needed to keep up my Nutrition and Wellness Consultant Certification. I absolutely loved the class. I learned SO MUCH. I couldn’t wait to personally add and implement the things I learned into my lifestyle. It definitely took up a chunk of my time but it was well worth it!

We also had a busy summer getting my son, George, ready for his year abroad. He left for Europe a few weeks ago and he’s settled into his dorm now. He’s enjoying the language and cultural summer program he’s enrolled in and will start his university classes in a few weeks. He has made some nice friends and has been able to do some day trips already. I am so happy for him! But as wonderful as all of this is for him, it’s been really hard on this mama’s heart too. I miss him HUGE and the worry is like NO OTHER. But like I always say, there is nothing more beautiful than watching your child chase their dreams. BIG SIGH.

Our summer wasn’t going to be complete without a few visits from my oldest daughter, Sidney. Luckily she had some time before her summer classes started to hang out with us. She lives in the Bay Area full time now and when she visits it’s always a whirlwind. We pack so much in when she is here that it’s shocking. I need at least week to recover when she leaves, HA!

Anyway, we also took a few small local trips for fun and a big trip back East to do some college visits for Libs. That is another season that we are in … again. This is my third senior year as a mom. It’s a time filled with an abundance of heartbreaking LASTS and exciting FIRSTS. Libs has a lot on her plate with school, tennis and performances this next academic year. I hope that she enjoys this time and savors every moment. I know that I will. History reminds me that this will also be an incredibly busy and unpredictable season with the completion of college applications, acceptance letters and decisions to be made. It’s a roller coaster to say the least. Libs has worked hard (this may be the biggest understatement I’ve ever written) to open doors for herself. Now I put my faith in God to decide what doors He will allow her to walk through. As a mom I’m ready for whatever opportunities come her way and I trust that God’s plan for Lib’s future will be good and that she will end up exactly where she needs to be.

On top of all of that I had some big decisions to make this summer about Reese’s schooling. At times, schooling for my typical children was hard to maneuver through, but having a child with special needs, I find that I put a whole different level of pressure on myself. I am so worried about making a mistake. This little girl deserves the best. MY BEST. I am her voice and I am her advocate. Responsibilities that I do not take lightly. As a social worker I typically feel like I know my stuff. I confidently move forward with my decisions once I think I have finally done enough research and had enough meetings and consultations to make the best ones for her. It’s getting to that point that makes for a stressful process. It took months to work out, but plans are set for the next three years and I feel good about them. Thank god.

So between ALL of that, birthdays, holidays and LIFE, I felt that my focus was needed elsewhere. And a lot of elsewhere-s at that! But as usual I severely underestimated my need to write daily. Be it a brief blog entry or a long journal entry, I need it. Writing is the creative outlet that nurtures my brain and my heart equally. I forget how much I process my world and my experiences through writing. And along with running and yoga I find that it’s part of what keeps me happy, healthy, growing and thriving.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you are back doing what you love!!!

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You can make it to the finish …

My kids are BUSY. There are a lot of them. And they are heading in all sorts of directions. Libs and Reese have one more week of school left. THANK GOD. Libs had her Farewell Concert last night and her choir banquet is tonight. After that it’s JUST finals. For the record, when finals are used in correlation with the word “just” you know it’s been a heck of a school year. Despite there only being a week left, we still have a lot to work out too. UGH. I have some issues to deal with regarding Reese’s school plan for next year. Along with that I am helping George maneuver through the study abroad program. THAT is a DOOZY. So needless to say, the end of this school year has kicked my mom butt. I keep telling myself it will all be over soon. Which is actually what I tell myself on practically every run and race I’ve ever completed. HA! Anyway, the difference a mere seven days will make is honestly astonishing. School will be out, we will have lots of answers to our questions and Sid will be home. I simply can’t wait.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you make it to the finish!!!

Grateful to be a part of something special …

Yesterday Reese participated in the Special Olympics Regional Games Track and Field events. This is her second year as an Special Olympics athlete. I can’t imagine that there will ever come a time when I’ll get used to how incredible these events are. If you have ever questioned the value of Special Olympics, I encourage you to attend. The joy and pride I have seen on these athletes faces is absolutely life changing. These are the REALEST of moments and the most GENUINENESS of feelings I have ever witnessed. I can’t help but be moved to tears by this level of beautiful humanness. Thank you Special Olympics! To encourage, to help and to give another human being the opportunity to DO and ACCOMPLISH great things, is nothing less than heroic.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you are grateful to be a part of something special!!!

Loved and needed …

Having four children, and one with special needs, comes with an incredible amount of responsibility. Even with two adult children now, life can often seem like it’s pulling me in every direction possible. Maybe even in some directions not yet discovered by scientists and mathematicians, HA! I am constantly doing something for someone or planning something that needs to be (or someone wants to be) done. I am their GO-TO person for problem-solving and … cash. HA, again! We share long talks late at night and I receive ugly early morning wake up calls. I have event alerts on my phone for us along with calendars (TWO) posted in our kitchen to keep us organized. Every night I review my To-Do List for the next day. It is usually filled with things that they need help with. I am available 24 hours a day 7 days a week for them. Until I die. And even then, l’m sure that I’ll figure out a way to still stay involved. HA, again again!

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am NOT complaining. Actually, I feel like I’m bragging.

Why?

Because my kids are incredible human beings. They are thoughtful, kind, loving, responsible and driven. And they LOVE and NEED me. To be LOVED is wonderful. To be NEEDED magnifies love 10-fold. Heck, 1,000,000-fold. Is that even a thing?!?! Regardless, my heart is full. My life is blessed, SO BLESSED, because of these humans who I love beyond measure. It may sound exhausting, and honestly some days it is, but I wouldn’t trade this life with them for anything. I love that they still need me. That they choose to make me THAT person. Because really, they don’t have to. They can turn to friends and other family members who would be there for them just as readily as I am. But they go to me. Their mom. And well, I don’t think there has ever been anything in my life that has been quite so rewarding and humbling. I thank God every day for them and the privilege of being their mom. And all the duties and responsibilities that go with it and that I take on. It’s an honor. Truly.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you feel LOVED and NEEDED!!!

Over doing it …

Reese starts summer school tomorrow. Our district offers a summer session for students with special needs to help keep them on target. I’m very thankful for it! Reese loves school and this is one way to ensure she that keeps that momentum up for the school year. It’s also a shortened school day with lots of fun planned into their academic day. Reese has really enjoyed it the past few years. There is usually just over a week in between the school year ending and summer session starting. I tend to go a little kooky during this time trying to pack a bunch of fun in for her. And this summer I was probably a bit more ridiculous than in the past, HA! And I’m not sure why. This is not her only free summer time. She actually gets about 4-5 weeks at the end of summer with no school. But you know me. I can’t help myself when it comes to my sweet little girl. I want Reese’s life to be magical and fun and full of wonderful experiences. Because let me tell you, in this mom’s eyes, there is absolutely nothing better in the world than seeing her happy.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you over do it!!!

Fresh eyes and some new hope …

Reese and I saw her pediatrician today. Although the appointment had nothing to do with her feeding issues, of course her doctor asked. And I’m glad she did because we brainstormed a little. AND I am excited to report that we have a new consultation scheduled! We have tried it all. Therapies, assessments, scans, (you name it) to figure out why Reese is still not chewing. It has presented as an issue for both her nutrition and her safety. Heck, one of the main reasons I went back to school was to make sure I was doing everything I could to keep her off a feeding tube! Although I’ve been successful with her nutritionally the choking risk remains. And it’s scary. So needless to say, I am THANKFUL for this new opportunity and GRATEFUL to still have more options to explore.

Well, I hope you all have a day where fresh eyes give you new hope!!!

A very special long anticipated wonderful day …

Today Reese started Special Olympics. She will be participating in the Track and Field Games this Spring. I am absolutely, completely and utterly excited! I’ve waited 8 years for this day … needless to say, I’m one happy mommy.

Well, I hope you all have a very special long anticipated wonderful day!!!