My heart is full …

Both my “little” girls had a rough day today. Libs is OVER school, testing and college prep. And I don’t blame her! She definitely needed a BIG mama hug when I picked her up from school. My poor Reese fell twice today. She is not clumsy so when she falls it can really upset her. Falling twice had her in tears the second she saw me at the school gate. My poor baby! My heart hurts for both of them them. But today I was also reminded of what all these rough childhood days can lead to. Like seeing both my BIG kids out there adult-ing like champs today. Trust me, Sid and George had their fair share of rough childhood days too but to see them now, you would never know it. They are so ADULT-ISH. HA! I admit that the cuddles and snuggles that this momma gets to give and get from her “Littles” on yucky days like this can’t be beat. But neither can the joy I feel watching my older kids spread their wings and fly. Today reminds me that EVERY season in life has its ups and downs, but if you push through and lean on the ones who love you then there will be brighter days ahead. I also am reminded of how much love I have in my life. Not just to give, but also what I get back. I’m blessed and so incredibly thankful.

Well, I hope you all have a day where your heart is full!!!

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Thankful, grateful and blessed …

I am heading into this Mother’s Day weekend feeling pretty good so I want to write all of this now. It’s always unknown how the actual day will hit me. I can feel fine going to sleep the night before Mother’s Day and then BAM a blanket of sadness is there in the morning. But right now I feel overwhelmingly blessed and I want to stay focused on what I have, not on what I have lost. I truly have SO much to be thankful for. I’m thankful because I am a mom with the best kids in the world. I am thankful that I have been allowed to share so much of their lives with them. I am thankful I have watched almost three of them now grow to be adults. I absolutely LOVE watching them chase their dreams! And I am thankful that God entrusted me with Reese. I think I needed her just as much as she needed me. Of all the things that I have become in my life, MOTHER, is my favorite. Yes, I lost my mom, and that still hurts after 25 years. But being a mom has healed me so much and has eased my grief in a way that nothing else can. So, I want to give a BIG shout out to Sid, George, Libby and Reese (and, of course, Trevor Sid’s boyfriend too). Thank you. Thank you for taking the broken parts of me and putting me back together again. Thank you for understanding my grief and helping me grow through it. Thank you for readily seeing and honoring grandma’s legacy that has been weaved into each of your lives. You are truly my greatest joy. You are the reason I smile so much and why I laugh so hard. You are my hopes and dreams come true. I couldn’t possibly be me, without all of you. And there is absolutely nothing in this world that I love more than all of you!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you feel thankful, grateful and blessed!!!

Celebrating a lifetime of love and friendship …

Yesterday I went to the wedding of one of my best friends from high school. It was a pretty darn perfect day in my opinion. The weather was gorgeous. The bride and groom were happy. And the reception was a blast! We all had so much fun. And I think the biggest reason why, is that this beautiful couple brought a lot of us together who hadn’t been in been in REAL contact, other than through social media and maybe an occasional event here and there, for a long time. It was so good to see everyone. It was like no time had passed at all. We danced and laughed and joked and talked and shared just like we did over 30 years ago. I think that if decades later you can feel as comfortable with your high school friends, as you did in high school, then you have definitely been blessed with special friendships. I know that I have been and I’m truly thankful.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you celebrate a lifetime of love and friendship!!!

Back to our regularly scheduled programming …

It was a ROUGH week. Reese was in the emergency room TWICE. She’s never been that sick. I don’t think I have worried about her like that since she was 2lbs and in the NICU. It was scary to say the least. Thankfully she is recovering well and is her happy healthy self for the most part. Her appetite and energy aren’t quite back to normal yet, but they are getting there. So needless to say I pretty much abandoned our normal way of life this past week. It’s honestly all a big blur now. Being gone last weekend didn’t help either. I can’t tell you how many times I had to ask what day of the week it was. I was so LOST! But I can’t let a week like this pass without mentioning our VILLAGE. The friends and family who ALWAYS have our back. Their love and support are the REAL DEAL and we are blessed to walk through life when them. They make tough times easier and good times even better. The seasons we have shared with them have weaved into a lifetime of memories that I wouldn’t trade for anything. I honestly couldn’t be more thankful for these beautiful souls!

So, I guess there is only one thing left to do now that things have gone back to normal around here. OK fine, OUR normal. HA!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you get back to your regularly scheduled programming!!!

Kind words …

My 2019 is starting off pretty well. I am feeling super blessed by the people who are walking through this life with me. They are the SWEETEST and they always seem to say exactly what I need to hear.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you hear some kind words!!!

FEELING all the beautiful memories …

It was a quiet morning here. VERY quiet. And I needed it. No one was up early … but me, of course. I knew that would translate into a lot of rushing later but I didn’t care. My kids needed sleep. MY GOSH THEY NEEDED SLEEP. And I needed my moment of holiday calm. I am thankful that each year between parties and performances and late nights and early mornings, I find some time for myself that doesn’t include running shoes, sweat and swearing. This is time I usually find in front of our Christmas tree, under an overly decorated holiday blanket and sipping a seasonal coffee. ALONE. It’s wonderful. It’s needed. It’s what brings the anticipation of Christmas full circle for me. Somewhere between the first sip of my coffee and sunrise a sense of Christmas peace washes over me. I love it. Some years it comes early in the season. Other years, the opportunity comes later. But I don’t ever force it or schedule it. For some reason, I’ve been blessed to have it always come naturally. God is good. He gives me this time when He knows I need it and when I will appreciate it most. It’s honestly a gift.

But this morning was different than years past. Perhaps it’s my age beginning to squeak it’s way into my little tradition. Usually I lose myself in the “calm before the (holiday) storm”, admiring our tree, enjoying my coffee and thankful for the stillness. I guess I did do all of that, but when I looked at our tree I didn’t see a Christmas tree filled with memories. I FELT a Christmas tree filled with memories. What I saw was far greater than just a “decorated” tree … what I saw was a tree that held my family’s history. Ornaments that represented our journey together. I saw marriages, births, deaths, travel, change, laughter, traditions, joy and love! AND I FELT ALL OF IT. I didn’t just see, I FELT. No, this is not merely a Christmas tree we have sitting in our family room. It is some of my most precious life moments celebrated in one very special place … a tree, placed in our home, celebrating our Savior’s birth, who gracefully and graciously gave us the opportunities to share all of those moments together.

The sun rose and bodies started moving. Doors opened and “Good Morning” greetings were spoken. The silence of my little tradition was broken. It is over until next year. And that is OK. I will greet the opportunity, again, like a long lost friend. But this year I will wonder what changed. How did my heart FEEL more clearly the memories held on our tree? Perhaps I will never know. But I do know that I walked away from this experience differently than I usually do. I am more grateful and I am a whole lot more humble. Life is so precious. THIS I KNOW. And this morning I FEEL IT.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you FEEL all your beautiful memories!!!

Thankful, grateful and blessed …

For quite a few years now I have participated in the 30 Days of Thanksgiving Challenge on Facebook. Every day for the month of November you post one thing you are thankful for. When I first started this challenge I could never have imagine how it would effect me. It has honestly become a gift. I absolutely love participating in it. I like to believe that I acknowledge and appreciate my blessings every day, but really putting them out there and owning them for everyone to see is quite a life altering experience. At least it has been for me. Anyway, today was the last day of the challenge and it’s just an incredible reminder of how life doesn’t have to be perfect to still be pretty darn good.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you feel thankful, grateful and blessed!!!