All the feels …

This morning I had a yucky awful terrible run. Those are THE WORST and they usually leave me pretty irritable. About an hour after my run I spoke with my son, George, who is in Germany. This was THE BEST! My spirits were quickly lifted after hearing his voice. I miss him more than words could ever describe and his calls make me feel SO MUCH better. But a little while later Libs sent me a picture of herself after she got her hair styled for her senior portraits that she’s having done later today. This got me CRYING. When did my Little Libby Lu Lamb Chop become this beautiful young woman?!?! Needless to say, my morning has been chocked full of emotions.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you feel all the feels!!!

The happiest person EVER …

Last night I spoke with my son, George, for the first time since he left for Europe four weeks ago. We have been texting daily but we had not talked. I mentioned calling a few times but he’s been very busy and with a 9-hour time difference, it’s been difficult to find a time that worked for both of us. I think delaying our first call probably worked out best since it really allowed him to get settled and adjusted into his life there without me bugging him, HA! Quite unexpectedly, last night things happened to fall into place so that we could talk .. and it was EVERYTHING this mama’s heart needed! YAY!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you feel like the happiest person EVER!!!

I’m back and happy about it …

I took a few months off from writing. Well, I guess I was still writing just not the way I usually do and I didn’t publish anything. It’s the longest break I’ve taken away from my blog since I started it. And although a break was much needed, I did miss it terribly. This blog has very much become a part of me. The daily hope and silliness I seek to write when I am “here” is so valuable to me. It’s a habit that is now hard to break. And that is very good thing.

This summer was all about possibilities, opportunities and change. So I guess I just felt I needed to give myself some time to feel it, figure it out and to grow with it. To put it mildly we have had A LOT going on over here. For starters, I took and completed an herbal apothecary class that I needed to keep up my Nutrition and Wellness Consultant Certification. I absolutely loved the class. I learned SO MUCH. I couldn’t wait to personally add and implement the things I learned into my lifestyle. It definitely took up a chunk of my time but it was well worth it!

We also had a busy summer getting my son, George, ready for his year abroad. He left for Europe a few weeks ago and he’s settled into his dorm now. He’s enjoying the language and cultural summer program he’s enrolled in and will start his university classes in a few weeks. He has made some nice friends and has been able to do some day trips already. I am so happy for him! But as wonderful as all of this is for him, it’s been really hard on this mama’s heart too. I miss him HUGE and the worry is like NO OTHER. But like I always say, there is nothing more beautiful than watching your child chase their dreams. BIG SIGH.

Our summer wasn’t going to be complete without a few visits from my oldest daughter, Sidney. Luckily she had some time before her summer classes started to hang out with us. She lives in the Bay Area full time now and when she visits it’s always a whirlwind. We pack so much in when she is here that it’s shocking. I need at least week to recover when she leaves, HA!

Anyway, we also took a few small local trips for fun and a big trip back East to do some college visits for Libs. That is another season that we are in … again. This is my third senior year as a mom. It’s a time filled with an abundance of heartbreaking LASTS and exciting FIRSTS. Libs has a lot on her plate with school, tennis and performances this next academic year. I hope that she enjoys this time and savors every moment. I know that I will. History reminds me that this will also be an incredibly busy and unpredictable season with the completion of college applications, acceptance letters and decisions to be made. It’s a roller coaster to say the least. Libs has worked hard (this may be the biggest understatement I’ve ever written) to open doors for herself. Now I put my faith in God to decide what doors He will allow her to walk through. As a mom I’m ready for whatever opportunities come her way and I trust that God’s plan for Lib’s future will be good and that she will end up exactly where she needs to be.

On top of all of that I had some big decisions to make this summer about Reese’s schooling. At times, schooling for my typical children was hard to maneuver through, but having a child with special needs, I find that I put a whole different level of pressure on myself. I am so worried about making a mistake. This little girl deserves the best. MY BEST. I am her voice and I am her advocate. Responsibilities that I do not take lightly. As a social worker I typically feel like I know my stuff. I confidently move forward with my decisions once I think I have finally done enough research and had enough meetings and consultations to make the best ones for her. It’s getting to that point that makes for a stressful process. It took months to work out, but plans are set for the next three years and I feel good about them. Thank god.

So between ALL of that, birthdays, holidays and LIFE, I felt that my focus was needed elsewhere. And a lot of elsewhere-s at that! But as usual I severely underestimated my need to write daily. Be it a brief blog entry or a long journal entry, I need it. Writing is the creative outlet that nurtures my brain and my heart equally. I forget how much I process my world and my experiences through writing. And along with running and yoga I find that it’s part of what keeps me happy, healthy, growing and thriving.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you are back doing what you love!!!

You can make it to the finish …

My kids are BUSY. There are a lot of them. And they are heading in all sorts of directions. Libs and Reese have one more week of school left. THANK GOD. Libs had her Farewell Concert last night and her choir banquet is tonight. After that it’s JUST finals. For the record, when finals are used in correlation with the word “just” you know it’s been a heck of a school year. Despite there only being a week left, we still have a lot to work out too. UGH. I have some issues to deal with regarding Reese’s school plan for next year. Along with that I am helping George maneuver through the study abroad program. THAT is a DOOZY. So needless to say, the end of this school year has kicked my mom butt. I keep telling myself it will all be over soon. Which is actually what I tell myself on practically every run and race I’ve ever completed. HA! Anyway, the difference a mere seven days will make is honestly astonishing. School will be out, we will have lots of answers to our questions and Sid will be home. I simply can’t wait.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you make it to the finish!!!

Far away …

Today my son George officially found out that he will be studying abroad his next school year. He will be heading to Germany, and he will be leaving sometime this summer and he will be returning in late Spring 2020. When he sent me a copy of his acceptance letter I literally stopped and wept. My son’s dream came true. And it’s absolutely beautiful. As much as I struggle with the changes that have come with having adult children and the directions we have all been pulled, I can’t help but feel overjoyed. I am so incredibly thankful for the opportunities that have come George’s way. He has worked hard and he has persevered and God has blessed him abundantly. I know that at some point the distance and the time apart will hit me like a ton of bricks. But for now, I’m just going to be happy for my son and grateful that he is living the life that he’s dreamed of.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you get to go FAR AWAY!!!

Stay humble, work hard and relax harder …

Yesterday was my son’s first full day at home in 2 months. I am so HAPPY he is back! He has been very busy at school, so keeping in touch this semester has seemed different. Not difficult and not distant, just different. George has created a nice life for himself at school with friends, clubs, sports and church. And he’s a good student. It’s really all a mom could ever ask for. I honestly couldn’t be happy for him. The thing that blows my mind though, is that he handles almost everything on his own now. Shopping, scheduling, meetings, appointments, etc. It has been such relief to see him take these responsibilities over easily and master being an adult. We have always had a great relationship so thankfully he balances all of that out, still asking for advice and assistance when he really feels he needs it. As a mom, I needed him to get to THIS place in his life NOW. Why? WeIl, if it all works out George will be studying abroad the entire next school year. This is also something he’s handled all on his own. Which has shown me so much about my son. He is driven. He is responsible. He knows what he wants and he is capable of making it all happen. And somehow he maintains an air of humility that is rare to see these days.

Yesterday, we had fun. George loves to cook so we shopped at his favorite butcher’s market to get food for his week home. We planned out our week ahead. And we also started researching and shopping for some of the bigger items he may need for his year abroad. It’s all very exciting! I am so thankful that he includes me in all of that when he can and I am grateful that there are pieces of it that I can still help him with. And it really helps me have a better understanding of what his year away will be like. A familiarity of sorts. I think he knows that including me in what he can somehow makes it all a little easier for me knowing he will be so far away for so long.

If I had to describe my son in one word (it’s really impossible to do that) I would choose KIND. He knows that I will never let my fears hold any of my children back from chasing their dreams. So he does his best to ease my nerves when he can. Even if he has no time in his day, he will find the time to reach out to me if he thinks I’m worried. I appreciate his compassion. And I appreciate him so much.

Yesterday I surprised George by sending him off for his first day spa visit. This was DEFINITELY not something he would have ever planned for himself. Not. At. All. But I sure think he deserved it.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you stay humble, work hard and relax harder!!!