It feels like summer …

Today was our first beach day of the season and it did not disappoint. Even now, after the car has been unloaded, laundry started and I have showered I can still feel it. A day at the beach lingers with me both physically and emotionally. It is probably one of the reasons I love this time of year so much. It’s like a blanket of warmth that goes deep into my soul … and it is sooooo good.

Well, I hope you all had a day that felt like summer!!!

Advertisements

Fear and excitement …

It’s race WEEKEND! I can’t believe it’s finally here. I am riddled with emotions. So much so that I used the word RIDDLED in a sentence! I don’t think I’ve ever done that before, HA!But it fits. I AM PIERCED WITH ALL THE FEELS. God bless my sweet friend who has graciously opened her home to me the next two days and has offered to keep me sane. Good Lordy, she has her work cut out for her.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you are full of fear and excitement!!!

Love and a loss for words …

Happy Mother’s Day everyone! Words can’t express how much I miss my mom. But in a way that comforts me. It means that I loved and still love that woman HUGE. Sometimes you get lucky enough to experience something in life and you get to just FEEL it. For me it’s the motherly love she filled my life with. I can still feel it. But to describe it, explain its’ influence over me and how I feel about loosing her, is not something I’m capable of. It’s just too big. But I try to express it in different ways like living genuinely, just the way she taught me. And in sharing her legacy of hope every single day and at every opportunity I get. It may be 24 years since her passing but her influence on me, my family and our little world will continue on forever. And that is certainly something to celebrate.

Well, I hope you all have a day where love leaves you at a loss for words!!!

Feeling it …

It has been a long week filled with many ups and downs. But really, what week isn’t? I believe that life is best lived when it is felt with raw emotion. When life happens, good or bad, and we must simply “roll with it”. Those times when we are immobilized by fear and sadness. Or when we are overwhelmed with joy and feelings of being loved. When laughter and tears are experienced without force. All of it, real. Genuine. And perfect for the situation that we find ourselves in. It is in these precious moments that I am most alive. Proof, that I am not missing out on the lessons and gifts that life has for me. I love “owning” it. THIS IS MY LIFE. Ugly or beautiful … I wouldn’t trade for anything.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you feel it!!!

Demanding better …

It’s not always easy saying how I feel or asking for what I want. I’m sure we all feel that way sometimes. But as I’ve aged and acquired some wisdom (good lord, really?!?) I have come to realize that if I don’t ask for something or express myself honestly I’ll never fit into my current circumstances … OR, MORE IMPORTANTLY … be allowed to outgrow them. Life is ever changing and so are we. What works at one time in our lives might not work at another. And that’s OK. Sometimes you just have to be honest with yourself and with everyone around you and say I want more, or perhaps, something altogether different. Now granted, just because you ask for something doesn’t mean you’ll get it. But you sure feel better just for trying. It takes a little bit fearlessness to got this route, but reminding yourself that you are worth it, makes it a whole lot easier.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you demand better!!!

Intuition …

I perceive a lot of my world through my feelings. I know many people would say that’s not always good because I can be wrong in how I perceive things. But I am never wrong. NEVER. And I need to remember that.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you listen to your intuition!!!

Emotional …

I dropped Sid off at the airport this morning. She returned to San Francisco and this is the first time we don’t have any idea of when she will be home again. She is finishing up her second semester at the Academy of Art University, is starting a job and looking for an apartment so she can live up there permanently.

Then later in the afternoon G3 and I took his first college tour. I watched as my baby boy had a conversation about his future with the Dean of the Economics Department. And all I could think of was, “Is this really happening?” It seems like just yesterday that he said “I did it” for the very first time. And yet today, he is on the verge of adulthood. 

Surprisingly there are some days when I cannot put my feelings into words. I find that sometimes words alone rob moments of their true nature. And that some of my experiences are so meaningful that FEELING them is the only thing I can really do. Yes … today was one of those days.

Well, I hope you all had a day where you were emotional!!!