GOING FOR IT …

Sometimes goals are hard to make. The fear of failure is REAL. But once you decide to “put it out there” it really does motivate you.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you GO FOR IT!!!

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I refuse to give up …

I’m having a really tired day. Ugh. Granted, I’ve been tired for over six weeks now. But holy moly, I am in no way use to it. Then I get these little gems, days when the fatigue feels magnified by a BAZILLION. This recovery is long. I know it. Heck, I’ve survived it once already in my life. I have a choice, I can either lay on the couch all day OR I can function and LIVE tired. Trust me, when those are your only two options, it kinda sucks. But I refuse to surrender to lifelessness. The fire inside me won’t allow it. I am determined to get stronger. Even my doctor said that the more I do, the stronger I will become. In reason, of course. He said he has no doubt that I will eventually return to my old active self. If that’s not a motivator to get off my couch and give it my best effort every day, I don’t know what is. As hard aS it is to not just lay down and sleep all day, I won’t abandon the me I used to be. I can’t. She’s still in me. I feel her. And, boy oh boy, is she pissed! She wants to be strong again. She wants to be free. She wants to become more of the woman she was meant to be. And so I choose to press on … and yawn. A LOT.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you refuse to give up!!!

Running faster …

I’ve resumed interval training and the best place for me to do this is at the gym on the dreaded treadmill. Yes, I know that I can do it outside where it is less … um … horrible. But the treadmill gives me a consistency that I can’t seem to maintain on my own. I find it easier to transition into and maintain a faster pace. Maybe it’s the energy of the gym that helps me. Or the fact that, yes, yes I am racing anyone who dares take the machine next to me. Or perhaps it’s just my fear of being shot across the room like a stone in a slingshot that motivates me to up my game. Whatever it is, it works.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you run faster!!!

I need one of those football chest bump thingys …

With everything going on in our crazy busy lives over the next 5 days all I can say is that … I … Have … So … Much … To … Do. And I need some seriously hardcore motivation!

Well, I hope you all have a day where someone football chest bump thingy’s you!!!

Facing my fear of failure …

Failure … I’m not even comfortable typing it. Truthfully I don’t think I’ve ever even written about it. Let’s face it, FAILURE is UNpleasant. No one goes out and starts something they plan on failing at. Failure is not ever THE GOAL. But boy oh boy … facing the fear of failure can prove to be quite a valuable lesson. The threat of failure forces us to do many UNpleasant (again, the only word that goes hand and hand with it) things. The worst part of that threat for me are the feelings I have about not becoming who I thought I could be. I’m not a very competitive person unless it’s against myself (OK fine, and with the high school football coach I frequently see on training runs throughout the streets of my city). But in general, I have never found any use in competing with others, about anything. Running is no exception (again, unless “the coach” is visible). Perhaps it’s the “only child” in me or the way I was raised. It has come very naturally for me to live a life focused solely on doing my PERSONAL BEST. And I think it has served me well. BUT when you live this way, you soon realize it is ALL on you. And I don’t know about anyone else, but I can be REALLY REALLY mean to me. I can be not very nice to myself when I’m staring down not achieving a goal I set for myself. And that, again, is quite unpleasant. In regards to marathon training, you have to surrender to the fact that you need to push yourself physically beyond anything you ever thought normal or rational to succeed. To leave IT all out there and trust God to put you back together after it’s all
over … assuming there is anything left of you to put back, HA! You have to look failure in the face and say YOU ARE NOT WELCOMED HERE TODAY. Failure … the fear of it will definitely make or break you. I’m going to choose to face my fears about failure and allow the process to change me. To allow the threat of failure to mold me, push me and help me become … just a little bit more of me.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you have no other option than to SUCCEED!!!

… passionately living my miracle.

We have it for our spouses, lovers and partners. We feel it fiercely when we love and protect our children. Passion. I think it’s what makes us feel most alive. But what about the passion that inexplicably drives us? That thing that draws us, like a moth to light, to follow our dreams. That piece of us that no one else quite seems to understand … but us.  A teammate of mine recently sent me something about just this thing. I wish I could find it, and when I do, I will post it here … because it spoke to me. The gist of the work was this: there is a fire that lives inside all of us. It’s passion. It’s that element of us that drives us to do something … and LOVE what we are doing. It can’t be explained. It’s just part of us. The work talked about how this is the God part of us. I loved that! The author said that this PASSION is a God-given gift and should be considered a miracle. WOW! As the day of my fifth marathon approaches (YIKES, ONLY 16 DAYS AWAY) … I understand this just a little bit more than usual. For many decades I dismissed my dream, my passion … I pushed it aside … and said, “one day”. About 9 years ago when I started running more seriously … my passion was fueled again. I thought about becoming a marathoner more and more … until one day about three years ago when I was dropping off one of my daughters at school … I saw it. The coveted 26.2 sticker on the back of the car in front of me in the drop off line. All of suddenly it became so clear to me. It. Was. Time. And there was no denying it despite how much I rationalized all the reasons I shouldn’t. The bottom line is … God spoke to me … and I had no choice in listening.  It became an active part of me right then and there. Yes, running is my passion. Not everyone gets it. Not everyone supports it. But you know what??? God does. He gave me this passion … my very own miracle happening inside of my body … and that’s all that matters to me.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you PASSIONATELY live your miracle!!!