A season of change …

I woke up about 4:30 this morning and I immediately felt a difference. The air was colder. And not because the air conditioning was set too low. This was the real deal. Our house was colder because the temperature outside has dropped. I didn’t have to get up get so I buried myself in my blankets and started thinking.

Things are changing … again.

I have prepared myself for all that is coming over this next year. Actually, I guess I’ve more “braced myself” for it and surrendered to the unknown. HA! We’re going to have some wonderful adventures and a whole lot of clarity coming our way about many different things. I’m truly excited about all of it. Overwhelmed by about half of it. And maybe even a little sad about some of it. But I keep reminding myself that things are going to turn out the way they’re meant to be. That regardless of time or distance, the people who I love most, will be where they need to be, doing what they need to do, and becoming more of who they’re meant to be. I can’t complain about that.

I got out of bed, threw on my running clothes and headed out to get my miles in. But I was stopped quite unexpectedly. I felt IT the second I opened up our front door. It took my breath away. There it was. Cool crisp air that wasn’t there a few days ago. Although we won’t see or feel a true Autumn in our area for a few more months our mornings will reflect it much sooner. As a runner I will enjoy the cooler weather. And this year I will allow it to gently remind me that change has, in fact, begun.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you feel your seasons change!!!

Perfectly …

Today is my daughter Libby’s 17th birthday. To say that time has passed quickly since the day she was born is an understatement. I remember her beginning like it was yesterday.

I was standing in a deli after church on a Sunday morning when I realized that I was pregnant with Libs. I had just prayed the day before, that if the timing was PERFECT, that I would love to have another baby one day. Life was definitely not perfect at that time. I had just returned back to work and was loving the contract that I took with a local hospital. My head was in a different place. Yet there I was in that deli, already stricken with ALL DAY sickness and knowing that I was headed into what would likely be my third high-risk pregnancy. NOT the perfect time but it definitely all turned out PERFECTLY! God knew that our family needed Libs and He knew exactly when we would need her. I saw God move so much when I was pregnant with her. It was truly miraculous. And she came in God’s PERFECT timing. Libs was born into this world to a room full of laughter. All of us, doctors and nurses included, were laughing and having a wonderful time. Her birth was honestly like a party. I remember when I first held her, I felt an unexplainable familiarity with her. I felt like I had held her my whole life. She fit PERFECTLY into my arms, my heart and our family. I can’t imagine us without her! Libs is one of the funniest people you will ever know. I love how she sees and relates to this world. She is genuine and honest. She has always been a justice-seeker and she is incredibly fair. Libs is a gifted artist and brilliant, but most of all, Libs is kind and compassionate. This girl has a HUGE heart. I couldn’t be more proud of the young woman that she has become and of all the things that she has already accomplished. Life will take a lot of twists and turns for her over this next year. But I have no doubt that her future will turn out exactly how she came into this world … perfectly.

Well, I hope you all have a day where things turn out PERFECTLY!!!

I’m back and happy about it …

I took a few months off from writing. Well, I guess I was still writing just not the way I usually do and I didn’t publish anything. It’s the longest break I’ve taken away from my blog since I started it. And although a break was much needed, I did miss it terribly. This blog has very much become a part of me. The daily hope and silliness I seek to write when I am “here” is so valuable to me. It’s a habit that is now hard to break. And that is very good thing.

This summer was all about possibilities, opportunities and change. So I guess I just felt I needed to give myself some time to feel it, figure it out and to grow with it. To put it mildly we have had A LOT going on over here. For starters, I took and completed an herbal apothecary class that I needed to keep up my Nutrition and Wellness Consultant Certification. I absolutely loved the class. I learned SO MUCH. I couldn’t wait to personally add and implement the things I learned into my lifestyle. It definitely took up a chunk of my time but it was well worth it!

We also had a busy summer getting my son, George, ready for his year abroad. He left for Europe a few weeks ago and he’s settled into his dorm now. He’s enjoying the language and cultural summer program he’s enrolled in and will start his university classes in a few weeks. He has made some nice friends and has been able to do some day trips already. I am so happy for him! But as wonderful as all of this is for him, it’s been really hard on this mama’s heart too. I miss him HUGE and the worry is like NO OTHER. But like I always say, there is nothing more beautiful than watching your child chase their dreams. BIG SIGH.

Our summer wasn’t going to be complete without a few visits from my oldest daughter, Sidney. Luckily she had some time before her summer classes started to hang out with us. She lives in the Bay Area full time now and when she visits it’s always a whirlwind. We pack so much in when she is here that it’s shocking. I need at least week to recover when she leaves, HA!

Anyway, we also took a few small local trips for fun and a big trip back East to do some college visits for Libs. That is another season that we are in … again. This is my third senior year as a mom. It’s a time filled with an abundance of heartbreaking LASTS and exciting FIRSTS. Libs has a lot on her plate with school, tennis and performances this next academic year. I hope that she enjoys this time and savors every moment. I know that I will. History reminds me that this will also be an incredibly busy and unpredictable season with the completion of college applications, acceptance letters and decisions to be made. It’s a roller coaster to say the least. Libs has worked hard (this may be the biggest understatement I’ve ever written) to open doors for herself. Now I put my faith in God to decide what doors He will allow her to walk through. As a mom I’m ready for whatever opportunities come her way and I trust that God’s plan for Lib’s future will be good and that she will end up exactly where she needs to be.

On top of all of that I had some big decisions to make this summer about Reese’s schooling. At times, schooling for my typical children was hard to maneuver through, but having a child with special needs, I find that I put a whole different level of pressure on myself. I am so worried about making a mistake. This little girl deserves the best. MY BEST. I am her voice and I am her advocate. Responsibilities that I do not take lightly. As a social worker I typically feel like I know my stuff. I confidently move forward with my decisions once I think I have finally done enough research and had enough meetings and consultations to make the best ones for her. It’s getting to that point that makes for a stressful process. It took months to work out, but plans are set for the next three years and I feel good about them. Thank god.

So between ALL of that, birthdays, holidays and LIFE, I felt that my focus was needed elsewhere. And a lot of elsewhere-s at that! But as usual I severely underestimated my need to write daily. Be it a brief blog entry or a long journal entry, I need it. Writing is the creative outlet that nurtures my brain and my heart equally. I forget how much I process my world and my experiences through writing. And along with running and yoga I find that it’s part of what keeps me happy, healthy, growing and thriving.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you are back doing what you love!!!

Donuts and life …

The truth is that I have been into health and fitness since I was 12 years old. And a donut lover for even longer than that. The summer that I turned 12 was pivotal in my life. I started watching the Richard Simmons show and I was hooked. I began exercising outside of school PE classes and started experimenting on my own in the kitchen with healthy recipes. The life I laid out for myself that summer, stuck. I’m not saying that I didn’t eat junk food like every other teenager, I did. But that is when I learned that there can be both if I leaned more toward making healthy choices most of the time. This carried on for years and even crept its way into my career when I was given the opportunity to work with bariatric patients prior to and after their weight loss surgeries.

So why do I bring all this up?

Because today is National Donut Day. And as much as running, exercising and eating right is a part of my life, so has this favorite childhood food. Jelly donuts will ALWAYS stir up fond memories of yesteryear for me. Memories of New York (I was born there), my mom, my grandmother, and little pink bakery boxes tied with string. I love that weeks like this I am literally a walking oxymoron. With Running Day and Donut Day all occurring in one week, I feel like I get to celebrate the things that stir up a lot of wonderful memories for me. A lifetime of them really. And that is pretty cool.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you love the life you have created and get to eat a donut too!!!

I can’t wait …

This evening my son George is coming home from college after finishing up his sophomore year. Sid is done with her semester next week. I also realized today that Libs and Reese only have three more Fridays left in their school year. The anticipation of summer and all its’ adventures is just so EXCITING!!!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you CAN’T WAIT!!!

Peace and quiet …

I think I write more about Sunday mornings than any other day or time of the week. They are my favorite. Somehow, they always start off quietly. It honestly shocks me every week. This house, despite only having Libs and Reese here on the regular now, gets LOUD and BUSY. There is music and activity, clatter and energy. There is our familiar busyness of gathering (our STUFF) and going (to who knows where). Stillness here is RARE. This house is truly alive. And when everyone is home, it’s down right electric. But on Sunday morning, seemingly without fail, it sleeps. And it’s wonderful.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you can enjoy some peace and quiet!!!

Someone to walk through life with …

Happy Siblings Day everyone! I am an only child who loved it, but only until I got older. I would have loved to have had a sibling or two to help me through some tough times and to share in all the good. Heck, I still want that! You can’t help but see that there is something special about that bond. I’ll never personally experience it but I can tell you how beautiful it is from a mother’s perspective. I am so thankful that my kids have each other! I love how they experience the world independently yet together. They will ALWAYS have someone on their side, a cheerleader, a defender and a best friend. It gives me so much peace of mind!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you have someone to walk through life with!!!