22 miles full of laughter …

This morning I ran my final long run for my training for the Ventura Marathon. Training doesn’t end, it just tapers over the next three weeks. Miles go down, so your body has time to recover from what you just did to it, HA!

I don’t care who you are, running 22 miles is never easy … not for anyone. That saying, “If it were easy, everyone would do it” is driven home for me on days like this. Distance running is hard … that kind of distance is brutal. Add in the summer heat and it’s hell.

But. I love it. All of it. The good. The bad. And the ugly. And my 22-miler today was ugly … and rather funny.

There is not much more to say about my run this morning than I already did on my personal page on Facebook. So I guess I’ll just share what I posted here too. No candy coating, I promise. Just some raw honesty. Here goes:

22 miles, on weary legs, a questionable foot, in the dead heat of summer. This is how it all went down:

Mile 1: I feel great, nothing hurts! You got this girl!

Mile 2: Nice pace … don’t be stupid.

Mile 5: Left foot says, “Hey lady, remember me?” … SHUT UP FOOT!

Mile 7: Snot drips into my mouth and an RV with a very hot and smelly exhaust passes me … I die … just a little.

Mile 9: weather.com was wrong. Very.

Mile 10: I ate a whole quarter cup
of pumpkin seeds without gagging. Go me.

Mile 11: Side cramp and a little gagging. Damn pumpkin seeds.

Mile 13.1: Half marathoner … again … WOOT! Singing and happy 🙂

Mile 15: The emotional mile. I love my family and my friends. I cry. Good lord woman, hold it together.

Mile 16: In your face haters! I am #bitchen

Mile 17: Blisters and I am going to lose at least two toenails.

Mile 18: Simple math is lost to me. I am pretty sure 18 is close to 22.

Mile 19: I am down to two pieces of clothing. If I remove any more I will go to jail … is jail air conditoned? Doesn’t sound so bad. #ihatesummer

Mile 21: Everything hurts. I am pretty sure I’m bleeding but I can’t figure out where. There is no joy in this mile. None.

Mile 22: Finished. I am thankful for all the loving and supportive people in my life, for the cold wet grass that is my front lawn, for neighbors who have learned not to call 911 and for running. Running: that amazing thing that shreds me physically and emotionally, but always seems to put me back together just a little bit better than I was before.

22 miles … DONE.

Well, there you have it. My 22-miler in a silly nutshell. There were many times I really didn’t think I was going to make it this far into my training. So many people are responsible for helping me get here. It truly humbles me. So so so many lessons I got to experience along these training miles. Again, I am humbled. I am grateful to still be leaning and growing as a runner. But most of all, I’m thankful to see the humor in all the mishaps. Yes, I love running THAT much. Even the awfulness I have come to appreciate. My mom taught me how to do that. She told me that life is not fair or predictable. That I will face some nasty situations (and people) in life. That things will not go my way. But I have a choice. I can quit and become bitter or … I can be happy and move forward. Yep, I blame my mom … and I would have my life no other way. Thanks mom 🙂

Well, I hope you a have a day where you choose keep on laughing!!!

Patience, demons and having what it takes …

It seems like every time I come to San Francisco, I set out to prove something to myself. I ran my first marathon here, completing a dream I had lost long ago. I became a Marathon Maniac here, proving to myself that although I might get knocked down it won’t ever stop me from living a life beyond my wildest dreams. And now … tomorrow I will run in the first half of the San Francisco Marathon and will get to run over the Golden Gate Bridge. Something I have wanted to do for some time now. This is also my first race as a 46 year old … and I’d be lying if I told you that my mother isn’t on my mind. She is.

I have written before that my mother was dying at my age. Some days I can’t put how all that feels into words. It’s one of the reasons I decided to run the full marathon at Ventura. Sure, I’m not as fast as I was, I may not PR and my foot may still take me out of it altogether somewhere on that race course. BUT you know what? I’m going to do it anyway. I’m going to try because at my age my mom couldn’t … and she would want me to. Each step I take these days feels like they are as much for her as they are for me. Yes. I’m battling a few demons this year. Don’t ya think?!?!

So anyway, what am I proving to myself tomorrow?

It’s pretty simple really, yet horribly complicated too. Tomorrow I prove to myself that I can be patient, when patience matters most.

Tomorrow I will not PR, I won’t even come close. There are many reasons why but the main one is that I can’t lay it all out there tomorrow if I want to do my best at Ventura. It’s hard to explain the science of marathoning because I don’t completely understand all the logistics, but I do get that running half marathon pace and marathon pace are a big difference. Pushing one, when you should be running the other is a bad thing. And so tomorrow, I will hold back and run at my expected marathon pace which is slower than my half marathon pace. I will focus on the bigger picture … even though I don’t want to.

And here is why. I love running, but I ABSOLUTELY LOVE marathoning. And if I want to become the type of marathoner I so badly want to be, I need to act like it. I need to run smart and stay focused on what I REALLY want.

Patience … yes … tomorrow it’s about patience … oh … and probably about facing a few demons too.

Well, I hope you all had a day where you feel ready to prove you have what it takes!!!

16 miles and a leap of faith …

Tomorrow I am running 16 miles. From here on out, if I continue to train for the full marathon at Ventura (goodness don’t get me started again, HA!) my miles will reach levels I have grown not to fear, but to respect. And my training becomes a whole new “can of worms”. Every long run detail becomes so much more important. Preparation … essential. Recovery … necessary. Fatigue and a certain level of discomfort are guaranteed. Determination is a must. Regardless of how fast I end up running, it gets hard. Really hard.

But I love it. I look forward to the challenge and enjoy the thrill of pushing my limits. Week after week I will go to sleep knowing I DID MY BEST under the circumstances I given. It’s a satisfaction I can’t really explain … but it keeps me coming back for more.

I am hopeful things will go well for me over the next few weeks. That my foot feels healthy and my pace gets better. Taking into consideration all the muscle fatigue that accumulates will make this evaluation a little tricky. But that’s when my biggest challenge in this training will come … and I’ll be ready.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you are ready to take a leap of faith!!!