Happily waiting on my miracles …

I went to the orthopedist today and got the “Okay” to run again. I was so nervous waiting for them to read my x-rays I was on the verge of tears. But I got the best news I possibly could have and I couldn’t be more thankful.

Truthfully, it was a long shot that my bone would be healed enough to get out of the boot. I was in it just over three weeks. Usually a broken bone takes 8-10 weeks to heal, but for some reason I had some crazy amount of bone growth. So much so that they even asked what I had been doing to get this kind of healing. Honestly, the only thing I did differently was that I added turmeric to my daily supplements. Otherwise I just did a whole lot of hoping. I think we forget that our heart and souls have a lot to do with our healing. Our attitudes and our outlooks matter quite a bit more than we give them credit for. At least that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

I know that I have a long way to go until race day. This was quite a setback, to say the least. But I am still in this thing. The Twin Cities Marathon may not be what I had hoped it would be, but if I have learned one thing in this life lesson, it’s this: sometimes what we hope for isn’t what we need at that very moment in our lives. That sometimes we have to trust that God and the Universe have set us on the right course; the path meant to fuel our passions and to ultimately help us live out our miracles.

I don’t know about you guys, but I think that my miracles are very much worth the wait.

Well, I hope you all had a day where you couldn’t be happier!!!

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A miraculous healing …

I have mentioned that I have a pretty bad case of arthritis in my right foot. I have broken this foot before and it’s just generally a jacked up foot. I need to take the time to have the surgery it needs to get it “cleaned out”, but … um … no. At least “no”, not right now.

Anyway, having my foot in a boot initially scared me to pieces because with the arthritis my foot needs to move to keep the flexibility. I was worried without the bending and moving my foot would “seize up” and make running impossible. But the break in my foot took priority, needing the stability to heal. I was just left hoping that the arthritis wasn’t going to get any worse.

Well, I have NO CLUE how this all worked out the way it did, or why, but I started noticing that I was having absolutely no pain from the arthritis. This is HUGE because I usually have some pain, every day, to varying degrees. Then today I took a small walk minus the boot. I was a little freaked but decided I needed to have something to tell the doctor next week about how my foot REALLY feels. So I walked and when I was walking I realized that the flexibility in the joint with the most arthritis is … um … WAY MORE flexible than it has been in YEARS! Now I couldn’t get all BENDY with it because the fracture is literally straight across my foot from the arthritis, but I could visually see a difference! I can’t explain ANY of it, it truthfully makes NO sense! NONE. ZIP. But who cares! I am so HAPPY! No, not “happy”, I am THRILLED!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you had a miraculous healing!!!

Thankful to have to try, try again (even if the gym is closed) … 

I have chosen to keep a pretty darn positive attitude regarding my foot. And up until this morning, I had not wavered from it.

I’m going to tell you a little secret. It IS NOT easy to try to see that everything will turn out fine. That things have a way of working themselves out. To have faith in learning and life. I CHOOSE to think this way. From an outsider’s perspective I’m sure I look a little nuts. Heck, I have even been asked (quite a few times) if my outlook comes from good meds! Nope outsiders, I don’t do drugs and I’m not crazy. Accept it, this is just how I roll.

But I am human. And today I just about had a hysterical sobbing fit in the parking lot of my CLOSED gym.

Over the past 17 years of having children my training or working out has been done while they are asleep or in school. There are some occasions when they are with me too, like when I used to do my miles on the beach with Libs when she was a baby. Or now, when we go to yoga together. I just never felt right about taking time away from them to get it all done. I supposed “mother guilt” drives that. But to avoid it, I often wake up at “undead” hours of the morning. I am a pretty motivated person when it comes to this stuff, so it hasn’t bothered me. I love the quiet of the early morning. I have enjoyed more sunrises that I could ever count. And that feeling of replenished “me” sets the tone for the rest of my day.

Anyway, because of summer schedules and my foot, I have been very much out of my routine. And I HATE it. But now that all is settled (for a few weeks at least) I was excited to have today be my first early long cycling session at the gym.

When my alarm went off this morning I was up and at it! I practically flew out the door I was so excited. But when I got to the gym the parking lot was completely empty … and my heart sank. With the changing of my running miles to cycling miles I am dependent on my gym. I was told I can cycle but only on a recumbent bike and the gym is my only option.

However, it never occurred to me that I have not been to my gym on a Saturday. NOT ONCE since I have joined. I am always out doing my long runs on Saturday. But boy oh boy, did I realized it this morning! I couldn’t believe that all the times I have been there at 5 a.m. have been on a weekday. Who knew?!?! Definitely NOT ME.

So I sat there in my car for a few minutes. First, utterly frustrated at myself. Then, overwhelmed with the thoughts of having to modify my training days (AGAIN) to get these longer “rides” in. And then finally, a sadness washed over me. 

I wanted to run.

I just wanted to be able to go back to my early morning runs. To throw on my running shoes and be out the door. To do what I love, and have it be THAT easy again.

As I sat there feeling badly for myself, I thought that maybe this was THE SIGN. The one that tells me to just give up. To forget Twin Cities. TO MOVE ON. To find another race, another place, another time. But I just couldn’t remain in those thoughts.

I guess I have trained my mind and my heart to think and feel differently. Maybe it’s just part of my chemical make up. But I looked in the seat beside me. My walking boot with my earbuds, armband, water and towel. And I realized … there is a lesson here. There is value in this setback. Amongst all that STUFF and all my emotions, there is something in what happened to me that I must learn from. Perhaps mastering the two steps outside my front door should be at the top of that list, HA!

So, I took a deep breath, drove home, climbed back into bed and got some extra rest.

I have to be honest with you, I’m not sure what lessons I’m learning with this one. I almost wish my injury came from overtraining and not tweaking my foot the wrong way stepping off my porch. I could wrap my head around an injury that came from one too many long runs. This one, has me baffled. But that’s OK, because I am willing to figure it all out … and continue to do as I do … gratefully.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you are thankful to have to TRY TRY AGAIN!!!

Believing my own delusions …

Whoa. I think I may have taken this Bob the Boot thing a little too seriously for my subconscious to handle. When I was driving on the freeway earlier today I almost got into the carpool lane.

Um.

It was just me and Bob, who was sitting in the front seat. I would love to have seen me explain THAT to a highway patrol officer.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you aren’t starting to believe your own delusions!!!

Full of hope … 

Well, this morning I took my first trip to the gym with the boot. I am being allowed to sub my running miles on the recumbent bike. It leans back and doesn’t put any pressure or weight on your feet. As much as I hate it, it is a life saver. TRULY. I also found a version of P90X modified for people with foot injures and who are required to use a walking boot. Between the two, I have to say, that I had a KICK BUTT work out! Best part ?!?! I had virtually no pain whatsoever in my foot. I am even three days post my last pain meds. Which was a whole plethora of anxiety in and of itself. I hate taking ANYTHING. But the pain in my foot was so bad it was causing nausea and migraines. So needless to say, I took them. 

Boy oh boy, I was super scared this morning. I wasn’t sure how this was all going down, or if any of the modifications would make me feel like I am doing enough to keep this hair-brained idea of mine alive. But it is! I still see that start line in my future. And I am going to do whatever I can to be there and be healthy enough to run that course. Twin Cities Marathon … I am STILL on my way!!!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you are full of hope!!!