Making myself feel better …

I ALWAYS miss Sid and George when they are off at college, but Sunday mornings are worse. WAY WORSE. Our house is far more quiet than it normally is and there are less people to cook breakfast for. I guess it’s like that all week when they are gone, but Sunday, it all just seems to effect me more. BIG SIGH. It might sound silly, but when I feel down like this I drink my coffee out of one of the Northern California mugs that they have given me. It somehow makes me feel closer to them … and THAT makes me happy.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you make yourself feel better!!!

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It never gets easier …

George went back to school last weekend, and today, Sid leaves too. BIG HUGE SIGH.

Well, I hope you all have a day where love never let’s it get easier!!!

The sound of four …

This morning I woke up in another hotel room. It's been too many to count this summer. I'm not complaining, it's been fun. But there is an unfamiliarity you must overcome each and every time you travel. You look for ways to make it feel like home. For me, it's in the little things.

When you travel with kids it can be challenging. When you travel with 4 kids, it's REALLY challenging. But I love it. I love doing anything with my kids. They make life fun. And they give a familiarity to these very unfamiliar places. As a mom I know their every sound. I can tell who-is-who in the dead of night just by the sound of their breathing and moving. It is the sound of my life for almost twenty years now.

This morning I woke up before everyone else, as usual. As I wandered around quietly from room to room, getting myself ready, I could hear my children sleeping. And while these sounds were familiar, I got a little sad. These sounds will change soon. Very soon. Two will be gone. They will be off to college and sleeping in their new rooms away from home. I know this. Heck, this is the whole purpose of this trip. But it hit me all at once … even the sound of our lives is changing. I took a minute to sit and listen. To take it all in so I can remember what it sounds like to have them all together with me. Again, as they get older, I know that moments like these will soon be a thing of the past. And that's OK. It's life how it should be. And I wouldn't want it any other way. I can't deny that it hurts. There is pain in this process, but for them, I'll endure it. And for one more morning, I'll just be thankful for what life sounds like now.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you hear the sweet sound of family!!!

K-Cups and some tears …

We all drink different coffees in the house, which is why I feel that the Keurig is just about the best invention ever made for a busy family of coffee drinkers. We use that thing of beauty ALL day long. So you could image that yesterday when I found K-cups on sale for $5.99 a box I got quite excited. I even found my son George’s favorite, Starbucks Italian Roast. We have actually had a hard time finding it lately so I bought three boxes, one for home and two to pack in his things for college. I did all this without really thinking about it. Until this morning. And the it hit me hard. REAL hard.

I woke up early this morning and decided to make a big breakfast for my family. As I was busy preparing things I decided to stop and stock our K-Cup holder. I started with George’s Italian Roast … and I began to cry. The box contained just enough K-Cups to get him through until the day he leaves for college. Oh, yeah. I cried.

It’s moments like these that I question my sanity. How can K-Cups reduce a grown woman to tears? Clearly this can’t be even remotely normal! I ultimately calmed my insanity worries by remembering that a mother’s love knows no boundaries. This love is THE REAL DEAL. We love over time. Across the miles. Through joy and laughter. And in sadness and tears. We LOVE a BIG love. It’s shocking when you first experience it too. I believe that prior to having children women can only fathom this love. They know it will be strong and forever. But HOLY MOLY, when that baby becomes your reality, you are CONSUMED with a love you have never known. Understatedly, it’s wonderful. And once you have experienced this MOM LOVE you wouldn’t know what to do without it … because that love seeps into EVERY aspect of your being. Even into your morning coffee.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you share a cup of coffee with someone who gave you the gift of love!!!

I cried a little …

Today George and I went and did some back to school shopping. Correction. Off to college shopping. He leaves in just two short weeks. I haven’t allowed myself to really think about it all yet. But today it all creeped in my thoughts. And it made me sad.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you don’t cry a little!!!

I cried my eyes out …

I booked the restaurant for George’s graduation party.

I bought decorations for George’s graduation party.

I bought a dress for George’s graduation ceremony and party.

I looked through dorm room supply catalogs.

BIG SIGH.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you don’t cry your eyes out!!!

Groundhog Day and it seems just like yesterday … 

Twenty-tree years ago today my mother passed away. Some years it’s easier to deal with this “anniversary” … others are not. But it’s never a good day. The memories always come flooding back. The pain and sadness that day brought is unusually fresh. How my life was forever changed, vivid. She wasn’t just my mother. She was my best friend, my confidante, a giver of unconditional love, my hero … and she is gone. I miss her and love her as much as I did that day. Probably even more. And it’s horrible. There is a movie called Groundhog Day staring Bill Murray. It came out in 1993, the year before my mother died. It’s about a man who must repeat a particular day in his life (Groundhog Day) until he gets it right. I know how this character must have felt. This day never changes for me either. Except for the part about getting it right. I will never have the ability to make this day right in my heart. Not. Ever.

Well, I hope you all have a day where it seems just like yesterday!!!