If I had to describe this past school year I would describe it as CHALLENGING. It started off as any other year had … and then craziness ensued. Getting sick is one of the most selfish things I could have ever done to my kids, my family and my friends. It derailed all of us.
Do I really believe it was my fault?
No. Of course not. But I still feel a tremendous sense of guilt especially when it comes to my kids. They needed me and there were days when I could hardly lift my head. My heart broke each time I couldn’t do something for them. I was angry when they had to struggle without me. They had to step it up and do so much on their own. Things that I normally would do for them or with them. They missed out on our talks. Moments that they used to deflate from their day or share their excitements. They handled stress and problems without me. Again. It broke me.
Today my son George graduates from high school. Goodness I love this kid of mine! He is gentle, kind, compassionate and brilliant. And throughout this past school year he grew into so much more. He matured naturally but also because he had to. He didn’t fight it. He never acted out. He wasn’t bitter. He just went with it. He helped so much. He took on so much. And he accomplished so much. As painful (and wonderful) as it is to admit this, my baby boy grew up in what seems like a few short months. He had to.
Today feels surreal. I want to cry because it’s over and cry from a sense of relief. This was a tough school year but George did it. He finished despite the curve balls life threw at us. And he somehow managed to thrive.
If we are lucky, as parents, sometimes we get a glimpse of reassurance that our kids are READY to take on the world. They get it. They can do this. Those moments when we see clearly that they are exactly what God meant them to be in this time and in this place. I gratefully had many of these moments this school year. They came as a result of time and nature but also out of pain and need. I don’t believe anything happens by chance so I cannot look back on this school year bitterly. All the events that unfolded have delivered us to this day. My baby boy’s graduation day. He got here precisely how he needed to and in a way that has left him better and more capable. What an amazing young man he has become. Indeed.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you are proud!!!
When your kid puts themselves “out there”, leaving their comfort zone and taking a chance. No matter what the outcome, as a parent, you really can’t help but feel one way.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you feel proud!!!
Today we registered G3 for his senior year in high school. Between taking his senior portraits last week and this, there is no denying it … I am not handling this any better than I did when Sid experienced all of it. The same feelings of excitement, pride, loss and grief are doing battle in my heart again. My little boy has become a brilliant young man with an amazing future ahead of him. I truly couldn’t be happier. But I am also saddened by the changes that I know are coming. I also grieve for the time that seems to have passed so quickly. My memories return to my newborn son’s tiny hands … that are now bigger than mine. My shy, sweet Hammy Handsome is now a confident man ready to take on the world. And yet I can’t help but think of those precious times when he wore Thomas the Tank sneakers and when he told me “I did it” for the very first time. Yes, my baby boy … you DID do it. And mommy couldn’t be prouder of you.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you are happily heartbroken!!!
Some days my kiddos just impress the heck out of me. Today G3 started P90X all on his own and Libs tackled her first day of tennis camp in this crazy heat. Neither tasks were easy to accomplish but they did it! Even after feeling the magnitude of the challenges they have chosen to tackle, both kids still remain eager to keep with their summer fitness goals. Gotta love their determination!
Well, I hope you all have day where you are proud!!!
Earlier today I wasn’t able to make it to the gym to get my miles in. I thought perhaps I would just skip it all together, but life has allowed me to surround myself with some of the most inspiring friends and family a girl could ever ask for. So at 9 p.m. this evening I walked through the gym doors to get those 18 miles done.
Because I want this and I want it BAD. I want to show up AND conquer the Twin Cities Marathon. I want to make my family, my mentors, my friends and myself proud on race day. I want there to be no doubt that I wanted THIS bad enough. And that I did EVERYTHING within my power to achieve my goals. Whether I fail miserably or exceed my wildest expectations, I want to know that I did my best.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you are determined!!!