Letting go (and crying AGAIN) …

It's getting close. REAL close. George's college move-in date is just next week. Again, this whole process is absolutely exciting and also utterly heartbreaking. How I view HOME is going to, once again, change. It is a change that does not come easily or without pain. At least not for me.

I have always had a great relationship with George. Conversations come easy. We are close. He knows how much I love him and how much I want for him. I couldn't be prouder of the man he has become. He is ready to take on the world. He knows that I believe that he has what it takes to achieve all
of his goals and more. To put it simply, we have talked it all out.

But there is one conversion I had not had with George yet. At least not until yesterday. And boy, it was a DOOZY.

Yesterday Facebook memories reminded me that I had the same conversation with Sidney two years ago just before she left for college. It was to date, the most painful and difficult conversation I had ever had as a parent. But it had to be done … for her. I had planned on having the same conversation with George this week so I decided that yesterday was as good a day as any to have it. Yes, I decided that yesterday was going to be THAT day, and I gave myself permission not to like any of it.

So yesterday I had, for the second time in my life, the hardest most difficult conversation I have ever had with my child. I looked at George and I told him that no matter where life took him, wherever I was, he would always have a home with me. That he would be welcomed back, loved, and cared for. And then I took a big breath, held back my tears (not very well) and told him that it was also OK if he chose to just make his return home a pit stop. Temporary. Short. Brief. I told him that if his life and his dreams lead him on long or frequent travels to far away places, that I would understand. I told him to enjoy every second of his journeys. To truly LIVE and LEARN. To explore the world and find where he fits. And most importantly, I told him to take chances because great things didn't happen to people who always played it "safe". And then I explained to him why, despite all the heartache, I felt this way. I told him that my love for him has allowed me to find great joy in knowing that he is chasing his dreams and becoming the man he has envisioned … even if all of it takes him away from me.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you let go!!!

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