Letting go (and crying AGAIN) …

It's getting close. REAL close. George's college move-in date is just next week. Again, this whole process is absolutely exciting and also utterly heartbreaking. How I view HOME is going to, once again, change. It is a change that does not come easily or without pain. At least not for me.

I have always had a great relationship with George. Conversations come easy. We are close. He knows how much I love him and how much I want for him. I couldn't be prouder of the man he has become. He is ready to take on the world. He knows that I believe that he has what it takes to achieve all
of his goals and more. To put it simply, we have talked it all out.

But there is one conversion I had not had with George yet. At least not until yesterday. And boy, it was a DOOZY.

Yesterday Facebook memories reminded me that I had the same conversation with Sidney two years ago just before she left for college. It was to date, the most painful and difficult conversation I had ever had as a parent. But it had to be done … for her. I had planned on having the same conversation with George this week so I decided that yesterday was as good a day as any to have it. Yes, I decided that yesterday was going to be THAT day, and I gave myself permission not to like any of it.

So yesterday I had, for the second time in my life, the hardest most difficult conversation I have ever had with my child. I looked at George and I told him that no matter where life took him, wherever I was, he would always have a home with me. That he would be welcomed back, loved, and cared for. And then I took a big breath, held back my tears (not very well) and told him that it was also OK if he chose to just make his return home a pit stop. Temporary. Short. Brief. I told him that if his life and his dreams lead him on long or frequent travels to far away places, that I would understand. I told him to enjoy every second of his journeys. To truly LIVE and LEARN. To explore the world and find where he fits. And most importantly, I told him to take chances because great things didn't happen to people who always played it "safe". And then I explained to him why, despite all the heartache, I felt this way. I told him that my love for him has allowed me to find great joy in knowing that he is chasing his dreams and becoming the man he has envisioned … even if all of it takes him away from me.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you let go!!!

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Making our life easier …

With Sid and George off to college in just a few short weeks, I’ve had a lot to think about. Some of it makes me sad. Some of it makes me happy. Some of it makes me wonder about how the dynamics of our house will change minus two adults. Libs and I have even been trying to imagine meals and how those will look with them gone. On top of our busy Fall school schedule ahead this should be interesting. We have had busy schedules before but cooking for so few people will just be weird. So weird that we are looking into changing things up. A lot! This afternoon Libs and I were researching healthy meal delivery programs that manage all the portions and ingredients for you. All you do is cook them when they arrive to your home. I look at it like a personal challenge to keep healthy meals flowing in this house despite our hectic schedules, HA! Needless to say this sounds like a HUGE help in that department. This service also seems like it would be a time saver and not just at meal time but also in shopping time too. I am all over THAT!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you make your life easier!!!

No words …

My today.

I watched Sid pack the last of her things for college.

I watched her load the car full of boxes.

Tomorrow we start the journey to San Francisco. This is an end and also a beginning. It is tied with more emotions than I think I have ever felt in my lifetime. Feelings that far exceed my ability to verbalize them. Perhaps one day, in retrospect, I will be able to write them all down … but for now, I’ll just stay blanketed in the emotions of these precious moments.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you have no words!!!