Go with the flow …

Winding down from the past eight days hasn't been easy. Coming home to a house that is down so many in numbers has just been weird. And of course now it's time to get ready for Libs' and Reese's first day of school next week AND their birthdays.

Life is ALWAYS busy. At least mine is. And I love it. I don't mean the busyness. I mean the "life" part. My life is never boring. It's full of change. It's full of happiness and pain. We have great times and we have struggles. It simply amazes me that it all keeps moving fluidly. And we just glide along with all of it mapping out a new course as each day passes.

I agree that times can be hard. I'm currently in one. I'm grieving the changes in our family. I miss my kids and what was. But I know I'll adapt and figure it all out. That is the beauty that comes with accepting life as it is and as it should be. It will come. This time might be difficult but my life is still incredible. I still laugh and enjoy every crazy mixed-up and turned around situation I find myself in. And I love and adore the people who I have chosen and who have chosen me share them with. We drift through this life together like a stream. My life takes many twists and turns. I don't always see what lies beneath the water. Heck, sometimes I don't want to. But it's all a part of this magnificent opportunity we have been given time and time again … to find joy in each new day. And as long as I have breath, no matter what I may be facing, I will seek it.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you go with the flow!!!

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Safe, sound and laughing hysterically …

My girls and I are still in San Francisco. We had visions of sleeping in today. NOPE. We got an early morning wake up call from the fire alarm and that thing is LOUD. This is not our first go-around with hotel evacuations. I know, it's shocking! Our first was in Massachusetts. Again, it was LOUD. Both times, thankfully, there was no actual fire. Just smokers not following hotel rules. Don't even get me started.

Anyway, the girls and I found ourselves on the street in front of our hotel early this morning along with everyone else who was staying there. Trying to make the best of our situation I suggested that we take a walk and go to breakfast. It sounded like a nice idea to me. Then the reality of our rushing out the door to safety came full circle. Libs said, "Mom, I don't have on pants!" This stuck me as one of the funniest things I had ever heard. Needless to say, we didn't walk to breakfast.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you are safe and sound and laughing hysterically!!!

Salting your waffles …

It’s been just over three months since I got sick and the peace of mind I have over the whole experience couldn’t be more rooted in hope … and in humor.

We can spend a lot of time trying to figure out all the WHYS to our unpleasant situations. And even longer being resentful of them. I try to learn from every experience I have. Good or bad, I see them all as lessons. But I’ll be honest, sometimes I just don’t get the point in the lesson in the first place. It can be frustrating to say the least. But it’s at that point when I usually tell myself that WHATEVER the lesson was, it all had a part in shaping me into the woman I’m meant to be. Which in the bigger picture, is kinda cool.

Once I get to this point I can begin to truly appreciate the experience. I can even begin to laugh about it. Which is always good. I know that when I can find humor in an otherwise unpleasant memory, I have achieved my ultimate peace in it. I begin to feel like a warrior and survivor … and not an out-of-control victim.

When I first came home from the hospital my family made me breakfast and Libs brought it to me so I could eat in my bed. She sat with me. I remember being surprised by this. She didn’t just bring it to me and leave, she settled herself on my bed and began talking to me. At the time this seemed so benign. But it became one of the happiest and funniest memories that came out of the whole meningitis (Part 2) experience. I really can’t remember anything Libs and I began talking about, I was still pretty out of it. But I do remember Libs calling my name over and over again. She was saying something and I just was too detached to catch the importance of it. I’m not sure what finally kicked my brain back into reality but I finally heard what she was saying. “Mom, you’re salting your waffles!” Well, we got a pretty good chuckle out of that one! And it’s continued to be a staple comment in our family when someone does something loopy.

It’s been a long three months. They have NOT been easy. I am still not myself physically. The fatigue is down right depressing at times. But I know that I am doing everything I can to get stronger. And thankfully, it’s working. Slowly but surely, it IS working. And I couldn’t be more grateful. But I still don’t have an understanding of the WHY I got sick again. I have thought about the day I got sick over and over again. The speed work I did on the treadmill just hours before I couldn’t move without excruciating pain. How strong I felt. Then how weak. I just can’t make any sense of it. But that’s OK. With memories of salty waffles, I’ll just laugh about it until I do.

Well, I hope you all have a day where laughter is the best medicine!!!

I knew I was in for a big treat … 

Today is Lib’s 14th birthday. WOW! How did that happen?!?

Let me tell you a little about Libs. She is utterly delightful. I tell her all the time that she is so much fun to be around that I would hang out with her even if she wasn’t my kid. This, of course, prompts her to tell me that this would be really weird. HA! She is so darn funny and she keeps me smiling all day long. I knew that she was something special when I was delivering her and everyone in the room was laughing. Including me! No joke. It was honestly like a party. And it’s been that way every day since.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you know that you are in for a big treat!!!

  

Sadly celebrating my mom …

Today is my mom’s birthday. She would have been 69. She has been celebrating in heaven for 22 years now. Typing that just blows my mind. It’s shocking. If she were to walk through my front door right now, I could easily pick up where we left off. Just like she never left. Of course I would give her a giant hug first! But I know us, within minutes we would be catching up and probably laughing our tushies off about something. Gosh, wouldn’t that be nice …

It’s incredible how true unconditional love works. I love my mother just as much as I did the day she passed away. Heck, I think I might even love her more. I see so much of her in myself now. I value the life lessons she taught me. Especially the ones that she taught me by example. She taught me to laugh and find joy in every place life took me. Even the dark and scary parts. People wonder how I do it. How I can keep smiling and keep an optimistic outlook despite the life experiences I’ve had. People ask how I have not become bitter. My mom. Mom is how I do it. Her short life was far from perfect, but it never stopped her from laughing and hoping her way through each new day. This amazing ability of hers became her greatest gift to me and it has become her legacy. A legacy I try to honor every day.

Happy Birthday Mom! I love you like you never left and miss you fiercely every day. You were, are and always will be my greatest hero.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you sadly celebrate!!!

  

The DMV …

I had to got to the DMV today. Luckily I had a friend willing to go with me. That is not a place I like to weather alone. Right off the bat it got interesting. Pulling in to park we saw a woman make a right hand turn into the parking lot from the far left lane on the street. Wrong lane, no signal and just made the turn right in front of us to pull in. My friend and I just looked at each other and ya know …

Well, I hope you all have a day where you laughed hysterically!!!