A BIG SIGH of relief …

I woke up this morning feeling something I hadn’t in a very long time. RELAXED. Sidney has been home from college for about a month now. George graduated from high school last night. Libs and Reese have their last day of school today. Our absolutely exhausting, unpredictable, and stressful school year is OVER. There were many times when I wondered if we were going to make it out of this one unscathed by our circumstances. It was a tough one. This past week one particularly memory has come to mind time and time again.

I was just recently out of the hospital. On top of everything else my vision was terrible even with my glasses on. Between the medications and being so sick everything was just a blur. But there George and I were, sitting in front of his computer finishing up his college applications. I remember thinking HOW? How exactly are we going to get from HERE to THERE? And what if we didn’t? The worry was incredible. So much “hinged on” those applications. Too much to even imagine the loss. He needed my guidance. He needed my help. No excuse was good enough. It all had to get done and it had to get done then. His future wasn’t going to wait for me to feel better and for me to see clearly again. So we did what we had to do and got them done despite our obstacles.

And here we are. Many months later. Sid home for summer and soon to be entering her Junior year in college. Libs with a Distinguished Scholar Award for keeping a 4.0 her Freshman year. My Reese thriving and ready to take on 2nd Grade. And George, a high school graduate leaving for college in just two short months. I can’t believe we got from THERE to HERE. Their resilience amazes me. They persisted and it all paid off. We made it. THEY made it.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you breathe a BIG SIGH of relief!!!

It’s surreal … 

Today is George’s last day of high school classes. Forever. He graduates next Wednesday. Watching him leave the house this morning filled my heart with all sorts of emotions and flooded my mind with memories. How is this possible? Where did my baby boy go? It seems like just yesterday that I found out I was pregnant with him. That moment, still so vivid. And here we are … I can’t believe it.

Well, I hope you all have a day that seems surreal!!!

Living lovingly in denial …

I absolutely love having all of my kids at home. The laughter and conversations. The loudness and busyness. Listening to them “catch up” with each other. I love it ALL! Being a parent who was only child I wanted so much so to have a home filled with lots of children. I have been blessed to live that dream.

This may sound silly, but as my kids where growing up it never occurred to me how much it would affect me when they left home to go to college. At minimum, I WAY underestimated those feelings. It has been terribly hard to be so far away from Sidney. I miss her very much when she is gone. And the worry! Let’s not even discuss THAT one! YIKES!

Anyway, I remember when Sid’s second semester of her senior year rolled around, my emotions where similar to that of a roller coaster on steroids. I was utterly shocked at myself. Even I didn’t know it could be THAT emotional, HA! And now, with G3 just a few weeks shy of graduating, I have been overwhelmed with all the same emotions. The same feelings of loss and elation all over again. I’m tearful one minute and excited the next. How is this possible?!?! Isn’t this process supposed to get easier?!?! Because it’s not, at least not for me. And that’s OK. These feelings remind me of just how blessed I am to love so deeply these wonderful beings I get to call my children. I am thankful that our close bonds have made these milestones emotionally charged. Love really does crazy things with your heart. I have written before, that as painful as this growing-up process is, I wouldn’t want it any other way. I have found no greater joy than loving my children and watching them plan to leave home to chase their dreams. It truly is beautiful.

I am so thankful that we are all together again. I know it’s not going to last very long. But for now, for the next few months while they are all home, I’m going to pretend that I don’t know that times like these will become fewer and farther between. I’m going to love them like always and relish in the joy I feel just being their mom … appreciating every precious second.

Well, I hope you all have day where you live lovingly in denial!!!

Figuring it out …

G3 is a junior in high school and this week we began our 2016 College Tour Palooza. Today we visited two more universities, California State University, Channel Island and Pepperdine. It was a long day and we are all on a bit of information overload. G3 is very cautious and is extremely thoughtful in his decision making. He is interested in three areas of study: economics, political science and physics. He is also playing with the idea of law school. And we know that ALL of this can change when he wakes up in the morning, HA!

I’ll be honest, requiring children as young as 16, which he is, to pick a field they will work in for … the … rest … of … their … lives … is almost cruel. And it is not something that G3 has taken lightly. Despite his father and I telling him that he can’t possibly do irreparable harm to his education by switching majors, he is still very worried that he will make a “mistake”. Poor kid!

Sadly, the time has come when we MUST consider where he will go to college after he graduates from high school next year. We are using the three majors he is currently interested in as a guide to which colleges we will consider. Ideally we will find colleges that offer all three majors, but we will settle for colleges that have at least two of the three. This way he can switch majors without too much difficulty, if he finds he likes one more than the other.

So this week we began easing him into college hunting. And I am happy to report that it has gone as well as a mom could hope. After three college visits (we visited California State University, Fullerton the other day) his anxiety is fading. He is becoming more comfortable just being on a college campus. He is more confident and the conversations about choosing his future school seem less overwhelming to him. He is finally seeing that being young is his time to consider all his options. To evolve into what feels right. And that changing his course or direction is acceptable. Even if he does it once. Twice. Maybe even three times. He understands that it’s OK to not have all the answers right now, and learning that eventually they will come. As reluctant as G3 was to start this whole process, this evening he turned to me and said, “This was a good day.”

Yep, he’s getting there … and I couldn’t be prouder.

Well, I hope you all had a day where you started to enjoy figuring it out!!!