Listen …

Sometimes I hear, LOUD and CLEAR, which direction I need to move in. But sometimes it’s a whisper. Why does the whisper always make a bigger impression on me? I’m not really sure why, but at least I know what I’m doing.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you LISTEN!!!

I thought I was having a heart attack …

Ever since I bought my new cell phone case I’ve had trouble hearing my ring tones and other alerts. It’s rather padded so I think it muffles the sound in some way. Or … I’m losing my hearing. SWELL.

Anyway, yesterday I told Sid that I was having trouble hearing them, and bless her sweet heart, she made it so I know when I’ve got a call, text or notification even if I can’t hear them.

Um. But she didn’t tell me.

I discovered her sweetness all on my own. And it was absolutely TERRIFYING. Let’s just say that I’ve never used the “vibration” mode on my phone. But I do now. And I really hope it doesn’t kill me.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you don’t think you’re having a heart attack!!!

Nervously awaiting for something great to happen …

OK … so this Thursday Reese will be having tubes placed in her ears. While she is sedated, an echocardiogram, extensive audiology testing and blood work will also be done. Reese has only had one ear infection her whole life. Which I guess is pretty rare for children with Down Syndrome. But she has been pretty lucky in dodging a whole lot of medical issues typically associated with Down Syndrome. Regardless, her medical team keeps a very close eye on her. And that is A-OK with me!

Anyway, she is having tubes put in because her ENT and audiologist detected clear uninfected fluid in her ears, which could be causing her to have decreased hearing and can ultimately be delaying her speech and feeding. The hope is that by removing the fluid in her ears and giving any recurring fluid a way out, she could hear better and ultimately her speech and feeding issues will be resolved. This would all be WILDLY WONDERFUL!

As a medical social worker I know how easy the procedure is and how beneficial it will be … but as a mother the whole thing still FREAKS ME THE HECK OUT. Knowing my baby will be sedated for at least two hours is down right unnerving. The tubes themselves only take about 15 minutes to place. But the audiology testing is going to be lengthy. They want to ensure that she has absolutely no hearing impairment. If she doesn’t than it should only take another 45 minutes to complete. But if they do find impairment, then they will want to find the source and that can take another 45 minutes in and of itself.

Goodness. Ugh. And OY!

Truth be told, I have been completely calm about everything until today after I spoke with one of the Operating Room nurses. She didn’t say anything particularly scary, but it all became so very real. This IS happening in two days.

I am trying to focus on all the positives that are going to come out of this. And the relief that will come in having the results to all the tests and procedures I requested over six months ago. Along with the imaging we had done a few weeks ago, we will finally have a clear picture of what Reese’s needs are at this stage of her life … and this makes me very happy.

This little girl has my heart. I love her beyond measure. And I want her to have a wonderful and healthy life. I want her to grow and thrive and learn and become the person she is meant to be … because there are incredible things ahead for her. I have always believed that Reese will change the world for the better. Heck, I have watched Reese change the world from my womb. I see how she has changed hearts and minds. How she has spread an awareness about Down Syndrome and torn apart stereotypes. I have watched her influence the thoughts of others in profound ways. Yes, this little girl is quite amazing … and I am absolutely humbled that I was chosen to be her Mommy.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you are nervously awaiting for something great to happen!!!