Fed up and frustrated …

I’m having one of THOSE moments. Luckily they don’t ever last very long with me. But boy oh boy, this one is a DOOZEY.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you aren’t fed up and frustrated!!!

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Getting along … 

I adore my daughter Libs. She is funny, kind, talented, smart and adorable. I tell her all the time that even if she wasn’t my kid I would still want to hang out with her. She promptly tells me that that is really strange, HA! See?!?! She is so darn funny!

Anyway, that all being said, I hate going clothes shopping with Libs. HATE. IT. We get so frustrated with one another that we don’t want to talk to each other for hours afterward. I think she can’t make up her mind and it drives me batty! She has her issues with me too. She says that I’m the only person who can go into a store with the intentions of buying pants and walk out with 3 shirts, 2 skirts and a meal. Oh my gosh, yes, she is HILARIOUS!

Luckily, now that Libs is older she can go shopping with her friends or Sid takes her when she is in town. It works out best for everyone. However, there are still times when I must go with Libs and today was one of those days. I had found shorts that I knew she would like at a store that was pretty far away. She also needed a nice dress because this week she is competing in her school’s version of American Idol (Yep. She sings too. This kid!). So reluctantly, off we went to make our purchases. 

Well, I am not sure what exactly happened but our outing went unusually smooth. We went to two stores and made two purchases. Shorts and dress acquired without incident. It was a darn miracle! We couldn’t believe that neither one of us wanted to disown or curse the other. It was so weird.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you get along!!!

Salting your waffles …

It’s been just over three months since I got sick and the peace of mind I have over the whole experience couldn’t be more rooted in hope … and in humor.

We can spend a lot of time trying to figure out all the WHYS to our unpleasant situations. And even longer being resentful of them. I try to learn from every experience I have. Good or bad, I see them all as lessons. But I’ll be honest, sometimes I just don’t get the point in the lesson in the first place. It can be frustrating to say the least. But it’s at that point when I usually tell myself that WHATEVER the lesson was, it all had a part in shaping me into the woman I’m meant to be. Which in the bigger picture, is kinda cool.

Once I get to this point I can begin to truly appreciate the experience. I can even begin to laugh about it. Which is always good. I know that when I can find humor in an otherwise unpleasant memory, I have achieved my ultimate peace in it. I begin to feel like a warrior and survivor … and not an out-of-control victim.

When I first came home from the hospital my family made me breakfast and Libs brought it to me so I could eat in my bed. She sat with me. I remember being surprised by this. She didn’t just bring it to me and leave, she settled herself on my bed and began talking to me. At the time this seemed so benign. But it became one of the happiest and funniest memories that came out of the whole meningitis (Part 2) experience. I really can’t remember anything Libs and I began talking about, I was still pretty out of it. But I do remember Libs calling my name over and over again. She was saying something and I just was too detached to catch the importance of it. I’m not sure what finally kicked my brain back into reality but I finally heard what she was saying. “Mom, you’re salting your waffles!” Well, we got a pretty good chuckle out of that one! And it’s continued to be a staple comment in our family when someone does something loopy.

It’s been a long three months. They have NOT been easy. I am still not myself physically. The fatigue is down right depressing at times. But I know that I am doing everything I can to get stronger. And thankfully, it’s working. Slowly but surely, it IS working. And I couldn’t be more grateful. But I still don’t have an understanding of the WHY I got sick again. I have thought about the day I got sick over and over again. The speed work I did on the treadmill just hours before I couldn’t move without excruciating pain. How strong I felt. Then how weak. I just can’t make any sense of it. But that’s OK. With memories of salty waffles, I’ll just laugh about it until I do.

Well, I hope you all have a day where laughter is the best medicine!!!

A plan …

Have you ever tried to figure something out for the LONGEST TIME yet nothing would come to you? No matter what you did an answer eluded you. Ugh. Talk about frustrating! And then, the day comes when it hits you like a ton of bricks! I GOT IT!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you figure out a plan!!!

I feel like poop …

Last night I went to bed feeling just fine. For some ungodly reason, I woke up at 2:30 this morning with a sore throat and a low grade fever. I spent the rest of my day feeling pretty miserable.

I really loathe being sick. Who doesn’t, right? No one I know, including me, has the patience or time to be sick. It just stresses us out since we can’t do every thing we need to. Or worse, we are only marginally able to tend to our responsibilities or fail so miserably in our attempts that we just shouldn’t have tried in the darn first place. We should have been in bed. Sick. BLAH. Let’s face it, being sick is just dumb. And seriously, I think dealing with being sick would be a whole lot easier if it didn’t make us feel so … um … SICK.

Yes, I know I sound like a crazy person. But cut me some slack. I’m sick. Huff.

Well, I hope you all had a day where you didn’t feel like poop!!!

Wide awake, frustrated and math is dumb …

Since going back to school my caffeine intake has increased. I would say even tripled on some days. Truth be told, I’m not sure if it’s helping me or hurting me. I’m either learning stuff REALLY fast, or NOT learning stuff REALLY fast. One thing is for sure though. Anything that requires me to do math fast is not good. It makes my brain hurt … and makes me want to shred my textbooks with my bare teeth, set fire to the remnants … and spit on their ashes.

OK, so it appears the increase in caffeine may have a few negative effects on me. But at least I’m not sleeping through it. Swell.


Oh, and for the record, math is dumb.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you aren’t wide awake and frustrated!!!