You got this …

I absolutely love my new Fitbit. It “talks” to me way more than my last one. It can be a little bossy when it wants me to get moving. But in the morning it always has something positive to say. It gives me that last little bit of encouragement that helps me get out the door to go run. It seems silly, but I actually look forward to seeing what it has to say. Like this morning, I woke up early and motivated to get out there and work on my pace. Last week I kept all my runs easy as it was my first week back to running after my race. But this morning I was looking to get a little more out of my run. I was pretty excited! And I guess my new Fitbit was too because it “told” me exactly what I needed.

Well, I hope you all have a day where YOU GOT THIS!!!

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Hang in there …

Confession: I have been known to grow attached to and name inanimate objects. Come on people, it makes life more fun! I have named my cars, my cell phones and most recently my Fitbit, Fabio. Unfortunately, Fabio is not doing well. His days are certainly numbered. He has cracks and scratches all over his face. And a big dent all along his left side. His band is also separating from his face so you can see his innards. It’s disturbing!

But I can’t replace him. At least not yet.

The steps we have traveled together are some of the most meaningful I’ve ever taken. Literally, in sickness and in health. From steps in the hospital supported with a walker to some of the fastest steps I’ve ever been blessed to take. Needless to say, Fabio has been through a lot with me. But get this, he has never stopped working. Not even after I accidentally went swimming with him. WHOA! He’s like a tried and true friend. Which is why I’m having a hard time replacing him. Call me crazy, but I have a race in just over a week and I’d really like to have Fabio complete it with me. I would like it to be the final lap in our epic journey together.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you hang in there!!!

A survivor (times 2) …

One year ago today I woke up early and headed for the gym. I did some speed-work and clocked my fastest 1/4 mile (7:13). Not to shabby! I went home and continued on with my typical morning routine. Then I headed to my dental cleaning. This would be that last time I would feel like myself for months.

Later that day I would find myself in an ER with symptoms I was all to familiar with. I was sick. And despite the fact that no one believed me I knew my body. I had meningitis. Again.

Today is the one year anniversary of my second round of meningitis. Still with so many questions left unanswered. That alone is a demon I must face every day. I have become obsessed with Facebook memories. Trying to find some clue as to how I got so sick so fast. Again. There is nothing there. Nothing. I finished a week of 100,000 logged on my Fitbit. I mention twitchy legs, crazy fast speed-work and a rest weekend. It was to be a well deserved break from my training that was going better than I ever could have hoped for. I was strong and healthy. Race ready. There was nothing in those memories that would indicate that I would become so sick in just mere hours. How can anyone’s brain be that swollen and they not show any signs or symptoms?!?! It’s baffling. Utterly.

There are days that I still feel like a ticking time-tomb. I’m not sure if that feeling will ever go away. The memory of this experience and the fall-out afterward will always be unsettling. The “unknowns” are worrisome at best. But I refuse to cave into fear and let it immobilize me. Life is too precious for that. I thought battling meningitis once was bad enough. Twice, just seems insulting. But I truly believe that life gives us lessons for reasons. Reasons we might not ever understand. And THAT gives me my peace. Trust me, I can easily focus on all the things that this illness has robbed me of. How disruptive it was to, not just my life, but my family’s and friends’ lives as well. I can resent the fact that I still don’t feel like myself and that I fear it happening all over again. I can focus on the anger I feel when I see my precious kids worrying about my smallest of ailments. Children shouldn’t have to worry like that! OH, if meningitis was a person I would have punched it in the throat long ago!

Anyway, as I see it I have two options. I can choose the road paved with anxiety, fear and bitterness … OR … I can be thankful that I even had a road in the first place.

Let’s face it, life is not always easy. Crap happens through no fault of our own. But life can still be beautiful. I’d be lying if I said this illness hasn’t changed me. It has. I am not the same woman who woke up on this day a year ago. I am, for better or worse, the Jennifer I was supposed to be on this day and in this moment. Meningitis helped shaped me. And I’m OK with that. I am an ever-evolving woman who accepts that change and defeat and pain are an acceptable way to form me into the woman I am meant to be. Meningitis was a pit stop. OK fine, TWO. But it wasn’t my final destination. God and the universe clearly are not done with me yet and that’s good … because I still have dreams. And as long as I have breath, scared or not, I will chase them.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you are a survivor (times 2)!!!

Fabio the Fitbit is alive and well …

Let’s go back a year. Last summer a friend of mine, Kim, and I ran the Napa to Sonoma Half Marathon. It was an absolutely fantastic race put on by Destination Races. It was coordinated so well. Honestly, it is one of the best races I’ve ever had the privilege to be a part of. From the expo to the finish line activities, it was an incredible race experience. And the course was beautiful!

Anyway, one of the race sponsors was Fitbit. So runners were given a discount on Fitbit purchases. I decided to buy myself the Fitbit HR I had my eye on. And I immediately fell in LOVE! The day after the race Kim and I decided my Fitbit needed a name. I name everything, so why not? HA! Kim came up with the name Fabio. Of course I thought that name was perfect! And just like that, Fabio the Fitbit came into existence.

OK, back to now. Well, sorta. For weeks now I haven’t been able to sync Fabio the Fitbit with the app on my phone. I wasn’t sure why. I thought that perhaps I somehow managed to damage Fabio’s Bluetooth thingy. OK, that totally made me laugh! Anyway, I just hoped Fabio would fix himself. That’s how I roll with electronics. Delusional grandiose ideas of miraculous repairs. Totally rational. OY! But then, when we were in Las Vegas, I swam with Fabio. Oooops. He was submerged in water for a good 15-20 minutes before I realized what I had done. Needless to say I thought I had officially drowned Fabio. NOPE. He never stopped working! NOT. ONCE. I was utterly shocked! And totally impressed with Fitbit! WOW!

But despite not dying in an accidental watery submersion, I still couldn’t get Fabio to sync to my app. UNTIL TODAY! Yep, you read that right! After weeks of not working properly and almost drowning, Fabio the Fitbit is working perfectly again! YAY!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you are alive and well!!!

Getting it all done …

My To-Do-List today was longer than I have ever seen it. It was scary. To say I’m “a little behind” after the meningitis AND the holidays is the biggest understment ever spoken. Luckily nothing was gravely important but it did all need tending. Never in a million years did I think I would come close to completing all of it today. I sent out more emails than I could count. I scheduled about 10 appointments. And I spent more time “on hold” than any human being should in one years time, let alone a single day. To tackle the boredom and frustration of all that BLAH this morning I decided that I would put on my running shoes and walk through all of it, using my phone for EVERYTHING. After 14,000 steps on my Fitbit (AND IN THE RAIN) I headed home to finish errands while waiting for responses from everyone I contacted. I still haven’t heard from everyone but at least my part in everything is handled. PHEW! I don’t think finishing grad school felt nearly this good, HA!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you GET IT ALL DONE!!!

Getting some rest (NOT) … 

Soooo my new Fitbit tracks sleep. I’ll be honest the first week it seemed to be a little generous on the hours it tracked me sleeping. Then I saw that it had two sleep tracking settings. “Normal” and “Sensitive”. And I thought, “Ah ha!” I don’t do anything NORMAL so I figured let’s give the “sensitive” tracking a whirl. Low and behold, it picked up EXACTLY how I sleep. In my 7 hour and 12 minute “sleep schedule” I was actually only asleep for 3 hours and 33 minutes. Three hours and 39 minutes I was awake and/or restless. GOOD LORDY. Speaks volumes, doesn’t it?!?! And people wonder why I am a little nutty.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you get some rest!!!