Thinking too much …

I was up pretty late last night and for some strange reason, this morning, I woke up SUPER early. I even gave myself permission last night to “sleep in”. Whatever THAT looks like to a typically early riser on a normal busy Friday morning. HA! Anyway, I also woke up WHOLE body tired. You know that feeling? It’s definitely NOT pleasant. UGH. So my question to myself is WHY? If I’m THIS tired ALL OVER and I can get a little extra sleep, then WHY THE HECK am I awake?!?! I blame my brain. Oy.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you don’t think too much!!!

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FOMO …

We are out of town celebrating Sidney, my oldest daughter, this weekend. And we are taking a few extra days to do it, HA! In situations like this it never fails. My body is energized and ready to PARTAY! It doesn’t matter how late I stay up, I wake up early the next day. Like my body and mind are screaming WHAT’S NEXT?!?! Trust me, I would LOVE to sleep in like normal people. But I think my body is worried it’s going to miss something important if we sleep an extra hour or two. Yes body, we will miss a few things … like the undead hours of the day and unopened coffee shops … OY.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you don’t have an innate fear of missing out!!!

The undead hours, some coffee and a little productivity …

I woke up insanely early again this morning. I can get used to this. I actually have to, HA! With school starting soon for Libs and Reese, my workouts will be back at the “undead” hours again. Not that I mind it, I actually prefer it. I love the quiet of the early morning. It truly is my ME time. And I think, after all these years of the back-to-school schedule changes, that my body just naturally switches back to that “clock”. So instead of fighting to fall back to sleep this morning I made myself some coffee, wrote emails, reviewed and added events to our calendars, finalized everything for my (hopefully soon to be) Yoga Instructor Certification and worked on the details to a few trips we have planned. And I got it all done with no interruptions. Because let’s face it, most of the earth is still asleep that early on a Sunday morning.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you drink coffee and feel productive!!!

Up and at it at undead hours …

I woke up at 4 a.m. today. I was WIDE awake but I decided to stay in bed until it was an acceptable hour to run. I’ve mentioned before that my neighborhood wakes fairly early. I am often the first one out there, but it’s usually within a few minutes of running that “Good Mornings” are exchanged with neighbors who are also out starting their day. Four in the morning, however, is pushing it. As understanding and supportive my neighbors may be of my running and training, no one wants their light sensors triggered and dogs barking that early. Unless of course it was a real threat of vampires and werewolves in the area, HA!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you are up and at it at undead hours!!!

I wondered why …

I woke up at about 5:00am this morning. Sad for a weekend! I wasn’t tired anymore and, as much as I tried, I couldn’t fall back to sleep. At 7:00am I gave up altogether figuring Reese would be awake soon.

But that was not the case … and I was baffled.

Then the ugly truth it HIT ME. Daylight Savings. EW. And even more EW was the realization that my 5:00am wake-up was ACTUALLY our old 4:00AM! Ugh …

Well, I hope you all have a day where you figure it out!!!

Thankful to have to try, try again (even if the gym is closed) … 

I have chosen to keep a pretty darn positive attitude regarding my foot. And up until this morning, I had not wavered from it.

I’m going to tell you a little secret. It IS NOT easy to try to see that everything will turn out fine. That things have a way of working themselves out. To have faith in learning and life. I CHOOSE to think this way. From an outsider’s perspective I’m sure I look a little nuts. Heck, I have even been asked (quite a few times) if my outlook comes from good meds! Nope outsiders, I don’t do drugs and I’m not crazy. Accept it, this is just how I roll.

But I am human. And today I just about had a hysterical sobbing fit in the parking lot of my CLOSED gym.

Over the past 17 years of having children my training or working out has been done while they are asleep or in school. There are some occasions when they are with me too, like when I used to do my miles on the beach with Libs when she was a baby. Or now, when we go to yoga together. I just never felt right about taking time away from them to get it all done. I supposed “mother guilt” drives that. But to avoid it, I often wake up at “undead” hours of the morning. I am a pretty motivated person when it comes to this stuff, so it hasn’t bothered me. I love the quiet of the early morning. I have enjoyed more sunrises that I could ever count. And that feeling of replenished “me” sets the tone for the rest of my day.

Anyway, because of summer schedules and my foot, I have been very much out of my routine. And I HATE it. But now that all is settled (for a few weeks at least) I was excited to have today be my first early long cycling session at the gym.

When my alarm went off this morning I was up and at it! I practically flew out the door I was so excited. But when I got to the gym the parking lot was completely empty … and my heart sank. With the changing of my running miles to cycling miles I am dependent on my gym. I was told I can cycle but only on a recumbent bike and the gym is my only option.

However, it never occurred to me that I have not been to my gym on a Saturday. NOT ONCE since I have joined. I am always out doing my long runs on Saturday. But boy oh boy, did I realized it this morning! I couldn’t believe that all the times I have been there at 5 a.m. have been on a weekday. Who knew?!?! Definitely NOT ME.

So I sat there in my car for a few minutes. First, utterly frustrated at myself. Then, overwhelmed with the thoughts of having to modify my training days (AGAIN) to get these longer “rides” in. And then finally, a sadness washed over me. 

I wanted to run.

I just wanted to be able to go back to my early morning runs. To throw on my running shoes and be out the door. To do what I love, and have it be THAT easy again.

As I sat there feeling badly for myself, I thought that maybe this was THE SIGN. The one that tells me to just give up. To forget Twin Cities. TO MOVE ON. To find another race, another place, another time. But I just couldn’t remain in those thoughts.

I guess I have trained my mind and my heart to think and feel differently. Maybe it’s just part of my chemical make up. But I looked in the seat beside me. My walking boot with my earbuds, armband, water and towel. And I realized … there is a lesson here. There is value in this setback. Amongst all that STUFF and all my emotions, there is something in what happened to me that I must learn from. Perhaps mastering the two steps outside my front door should be at the top of that list, HA!

So, I took a deep breath, drove home, climbed back into bed and got some extra rest.

I have to be honest with you, I’m not sure what lessons I’m learning with this one. I almost wish my injury came from overtraining and not tweaking my foot the wrong way stepping off my porch. I could wrap my head around an injury that came from one too many long runs. This one, has me baffled. But that’s OK, because I am willing to figure it all out … and continue to do as I do … gratefully.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you are thankful to have to TRY TRY AGAIN!!!