Proving my love … 

After this one NO ONE will EVER question my love for Libs. Not. Ever.

Libs wanted to cycle at the gym tonight. She had never cycled on a stationary bike so instead of going to pilates and yoga tonight we decided to cycle and run instead. I would run my miles while she cycled hers.

Now if you know me, this speaks volumes on how much I must love my child.

First off, I can not stand doing my runs at night. I am just too wiped out from my day to even go there. Not gunna even try. Nope. And there is only one thing that I hate more than running at night. It’s the treadmill. Day or night, I loathe that thing. LOATHE. Combine the two and then add in the hellaciously hot humid sweaty air in the gym and I am pretty much in hell. Yep. HELL.

But … I would do anything for that kooky kid.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you prove your love!!!

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Determined … 

Earlier today I wasn’t able to make it to the gym to get my miles in. I thought perhaps I would just skip it all together, but life has allowed me to surround myself with some of the most inspiring friends and family a girl could ever ask for. So at 9 p.m. this evening I walked through the gym doors to get those 18 miles done.

Why?

Because I want this and I want it BAD. I want to show up AND conquer the Twin Cities Marathon. I want to make my family, my mentors, my friends and myself proud on race day. I want there to be no doubt that I wanted THIS bad enough. And that I did EVERYTHING within my power to achieve my goals. Whether I fail miserably or exceed my wildest expectations, I want to know that I did my best.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you are determined!!!

Thankful to have to try, try again (even if the gym is closed) … 

I have chosen to keep a pretty darn positive attitude regarding my foot. And up until this morning, I had not wavered from it.

I’m going to tell you a little secret. It IS NOT easy to try to see that everything will turn out fine. That things have a way of working themselves out. To have faith in learning and life. I CHOOSE to think this way. From an outsider’s perspective I’m sure I look a little nuts. Heck, I have even been asked (quite a few times) if my outlook comes from good meds! Nope outsiders, I don’t do drugs and I’m not crazy. Accept it, this is just how I roll.

But I am human. And today I just about had a hysterical sobbing fit in the parking lot of my CLOSED gym.

Over the past 17 years of having children my training or working out has been done while they are asleep or in school. There are some occasions when they are with me too, like when I used to do my miles on the beach with Libs when she was a baby. Or now, when we go to yoga together. I just never felt right about taking time away from them to get it all done. I supposed “mother guilt” drives that. But to avoid it, I often wake up at “undead” hours of the morning. I am a pretty motivated person when it comes to this stuff, so it hasn’t bothered me. I love the quiet of the early morning. I have enjoyed more sunrises that I could ever count. And that feeling of replenished “me” sets the tone for the rest of my day.

Anyway, because of summer schedules and my foot, I have been very much out of my routine. And I HATE it. But now that all is settled (for a few weeks at least) I was excited to have today be my first early long cycling session at the gym.

When my alarm went off this morning I was up and at it! I practically flew out the door I was so excited. But when I got to the gym the parking lot was completely empty … and my heart sank. With the changing of my running miles to cycling miles I am dependent on my gym. I was told I can cycle but only on a recumbent bike and the gym is my only option.

However, it never occurred to me that I have not been to my gym on a Saturday. NOT ONCE since I have joined. I am always out doing my long runs on Saturday. But boy oh boy, did I realized it this morning! I couldn’t believe that all the times I have been there at 5 a.m. have been on a weekday. Who knew?!?! Definitely NOT ME.

So I sat there in my car for a few minutes. First, utterly frustrated at myself. Then, overwhelmed with the thoughts of having to modify my training days (AGAIN) to get these longer “rides” in. And then finally, a sadness washed over me. 

I wanted to run.

I just wanted to be able to go back to my early morning runs. To throw on my running shoes and be out the door. To do what I love, and have it be THAT easy again.

As I sat there feeling badly for myself, I thought that maybe this was THE SIGN. The one that tells me to just give up. To forget Twin Cities. TO MOVE ON. To find another race, another place, another time. But I just couldn’t remain in those thoughts.

I guess I have trained my mind and my heart to think and feel differently. Maybe it’s just part of my chemical make up. But I looked in the seat beside me. My walking boot with my earbuds, armband, water and towel. And I realized … there is a lesson here. There is value in this setback. Amongst all that STUFF and all my emotions, there is something in what happened to me that I must learn from. Perhaps mastering the two steps outside my front door should be at the top of that list, HA!

So, I took a deep breath, drove home, climbed back into bed and got some extra rest.

I have to be honest with you, I’m not sure what lessons I’m learning with this one. I almost wish my injury came from overtraining and not tweaking my foot the wrong way stepping off my porch. I could wrap my head around an injury that came from one too many long runs. This one, has me baffled. But that’s OK, because I am willing to figure it all out … and continue to do as I do … gratefully.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you are thankful to have to TRY TRY AGAIN!!!

Trapped in my head (and sounding a little like Dr. Seuss) …

Here is sit. At the gym. On the Devil’s Cycle of Dread. Peddling my heart out … and trapped in my head!

Well, I hope you all have a day where you have PLENTY of time to think (oh my god, now I’m rhyming)!!!

I am DETERMINED to NEVER give up … 

I took all my running miles this week and converted them to cycling miles in an effort to spare my foot some pounding. I’m not sure if it helped my foot much, but in all those hours I spent on Satan’s stationary bike of doom and boredom, I did learn a lot. And as a result I am sending out a BIG THANK YOU to my family and friends for all their love, support and encouragement. They keep me REAL … and laughing.

An Injured Runner’s Life Lesson List (Part, 23 GAZILLION):

1. The reason us runner’s never know we are about to be injured is because we all have the same freakin’ aches and pains … and they all sound NORMAL to US.

2. Boredom combined with laughter makes you sweat more.

3. Hurt a women physically or emotionally and what you get in the end is a WARRIOR.

4. Real friends speak the truth and aren’t scared to discuss poop or dangly toenails.

5. Life has its’ own agenda.

6. Strong legs can be made in all sorts of ways.

7. Inner peace matters.

8. Finding friends who share the same passion that you do is simply one of the greatest gifts life can hand you.

9. Wings aren’t always found on your back. 

10. Setbacks suck, but determination trumps defeat.

Yep. I spent a lot of time on that bike this week. Thinking. Angry. Calculating. Making peace. And owning … that I am NO QUITTER.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you are determined to NEVER GIVE UP!!!

Going nowhere FAST …

I am at that part of my training where I am supposed to be running 5 days a week, per my new training schedule. If you know me, you know that this has NEVER worked out well for me. It took me several injuries to realize that I cross train too much for 5 days of running to benefit to me in any way.

Last year when I hurt my quad/hamstring during the LA Marathon, my orthopedist suggested I cycle at least one day a week instead of run. I gotta admit. I thought he was trying to enlist me in his legionnaire of Ironman recruits. I wanted no part of it. But he assured me that I would get the training my legs needed without the abuse that running hands me. I was reluctant. But when he cleared me to start training again, I decided to give it a whirl. 

Although I probably wouldn’t want to admit it to him, he was right. In the past year I have spent many miles on the stationary bike at the gym that I feel have benefited my running greatly. Not just sparing my legs the pounding, but helping me with knee strength. Stronger knees have ultimately lead to a faster pace, especially on the downhill. I believe it’s because my knees feel like they can handle it now, so I have the confidence to push harder. And THAT is always a good thing.

But … and this is a BIG BUT … it is the most boring thing on earth to me. Ever.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you feel like you are going nowhere fast!!!

Clammy …

I sweat. I sweat a lot. Thankfully not randomly, just when I run and work out. I mean, I sweat like regular people too, but I REALLY sweat when I am running or working out. I didn’t used to but then my dietician had me change a few things and WHAH-LA … more sweat.
Anyway, today was a cycling and yoga day for me. But as I started working up a sweat I found it to be somewhat different than my normal sweatiness.

No folks … I’m not going to stop writing about sweat. This is all I’ve got today.

So back to my sweat. I felt muggy. Damp. And humid. Can a person feel muggy, damp and humid?!? Well, I did. And let me tell you, it isn’t pleasant. Some people don’t like to sweat. I actually like it. Except this new sticky ew-ey version my body created today. Perhaps it’s stress sweat. I gotta whole lotta that going on these days. Yes, let’s go with that cause. Detoxing from the drama, the BLAH and the MEH of life! I leaked out my stress all over that stationary bike thingy! And it felt … really … really GROSS.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you don’t feel CLAMMY!!!