Happily falling apart …

Most people who know me would say that I hold it together unusually well during times of stress and change. I deal with things straightforward. What’s on my plate that day, gets my effort and attention. When I was younger I was a worry wart. I was anxious about EVERYTHING. That all faded away. Now I save my efforts for the real stuff and even then I remain pretty calm. And optimistic. It drives my crew crazy sometimes. I think they want to see more “emotion” out of me. Trust me, I am one emotional woman. I’m a crier. I laugh at just about everything. And I’m usually the happiest person in the room. But when it comes to stressful situations or change I just gave up freaking out about them. It’s way easier to just deal with them. In a “matter-of-fact” kind of way I muddle through the tough times. I do make a TON of lists. They tend to keep me focused. Plus they are a great visual for me to measure my progress through the problem or situation I’m currently in the thick of.

Regardless of what I’ve been dealing with, when the day comes when I feel like I am finally passed it, I tend to fall apart. I’ll cry more, sleep like a rock and sometimes I get sick. It’s like my mind and body can finally let their defenses down. It’s funny. Even though this is when I feel like a mess, it’s also a time when I feel my strongest. It’s like earning another battle scar. And it’s a reminder that I am a survivor. Again.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you happily fall apart!!!


Unsettled …

Maybe I’m just a really anxious person, but I don’t think I’ll ever get used to being a passenger in a car where my child is the driver. Being driven around by a person who I personally fastened into their infant car seat and carrier is just a little freaky in my opinion.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you don’t feel unsettled!!!

Get over it … 

Reese has a bit of a cold. It’s hardly anything but then last night she started coughing. Not a horrible cough but it kept her up and restless for about 2 hours. I’m not sure about other parents but once a cough enters the picture, I freak out. Honestly Reese doesn’t even have a fever and last night you would have thought I had lost my mind. I ended up sleeping the rest of the night with her in her bed, jumping at her every movement and checking her countless times to see if she had a fever. Perhaps I’m suffering from a little PTSD from all her sick months prior to her tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy last March. That was such a rough time! But she has been so healthy since then, it’s such a blessing! In the midst of acting like a crazy woman last night, I realized that I really do need to calm the heck down. Good lordy.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you get over it!!!

My sanity is on hiatus …

Reese is sick today and it’s not a mild version either. She is pretty darn sick. Me no likey.

I don’t know about all the other parents out there, but when my kids are sick, it can literally suck the mental health right out of me. The worry is down right unsettling. I become no where near “of sound mind” and feel more like “of crazy anxious mind”. I don’t have my “wits about me”. And my marbles are long gone.

Well, I hope you all have a day where your sanity didn’t go on hiatus!!!

Climbing out of my skin …

I must have had too much caffeine this morning because I was anxious all day. On top of that, Thursday is usually the busiest day of my week, but today it was EXTRA busy. So needless to say, my heart racing, teeth clinching, jitteriness and generalized impatience was just a down right unpleasant addition.

Not. Fun.

But now I can take a deep breath, enjoy my tea, and be thankful this beast of a day is over … and if all goes well tonight, I’m pretty sure I’ll get another one tomorrow, to do better.

Well, I hope you all had a day where you didn’t feel like climbing out of your own skin!!!