My heart is full …

Both my “little” girls had a rough day today. Libs is OVER school, testing and college prep. And I don’t blame her! She definitely needed a BIG mama hug when I picked her up from school. My poor Reese fell twice today. She is not clumsy so when she falls it can really upset her. Falling twice had her in tears the second she saw me at the school gate. My poor baby! My heart hurts for both of them them. But today I was also reminded of what all these rough childhood days can lead to. Like seeing both my BIG kids out there adult-ing like champs today. Trust me, Sid and George had their fair share of rough childhood days too but to see them now, you would never know it. They are so ADULT-ISH. HA! I admit that the cuddles and snuggles that this momma gets to give and get from her “Littles” on yucky days like this can’t be beat. But neither can the joy I feel watching my older kids spread their wings and fly. Today reminds me that EVERY season in life has its ups and downs, but if you push through and lean on the ones who love you then there will be brighter days ahead. I also am reminded of how much love I have in my life. Not just to give, but also what I get back. I’m blessed and so incredibly thankful.

Well, I hope you all have a day where your heart is full!!!

It wasn’t pretty …

I went out last night and didn’t get home until after 1 a.m. this morning. I was pooped by the time I got home and I fell asleep pretty quickly. I woke up about 4 hours later realizing that I hadn’t moved much. Apparently I had decided that it was comfortable to sleep with my face smooshed. Yikes. You know how it’s adorable for a little child to wake up with pink cheeks and sheet creases all over their little faces after a hard sleep? It’s down right precious! Um. It’s not the same way for an adult. Trust me, there is nothing cute about it.

Well, I hope you all have a day that starts off prettier than mine!!!

Sucked back into reality …

I slept in this morning. For me anyways. I’m sure I know people who will be asleep for HOURS after my sleeping in ended, HA! Once I realized what time it was I was proud of my body for taking what it needed … and pretty darn amazed that no one woke me up! As I laid their basking in the wake of a great night’s sleep, thoughts of everything we have to do today started to creep in. Actually it was more like A TIDAL WAVE OF ADULTHOOD crashing onto my little island of paradise (my bed) and dragging me out to sea like a RIPTIDE OF RESPONSIBILITY. So … I got up. Ugh.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you don’t get sucked back into reality!!!

I can’t picture it any other way …

Twelve long hilly miles. A “Veggie Palooza” plant sale. A tennis match. A sunny nap. A taste of my early adulthood. Playing Barbies. This is a snapshot of a day in my life. It’s colorful and I love every crazy memory of it! 

Well, I hope you all have a day where you can’t picture life any other way!!!

Emotional …

I dropped Sid off at the airport this morning. She returned to San Francisco and this is the first time we don’t have any idea of when she will be home again. She is finishing up her second semester at the Academy of Art University, is starting a job and looking for an apartment so she can live up there permanently.

Then later in the afternoon G3 and I took his first college tour. I watched as my baby boy had a conversation about his future with the Dean of the Economics Department. And all I could think of was, “Is this really happening?” It seems like just yesterday that he said “I did it” for the very first time. And yet today, he is on the verge of adulthood. 

Surprisingly there are some days when I cannot put my feelings into words. I find that sometimes words alone rob moments of their true nature. And that some of my experiences are so meaningful that FEELING them is the only thing I can really do. Yes … today was one of those days.

Well, I hope you all had a day where you were emotional!!!

In the blink of an eye …

On Sidney’s 17th birthday last October I wrote a blog entry titled “Growing Away”. I wrote about the realization I had when Sid passed the one year mark until her high school graduation. I realized I was, in fact, raising Sidney (and my other three) to “grow away” from me. BIG SIGH.

This year has been about “lasts” and also about the excitement of new and exciting begins. None of it has been easy. I have struggled. It has been heartbreaking. I knew that this year would fly by. And it did. We are here now. Sidney graduates from high school today. And in a few short months she will be leaving for college. Everything I wrote about last October will have come to fruition. It is simply unbelievably to me.

I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with her. I remember seeing her for the first time during my ultrasound. I remember feeling her first kicks. I remember what her first cry sounded like and holding her for the first time. Her first bath. I remember the white bow she wore in her hair on the way home from the hospital. I remember her first smile, giggle and tooth. Her first fever. Her first favorite toy. The squeak her gums would make when she chewed on her toys. Getting her “angel wings” picture dressed in the white outfit my mother bought her before she passed away. How cute she looked wearing her little green hat with the yellow and white flowers my Ya Ya gave her. Her first french fry. Her first plane ride. Her first steps. When she first tried to put on my high heels. How much she LOVED shoes. Blue’s Clues and Rugrats. How fast she fell in love with her baby brother. Her first hair cut. Her pink bedroom walls. When purple became her new favorite color. Her first day of school, wearing her little pink capris and plaid shirt. Her first best friend. Her Hello Kitty birthday party. When she struggled to learn to read. When she found Jesus. When she wanted to dress just like her little sister in purple butterfly leggings. When she stopped letting me kiss her in front of her friends. Horse back riding lessons and having to wet her long thick blond hair under her helmet to keep her cool. Her dreaded swim lessons. Her first tennis lesson. Her first match. How her love grew for that sport. The first time she donated her hair. How much she loved Sea World. How she would ride her bike every day after school. When she was the Little Mermaid for Halloween. Telling her there was no Santa. Her first bee sting. When she realized she loved books. The pieces of asphalt (still) in her leg. Her first time riding a big roller coaster. The first time she baby sat. The first time she cried during a movie. When she held her other little sister for the first time. When she wanted to be a pastry chef. The first time she baked for me. When music became MUSIC. When she went out with “just friends” and no parents for the first time. Her first Black Friday. Her first dance. When she applied to her high school digital arts program. When she decided she liked to run. Her first half marathon. And her second. Making the varsity tennis team. When she asked if we could start visiting colleges. Holding her own. Finding it easy to stand up for herself. When she slept for 14 hours. When she stopped outgrowing her jeans. When she started talking in third person. Unicorns. When she started dabbling in photography. When it became more than dabbling. Her Starbucks addiction and her obsession with crime drama. When she fell in love San Francisco … and when I knew that she was going to call it home one day. When she OWNED being a digital media artist. When she spoke and presented herself professionally. Seeing her feel comfortable in her own skin. Receiving THAT acceptance letter. When she started to look … older. Ordering a cap and gown. Finishing her professional portfolio. When I realized she had a resume and that sometimes she does know best. Senior prom. Her name on graduation announcements

And today.

Graduation day.

… and it all happened in … you know …

Well, I hope you all have a day where things seem to have happened in the blink of an eye!!!