Today I ran my 20-miler. I have been physically and mentally preparing for it all week. This is a big one. Huge. I couldn’t wait to get it under my (fuel) belt. And then I woke up.
I woke up to the sound of wind. As I started to get ready I realized the wind wasn’t letting up, so I checked the weather report. High wind advisory. SWELL. I already knew I would be racing against time to avoid the heat, which wouldn’t be an easy battle because I mapped out 10 miles of hills for myself. Wind was not going to make anything easier. Not. At. All. But I laced up and got out there anyway. Somehow I survived and lived to write about it. Here’s how it all went down:
Mile 1: The wind appears to have died down. Run woman run!
Miles 2: I was wrong … the wind did not die down.
Mile 3: Suspicious stranger sighting. I’m glad I have my pepper spray but with all the wind I figure using it could backfire. I determine I can out run him. My paranoia subsides.
Mile 4: My left hamstring woke up and is pissed we aren’t still in bed. I also come to the realization that everyone in my neighborhood is still asleep. I am overwhelmed with jealousy.
Mile 5: 10,000 steps. Whatever Fitbit, whatever.
Mile 6: Gusts. I hate them and all the debris that comes with them. Ouch.
Mile 7: I wonder why I didn’t register for the Donate Life 5k that is this weekend. It’s practically in my backyard. Then I realize I would have had to run it over 6 times to get all my miles in. I calculate 6 race entry fees. I am happy I can still do simple math. This skill will be dead to me soon.
Mile 8: Cyclists pass me. I notice all their butts. I conclude that my butt is too big to fit on a bike seat.
Mile 9: The downhill. This is just mind trickery to build my confidence … the REAL hills are coming.
Mile 10: I’m at the gates of Hell. Let the hill repeats begin.
Mile 11: Branches are falling from the trees. Sure let’s make this a terrifying obstacle course too. Because I obviously need THAT in my life.
Mile 12: Blood, sweat and gagging. I REALLY hate hills. Oh and MORE WIND.
Mile 13: If wind was a person I would call it a bad name … and punch it in the throat.
Mile 14: I’m pretty sure everything is chapped.
Mile 15: What fresh hell is this?
Mile 16: Pulling out the big guns. Electrolytes with extra caffeine. This will either get me to the end of this run or give me a heart attack. At this point I see it going either way.
Mile 17: A brief encounter with feeling TOTALLY BITCHEN. In your face haters. I GOT THIS.
Mile 18: BITCHEN feeling gone. I start my run home. I remember that it’s uphill. I am running into the sun and have a constant headwind. I cry a little and question my sanity.
Mile 19: My ability to do simple math is gone. Everything hurts. I am pretty sure running is very bad for you.
Mile 20: DONE. Elated and thankful. It is over. I did it. And I am pretty sure that once the feeling of wanting to throw-up leaves my body I will want to eat my weight in donuts.
The 20 miler. Even under the best of circumstances I have never found this distance easy. Today was unbelievably hard. It beat my tush. But I have learned over the years that if I try hard enough I can find humor in even the most difficult runs. I gotta say, I like that about myself.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you laugh yourself through some tough times!!!