As I sit her writing I am crying. Again. I am at THAT stage of marathon training. The wait just before race day.
One does not come to run a marathon by accident. It takes months of training and requires an enormous amount of support from family and friends. You are never in it alone. And it’s during this time that I am wildly aware of and completely humbled by the love and support I’ve been shown by my army. I do not do this alone. I couldn’t, nor would I ever want to.
Nike just recently released a new commercial called “Last”. The setting is the last miles of a marathon course on the streets to San Francisco. There is no finish line in sight. You see a sparse crowd of weary runners. The focus changes to one young woman. She is … dead last. The narration is of her thoughts. How she is not a “runner”. How she is “especially not a marathon runner”. But at the end of “this” she will be.
You only have your first marathon experience once. Mine was truly exceptional. I won’t get into all the details again, but suffice it to say that it will always remain one of the most special memories of my lifetime. And although you only have that experience once there is something wildly magical about being on marathon course. There is something that happens to you out there, each and every time, that is worth all the pain, anxiety, frustration and disappointment that you may experience along the way. You are often shown a side of yourself that you never knew existed. And upon crossing that finish line, you find that it is a piece of you that somehow you can now never live without.
I have struggled so much this marathon training. I wanted so much for this race. The lessons I’ve learned have been hard and uncomfortable. I’ve been heartbroken watching on my progress disappear. But I have also made peace with what wasn’t meant to be this time around. I am thankful to still be able to run this race. It’s honestly miracle. I find comfort in knowing that this race and the training that came before it was chosen to be part of the lessons that I needed to experience to become the runner I’ve always wanted to be. There will be a next time for me … and I look forward to it.
On Sunday I will run a race that I won’t be the best trained for. It won’t be my fastest. It won’t be THE ONE. But I WILL finish, despite every obstacle that was thrown in my way. And I will continue to appreciate every single step I am able to make, because regardless of how things turn out, I will always see running as a gift. A gift that shreds me to pieces mind, body and soul. Yet somehow manages to make me feel brand-new again. Every. Single. Time.
Well, I hope you all have a day where you look forward to another life-changing experience!!!