Today was a good day. A day that I had somehow managed to doubt, at least at times, would ever come.
I’m not sure if it’s a “losing a parent young” thing or just losing a parent in general that sets one’s mind thinking. But I do know this, I never really knew for sure if I would eventually follow in my mother’s footsteps. I wondered, over the past almost 21 years, if I would make it to 46 years and 167 days. And if I did, would it be Breast Cancer free? Would I somehow be able to dodge THAT bullet? What could I possibly do to keep myself from having the same fate as the parent I identified with most?
Despite years of fitness and healthy eating, I learned it’s not a guarantee of continued health or a barrier between myself and the threat of cancer. Cancer doesn’t make sense and it doesn’t discriminate. It takes who it wants, when it wants … it’s a BASTARD that way.
But after all the fear, worry and doubt. I made it.
This morning, as I sat at the table with Reese, I listened to our morning noise. The sounds that go along with getting four kids off to school were strikingly familiar and somehow comforting. And then it struck me … something was missing. I couldn’t believe it. It was so tangible and real … the absence of the clatter in my head. A burden that was once there, gone. Today was literally the first day of the rest of my life without worry of not “getting there”. A sense of relief washed over me. Oh, I had indeed GOTTEN HERE … and the knowledge was absolutely freeing.
Well, I hope you all had a day where you found some peace of mind!!!