Facing my fear of failure …

Failure … I’m not even comfortable typing it. Truthfully I don’t think I’ve ever even written about it. Let’s face it, FAILURE is UNpleasant. No one goes out and starts something they plan on failing at. Failure is not ever THE GOAL. But boy oh boy … facing the fear of failure can prove to be quite a valuable lesson. The threat of failure forces us to do many UNpleasant (again, the only word that goes hand and hand with it) things. The worst part of that threat for me are the feelings I have about not becoming who I thought I could be. I’m not a very competitive person unless it’s against myself (OK fine, and with the high school football coach I frequently see on training runs throughout the streets of my city). But in general, I have never found any use in competing with others, about anything. Running is no exception (again, unless “the coach” is visible). Perhaps it’s the “only child” in me or the way I was raised. It has come very naturally for me to live a life focused solely on doing my PERSONAL BEST. And I think it has served me well. BUT when you live this way, you soon realize it is ALL on you. And I don’t know about anyone else, but I can be REALLY REALLY mean to me. I can be not very nice to myself when I’m staring down not achieving a goal I set for myself. And that, again, is quite unpleasant. In regards to marathon training, you have to surrender to the fact that you need to push yourself physically beyond anything you ever thought normal or rational to succeed. To leave IT all out there and trust God to put you back together after it’s all
over … assuming there is anything left of you to put back, HA! You have to look failure in the face and say YOU ARE NOT WELCOMED HERE TODAY. Failure … the fear of it will definitely make or break you. I’m going to choose to face my fears about failure and allow the process to change me. To allow the threat of failure to mold me, push me and help me become … just a little bit more of me.

Well, I hope you all have a day where you have no other option than to SUCCEED!!!

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