Patience, demons and having what it takes …

It seems like every time I come to San Francisco, I set out to prove something to myself. I ran my first marathon here, completing a dream I had lost long ago. I became a Marathon Maniac here, proving to myself that although I might get knocked down it won’t ever stop me from living a life beyond my wildest dreams. And now … tomorrow I will run in the first half of the San Francisco Marathon and will get to run over the Golden Gate Bridge. Something I have wanted to do for some time now. This is also my first race as a 46 year old … and I’d be lying if I told you that my mother isn’t on my mind. She is.

I have written before that my mother was dying at my age. Some days I can’t put how all that feels into words. It’s one of the reasons I decided to run the full marathon at Ventura. Sure, I’m not as fast as I was, I may not PR and my foot may still take me out of it altogether somewhere on that race course. BUT you know what? I’m going to do it anyway. I’m going to try because at my age my mom couldn’t … and she would want me to. Each step I take these days feels like they are as much for her as they are for me. Yes. I’m battling a few demons this year. Don’t ya think?!?!

So anyway, what am I proving to myself tomorrow?

It’s pretty simple really, yet horribly complicated too. Tomorrow I prove to myself that I can be patient, when patience matters most.

Tomorrow I will not PR, I won’t even come close. There are many reasons why but the main one is that I can’t lay it all out there tomorrow if I want to do my best at Ventura. It’s hard to explain the science of marathoning because I don’t completely understand all the logistics, but I do get that running half marathon pace and marathon pace are a big difference. Pushing one, when you should be running the other is a bad thing. And so tomorrow, I will hold back and run at my expected marathon pace which is slower than my half marathon pace. I will focus on the bigger picture … even though I don’t want to.

And here is why. I love running, but I ABSOLUTELY LOVE marathoning. And if I want to become the type of marathoner I so badly want to be, I need to act like it. I need to run smart and stay focused on what I REALLY want.

Patience … yes … tomorrow it’s about patience … oh … and probably about facing a few demons too.

Well, I hope you all had a day where you feel ready to prove you have what it takes!!!

A beautiful day …

This morning my oldest daughter Sidney and I set out on our Bay Area adventure. We drove about 400 miles today stopping to see the sights along the way. We had dinner with a teammate who I have adopted as my own. It was wonderful to see her. The next five days will be filled with many events, as Sid and I are running in the first half of the San Francisco Marathon. Then Sidney has a hospitality stay at the Academy of the Art, a university she is looking to hang her hat at for four years. A thought I find thrilling, but on some level, heart breaking. I enjoyed every second with Sidney today. Her funny remarks. Her randomness. Her giggle. I love the alone time with her. Soon these moments will get fewer and fewer. Life will happen and she will leave home. Every moment is just so precious to me and this day has been so special. I look forward to the next few days, but for now I’m just appreciating today. The time, with my baby girl … grown.

Well, I hope you all had a beautiful day!!!

I could have eaten a horse …

I have had an unusually busy few days, and I hate to admit it, but my eating suffers greatly. Not that I eat a bunch of junk, I just don’t eat at all. I rationalize doing JUST ON
MORE THING (that turns into 10) before I take a break to eat a meal. Hours go by and I honestly don’t even realize it. It’s SO BAD! And when I finally do eat … LOOK OUT.

Well, I hope you all had a day where you did’t feel like you could eat a horse!!!

Tipping over …

… blink … blink … nod … snore … startle … blink … blink … nod … snore … startle … blink … blink … nod … snore … startle … blink … blink … nod … snore … startle …

Well, I hope you all had a day where you weren’t so tired that you felt like you were about to tip over!!!